how to help adhd kid with homework

7 Ways To Motivate A Kid With ADHD To Do Homework And Chores

Start by meeting your kid where they are — and really listen to what they’re telling you.

All parents fight with their kids to do their chores or homework, but with kids who have ADHD, it’s a whole other battle. Children with ADHD are neurologically wired to have difficulty starting and finishing tasks . They often struggle with executive functioning , a family of mental skills that includes the ability to plan, conceptualize, and execute goals. All of this means that completing everyday tasks such as homework and chores — or even getting up for school — can become major points of difficulty for some kids, and major points of conflict between them and their parents.

That doesn’t mean that the only option is to push your way through. For children (and adults) with ADHD, staying on task can sometimes be as easy as reframing the process using management and motivation styles that better fit their needs and are more suited to the way they think. While the same strategies won’t work for everyone, these seven tips are a great place to start figuring out the right setup to keep your kid with ADHD on task.

1. A Little Understanding Goes a Long Way

Start by meeting your kid where they are — and really listen to what they’re saying. When a child appears disinterested or unable to start a task or an assignment, try to identify anything that might be getting in their way. ADHD and anxiety often go hand in hand , and tasks can feel overwhelming if they’re long and complex, or they may bring up some underlying discomfort (like assignments from that one terrifying teacher). Once you know what obstacles your child is facing, you’ll be better poised to find ways to overcome them. And yes, being bored definitely counts as one of these obstacles.

2. Break Down Larger Goals

Maintaining focus and motivation over a long period of time is difficult for kids with ADHD — it’s like trying to remember your place in a book with pages that won’t stop flipping around. Plenty of projects can be broken down into discrete parts, and writing them down on a piece of paper or a whiteboard can help free up brain space and encourage your child to focus on one step at a time, says Carey Heller, Psy.D. , a Maryland-based psychologist who specializes in childhood and adolescent ADHD. Try finding a way to help your child unwind in between each step.

3. Encourage Routine

“Creating structure is really important,” Heller says. Small routines, like a pre-homework snack after school followed by a set reminder to do homework , can help create a familiar flow of activities that eliminates the need to spend mental energy on planning when to tackle heftier tasks.

Knowing when a change in activity is coming is also a huge boon for the ADHD brain, which can easily become fixated and difficult to redirect . “For example, if a child is reading for fun, or playing a game of some kind, suddenly being surprised by parents saying ‘It's time to do homework ’ may make them yell or react a little more strongly because of the difficulty shifting attention, rather than it being that they truly don't want to do it,” Heller says. If it’s a routine that game time stops at 5 p.m. everyday, switching away from that activity will likely be less of a fight.

4. Set Reminders

When it comes to ADHD , organization is key. Luckily, there’s no shortage of tools to help parents and children achieve it. For older kids with smartphones, using the reminder and calendar apps to break up tasks into to-dos and deadlines is just a matter of building the habit. For parents of younger children, or those who may not want their kids relying on screens to manage their planning, smart home devices can act as hands-free virtual assistants for even the tiniest of tots. Heller says he uses his own Amazon Echo to set reminders so often that his son was listing off his own tasks to the device at the age of 4. For a tech-free option, paper planners can be a huge help to older kids — some are even made specifically for those with ADHD . The best reminder system for your kid, Heller says, is whichever one they’ll use.

5. Add Rewards

It’s what we all want for a job well done — something to look forward to. There’s good evidence that the dopamine reward pathway — the portion of the brain that makes you feel good when you accomplish something — is disrupted in people with ADHD, leading to a deficit in the ability to motivate from within . Thankfully, there’s also evidence that for children under 12 , having an extrinsic reward, or something tangible to look forward to, can improve performance on a task.

For bigger projects, Heller suggests sprinkling rewards along the way. Which rewards work best is going to vary a ton from child to child, but options such as a favorite meal or quality time with a parent tend to be a hit in his office.

6. Embrace Fidgeting

Sure, your kid has to sit still at school. But at home, there’s no need to be so rigid. Heller swears by the strategy of “ harnessing fidgeting to improve focus .” Turn your kid’s desk into the most fun home office in the house with items like an under-desk elliptical, a balance board, or even a simple standing desk setup — find what clicks for them. Even something as simple as pacing the room while reading can help some kids with ADHD stay engaged.

7. Remember: You’re There to Guide

Helping your child manage their ADHD is all about “parenting for independence ,” Heller says. He encourages parents to develop strategies that their children and teens can take into adulthood and use themselves, rather than ones that require constant parental involvement. For younger kids, modeling certain routines and behaviors can be a huge push in the right direction.

This article was originally published on Aug. 16, 2022

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School success kit for kids with adhd.

Tools and strategies to help manage time, stay focused, and handle homework

Writer: Rae Jacobson

What You'll Learn

• What are some ways to help kids with ADHD get organized?
• How can parents help kids plan ahead?

For kids with ADHD, the right approach to school can mean the difference between good grades (and the confidence that comes with them) and  “I lost my homework… again.” Here are a few suggestions for tools and strategies to help kids with ADHD get set for success.  

First, get the materials you’ll need. Find, and test, a good planner or calendar so your child can get comfortable using it. There are lots of other tools that can help kids stay on time and on task. Get back-ups of items that often get lost. For example, if disappearing socks (or keys, or gloves or hats) are slowing you down, getting more can help you get out the door on time.  

Talk with your child about how to tackle challenges. For example, if paying attention is hard, they could agree to sit at the front of the classroom. If homework is a big issue, setting up a structured, regular homework routine will help. You can also pick a quiet, organized space where kids can work with fewer distractions.  

 If kids take medication, make sure they’re doing so regularly. Go over potential problems with teachers and work together to come up with a plan for what to do if they come up.  

For a lot of kids with ADHD, past difficulties can make it hard to feel good about school. Let your child know that the past is something you can both learn from, and agree to start from a clean slate. Talk about any anxieties they have, and work together to make a plan to support them emotionally throughout the year.  

For kids with ADHD , the right approach to school can mean the difference between good grades, and the confidence that comes with them, and another round of, “I lost my homework … again.” Here are a few suggestions for tools and strategies to help kids with ADHD get set for success.

• Calendar(s):  Whether it’s the New Year, the new school year, or any time a resolution is made to be better organized , calendars are key to kids with ADHD. Your child should have a  school calendar  with enough space to allow them to write down and organize (by color-coding!) assignments. We recommend a separate calendar for social engagements and after-school activities. Additionally, it helps to add everything to a  digital calendar  with a reminder function that can push notifications to their phone. Another feature of online calendars is the  sharing function.  This allows them to share their calendar with parents and teachers and helps everyone stay on the same page.
• Backup Items:  Avoid morning (and afternoon, and evening) panic by having  multiples of items that are easily lost . Think about the things that tend to go missing: If disappearing socks are slowing you down, get more socks. If stealthy shoes (or keys, or gloves or hats or transit fares) are making them late, keeping backups on hand will help them get out the door on time.
• Head of the Class : Literally. Sitting in the front of the room not only helps kids avoid the distractions (and temptations!) of back-row chatter and note-passing — it also  promotes accountability . The harder it is for kids with ADHD to slip through the cracks, the better. When kids sit up front, it’s easier for the teacher to notice if they’re having a hard time and give you both a chance address the issue  before  it becomes a problem.
• Set Up a Homework Routine:  Having a structured, regular homework routine will help kids and parents get work done without squabbles when it’s time to hit the books. Designate a quiet, organized space where kids can work with minimal distractions. Schedule regular breaks for them to get up and move around — not screen breaks! — and don’t forget snacks to help keep blood sugar and focus going strong.
• Prioritize:  Kids with ADHD often have trouble knowing which assignments should take priority. Here is where  color-coding  can really come in handy. Arm them with highlighters— and backup highlighters! Assign each color a priority level. For example pink would be “high,” blue, “medium,” and green, “low.” Having a pre-established system will help them build skills and get a sense of what to do when. You can also use apps like  Remember the Milk , which allows users to add due dates, priority levels, and estimates of how much time each task will take.
• Time Management:  The eternal battle. Learning to effectively manage time is the grail for kids with ADHD. In addition to calendars,  task timers  like  Focus Booster  can help kids get better at judging how much time each task will take, and let them know when it’s time to move on to something new. Timers aren’t just helpful with homework and chores — they can also use one during longer tests to remind her him to switch sections and use their time efficiently.
• Structured Play Dates:  If your son or daughter with ADHD has trouble making and keeping friends , play dates with structured activity, where you can tell them what’s expected of them, can ease their anxiety about fitting in socially.
• Medication Check-in : Kids who have  stopped taking meds during summer  should begin taking them again before school starts so they have time to adjust. And when school starts it’s important to pay close attention to how it’s working over the full day (including mornings!) and adjust the schedule so kids aren’t crashing during the last few periods or having mid-math homework meltdowns after school.
• Concentration Aids:  White noise generators help block distractions and boost productivity. Try apps like  Simply Noise  that offer a few “types” of noise (pink or brown noise, rainstorms, calming music, etc) so kids can choose what works best for them. You can also use a  white noise machine  or run a loud fan at home to help kids during homework.
• Recording Apps:  No matter what accommodations kids have, paying attention to lectures and verbal instructions is a big part of doing well in school. Help kids stay on track by using recording apps with dictation functions. That way they can review any missed information later on.
• Check the Policy:  Assistive technology can be great for kids with ADHD, but a lot of it relies on smartphones. If your child uses apps to help them during school make sure you  check his school’s cell phone policy.  If it’s strict, you’ll need to address it during IEP meetings.
• Save and Share:  Sometimes it seems like ADHD and Murphy’s Law are one and the same. If homework can be lost, left behind or vanish, it’ll happen. If your child is working on an important paper or project encourage them to use programs like Google Docs that  are set to save frequently and backup to online servers . This way, he’ll have access to documents wherever he goes and won’t run the risk of losing his work if the computer encounters a problem.
• Get Moving:  Studies show that  exercise has a positive impact on focus and attention in children with ADHD. When you’re thinking about school schedules and after-school activities, include things that get kids get moving. Make sure you’re signing kids up for things they’ll actually like, whether that’s basketball, gymnastics, hiking or real-world Quidditch. What they’re doing isn’t important as long as they’re getting exercise and forming positive associations with physical activity.
• Give the Teacher a Heads Up:  If you’re not planning on having an IEP for your child, it’s still a good idea to let their teachers know they learn differently . A quick heads up gives teachers insight into potential behavioral issues how to support them throughout the semester.
• Practice Advocating:  Parents shouldn’t be the only ones talking with teachers. The best thing your child can do to ensure a bright future is learn to become their own advocate. Whenever possible, put them in charge of talking to teachers or peers about their ADHD . Practicing advocacy skills now will help them gain the confidence they’ll need to succeed later in life.
• A Clean Slate:  For a lot of kids with ADHD, past difficulties can make it hard to have a positive outlook on school. Fears of messing up socially, failing in school, and disappointing parents and teachers are very real for kids with ADHD. Let your child know that the past is something you can both learn from, but otherwise agree to work from a clean slate. Talk about any anxieties they may have around school, and work together to make a plan to support them emotionally throughout the year.

Frequently Asked Questions

You can help your child with ADHD focus in school by introducing more structure and organization into their daily life. For example, experts recommend color-coded calendars to help track and prioritize assignments. Seating the child at the front of the class will also help them stay on track by limiting distractions. Parents can also set up regular homework routines and some form of exercise after school.

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Schoolwork at Home with ADHD

At a glance.

Without classroom structure, kids with ADHD often find it hard to get on track and stay on track • Whether managing virtual schooling or homework, these simple strategies can help your child be more productive while doing assignments at home

Create a Designated Workspace

A neurotypical brain is capable of filtering out multiple inputs, but the ADHD brain struggles to tune out noise and distractions in the workplace, making it exceptionally hard to focus.

To give the ADHD brain a hand, create a specific workplace for your child that is as distraction-free as possible. Ideally, this is a space that is only used for working, so the brain learns to associate it with quiet concentration. To the degree possible, this space should be separate from main living areas where other family members might be moving around or making noise. If your child is particularly sensitive to noise, he may also benefit from noise-cancelling headphones and listening to white noise.

Chunk Assignments

One feature of ADHD is difficulty with planning, organizing, and initiating tasks . To make homework less overwhelming and help your child develop planning skills, help to break down assignments into clearly defined  chunks,  or steps. For example, instead of “Write book report,” help develop a specific list of what has to be accomplished, such as, “1. Read book. 2. Come up with a thesis statement. 3. Write outline…” etc.

Have your child focus on completing one chunk at a time, and monitor his progress as he works. It helps to give feedback (with as much  positive   feedback as possible!) on their working style as they go.

Use the Pomodoro Technique

Teenagers and young adults often benefit from a time management method called the  Pomodoro Technique , which structures work time around frequent short breaks. The Pomodoro Technique works as follows:

• Select the task to work on
• Set a timer for 25 minutes
• After the 25 minutes, take a 5-minute break
• After four “pomodoros” (or 25-minute chunks), take a longer break of 15-30 minutes.

There are several apps that help keep track of pomodoros, such as “PomoDone,” “Focus Keeper,” or “Marinara Timer.”

For younger children, or teenagers with severe ADHD, this technique should be adjusted down to shorter intervals. Many young kids with ADHD can’t focus for more than 5-10 minutes. Find the amount of time that works—long enough for them to make progress but not so long that they get overly antsy, frustrated, or tired—and use frequent breaks to help them stay regulated.

Encourage Movement

Many children and teens with ADHD move around like Energizer Bunnies. While this may seem distracting, it’s actually the body’s way of compensating for  understimulation  in the brain. So to help your child focus, find ways to integrate movement into their work. This could mean having them stand up while doing work, or even doing work while walking or wiggling around, if the assignment allows. For work that has to be completed in one set place, allowing them to use a fidget toy can make a big difference in their ability to focus.

Outside of actual work time, it helps to take frequent “brain breaks” where movement is encouraged. Have you ever noticed that you tend to be more clear-headed after exercising or going for a walk? This is even more the case for those with ADHD. Whether it’s taking a 5-minute dance break, doing some jumping jacks or burpees, or taking a walk around the block, getting the body moving will help to stimulate their brains and give them an extra jolt of “focus” for the next round of working.

Most importantly, do your best to be patient with the process. Because ADHD has many different presentations, some strategies will work better for your child than others. Do a little trial and error, and check in often about what helps the most. Whenever you find something that works, take the opportunity to celebrate! Your child is working hard to overcome his struggles, and so are you. Keep up the great work!

This article is adapted with permission from the Sasco River Center in CT . Caroline Segal, a psychotherapist at the Sasco River Center, specializes in the treatment of child and adolescent anxiety, depression, trauma, and behavioral issues.

Related Smart Kids Topics

• ADHD: An Overview
• Exercise: Good Medicine for ADHD
• Improving Executive Skills

AWARD-WINNING BLOG

5 strategies to make homework easier for adhd kids (and parents).

Home work. Those two words seem mismatched.

Home is where you can chill, be yourself, and get a little break from “work.”

Coming home from their 30-hour a week "job," many children crave down time. They want a break from "work" – from being "on" or putting effort into paying attention for six hours!

So who can blame kids for not wanting to do their homework ?

As parents, we understand that homework reinforces lessons learned from the school day. Revisiting material and practicing skills is fruitful. However, if you have a child (or more), you probably have stories that prove otherwise. Especially with screens as part of the equation.

Attention-challenged children struggle because of problems unrelated to the specific homework assignment:

• Dis tracted by the internet
• Dis enchanted with the topic
• Dis engaged during the lesson at school
• Dis mayed by how long it takes to answer a single question
• Dis combobulated from trying to categorize what is most important

Homework also assumes that all children have stay-at-home moms who are “on call” to help – which is not exactly true in this day and age!

Since our smart but scattered children aren't naturally supplied with minds that can keep track of due dates and directions, here are some homework strategies to ease the challenges ADHD kids face. But remember – the most important thing you can do to help your child, by far, is to notice what she or he does well, and encourage it.

Article continues below...

Want to stop school struggles.

Download a free tipsheet "10 Parenting Tips for School Success" to stop constant challenges at school and at home!

Here are 5 homework strategies for ADHD kids to get you started:

• Right after school or later ?
• Broken into time segments?
• With or without music?
• At a desk or the kitchen counter?
• Allow them to change it up from day to day

Foster Independence

Around 5th grade, a major goal can be independence with homework. From start to finish, the parent should assist – not nag to completion. You can gradually help your child less and less, and still expect high quality work.

• Note: this may be delayed for many kids with Executive Function challenges
• From start to finish, the parent should assist – not nag to completion.
• Gradually help less and less, and still expect high quality work.
• Goal: Only help when your child asks for it.
• Remember that it's their work – not yours.
• Digital post-it notes for work for some students – they see them on their desktop when they arrive at the screen.
• Reward for independently using processes and organization strategies, sticking to a time schedule, and being focused on online resources (rather than Youtube, etc.).

Visual Charts

• Calendars or bulleted lists help enormously. Student planners and online calendars tend to be "out of sight and out of mind."
• Large white boards are great, ideally one for each child.
• Designate a special place on the wall for it. Use it to make charts that track homework topics or nightly reading.
• Use abbreviations and humor to simplify and keep your child's attention.
• Boxes on the chart can also list homework assignments.
• Have your child write estimates for how long they should take to finish.
• It's beneficial to an ADD mind to track time elapsing. After the work is done, write down how long it actually took to track time management.

Physical Space

• Comfortable, flat surface
• Well-lit from above
• Not too far from the printer, if a middle or high schooler
• Quiet (except possible headphones)
• Free from distraction
• Stocked with needed materials
• Fidgets that help focus (not distract)

Paperwork – Breathe, and Scan Everything!

• Keeping track of the endless reading logs, rubrics, drafts, and study sheets seems impossible!
• Maintaining their original condition is even more difficult. This is where technology is your friend.
• Teachers who post documents on their websites are saviors. Scan any blank reading logs or assignments to keep on record at home.
• It also helps to color code folders and notebooks for some children.

More From ADHD Blog

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Home / Expert Articles / Conditions / Diagnoses / ADHD / ADD

Simple Homework Tips for Kids with ADD and ADHD

By robert myers, phd.

Homework can be difficult for most kids during the school year, but it can become a major challenge when you have a child with ADHD. But here’s some good news for exhausted parents: if you take the right steps now, at the beginning of the school year, homework hassles can be kept to a minimum. The key is to be organized and plan ahead to minimize the frustration your child is bound to experience around multiple homework assignments. Begin by tackling the two most important places: school and home with these homework tips for kids with ADHD and ADD .

At the beginning of the school year, meet with your child’s teacher (or teachers) to find out what the expectations are regarding homework. Try to work out a system where they can let you know in advance what homework will be assigned either on a week-to-week basis or for the whole semester. Many teachers are even willing to keep you informed by e-mail. You should check with your child’s teachers periodically to make sure that things are going well. And definitely remember to ask them to inform you whether assignments are being turned in on time.

Another big problem for kids with ADHD is that they often forget to bring their books home. You may be able to work out with the school, particularly if your child has a 504 plan, to get an extra set of books. This way, your child will have a set of books at school and a set of books at home.

Children with attention disorders, particularly those with a 504 plan, are entitled to accommodations to make school demands appropriate to their abilities. So for example, in math or other subjects with long lists of questions or problems, the accommodation states that the school must allow the child to do every other question or problem, rather than the entire list that’s been assigned. Talk to your child’s teachers about your child’s abilities and the accommodations that can be made. It can make the difference between enduring endless hours of frustration at homework time and having your child succeed.

Moving now to the home front, it’s important, if possible, to have a quiet time in the home where there’s no TV and no other media to distract your child. You might even stop phone calls during homework time. And if you have a project that you’ve brought home from work, consider doing it while your child is doing his schoolwork. (But be available for help if necessary.) This helps younger children with ADHD to understand that homework is a normal part of life—just another responsibility that needs to be met, and it also sets the right mood for focusing and concentration.

It’s best to have a scheduled time for homework and a quiet place to do it. For older kids, it may even be a good idea to set up their own “office”. This could be a space in their room, the living room or kitchen where they do their homework on a regular basis. You might even put up a bulletin board with all their long-term assignments and due dates. What this provides is a way to make it easy to have all the materials they need and to keep them on task.

If you know what your child’s assignments are, you should review them together. Make sure that they understand what they need to do. In particular, be certain they understand the directions completely. If they have homework for several different subjects, you can eliminate much of the hassle simply by helping them to organize their time.

It may be a good idea to break homework into sections. You can set aside time for each specific subject, with some relaxation breaks in between. High school age kids with ADHD certainly can do an hour of homework at a time without a break, while first graders may only be able to go for 10 to 15 minutes without a break. You need to determine what you feel is a reasonable amount of study time for your child, and then help him or her to manage their time appropriately. When they complete their homework successfully, use fun activities such as on TV or video games (or whatever your child enjoys) as a reward.

Finally, a big problem for kids with ADHD is that even when they get the homework completed, they forget to turn it in to the teacher. It’s wise to have a notebook with a clipboard or a separate folder for homework for your child. Remind him or her to check the clipboard or folder at school for each class to be sure that they turned in all the work. Then, before they leave school, they should check it once again. If they find any assignments that were not turned in they should take it to the teacher or the office and hand it in before they leave the campus. Most teachers will accept an assignment later in the day from a child they know to be attempting to cope with ADHD.

The internet also has great resources to help you and your child gather information for homework projects. These include Kid Info www.kidinfo.com , Fact Monster www.factmonster.com and Searching for Stuff-Kid’s search tools www.slco.lib.ut.us/kids_search.htm .

Related Content: 8 Tips for Parents of Children with ADHD ADHD, LDs, ODD? How to Stop Doing Too Much for Your Special Needs Kid

About Robert Myers, PhD

Dr. Robert Myers is a child psychologist with more than 30 years of experience working with children and adolescents with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADD - ADHD) and learning disabilities. Dr. Myers is Associate Clinical Professor of Psychiatry and Human Behavior at UC Irvine School of Medicine. "Dr. Bob" has provided practical information for parents as a radio talk show host and as editor of Child Development Institute's website, childdevelopmentinfo.com . Dr. Myers earned his Ph.D. from the University of Southern California.

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keepingthefaith My 12-yr old is officially diagnosed with ASD/Anxiety/Mood Disorder/Depression.  I recently withdrew him from public school.  The admin was using detention and taking away his break time to motivate him to do his work at school.  He has an IEP for every accommodation conceivable, but he was refusing to write More paragraphs and essays.  I pulled him out after the school took away his "safe room" and started piling on consequences.  My question is, how am I going to get him to write paragraphs and essays when we start homeschooling?  He sees a behavioral therapist and a psychiatrist and is on meds to focus.  He is a bright boy, usually coring three grade levels ahead.

Responses to questions posted on EmpoweringParents.com are not intended to replace qualified medical or mental health assessments. We cannot diagnose disorders or offer recommendations on which treatment plan is best for your family. Please seek the support of local resources as needed. If you need immediate assistance, or if you and your family are in crisis, please contact a qualified mental health provider in your area, or contact your statewide crisis hotline.

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Setting up your child for school success

Tips for working with teachers, tips for managing adhd symptoms at school, tips for making learning fun, tips for mastering homework, adhd and school.

School can be a challenge for students with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder—but here’s how you can help your child or teen succeed in the classroom.

Reviewed by Tatiana Rivera Cruz, LICSW , a clinical social worker/therapist at ADHD Advisor who specializes in ADHD, depression, anxiety, grief, couples counseling, family conflict, trauma, and PTSD

The classroom environment can pose challenges for a child with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD or ADD). The very tasks these students find the most difficult—sitting still, listening quietly, concentrating—are the ones they are required to do all day long. Perhaps most frustrating of all is that most of these children want to be able to learn and behave like their unaffected peers. Neurological deficits, not unwillingness, keep kids with attention deficit disorder from learning in traditional ways.

As a parent, you can help your child cope with these deficits and overcome the challenges school creates. You can work with your child to implement practical strategies for learning both inside and out of the classroom and communicate with teachers about how your child learns best. With consistent support, the following strategies can help your child enjoy learning, meet educational challenges—and experience success at school and beyond.

Remember that your child’s teacher has a full plate: in addition to managing a group of children with distinct personalities and preferences, they can also expect to have at least one student with ADHD. Teachers may try their best to help your child with attention deficit disorder learn effectively, but parental involvement can dramatically improve your child’s education. You have the power to optimize your child’s chances for success by supporting the steps taken in the classroom. If you can work with and support your child’s teacher, you can directly affect the experience of your child with ADHD at school.

There are a number of ways you can work with teachers to keep your child on track at school. Together you can help your child learn to find their feet in the classroom and work effectively through the challenges of the school day. As a parent, you are your child’s advocate. For your child to succeed in the classroom, it is vital that you communicate their needs to the adults at school. It is equally important for you to listen to what the teachers and other school officials have to say.

You can ensure that communication with your child’s school is constructive and productive. Try to keep in mind that your mutual purpose is finding out how to best help your child succeed in school. Whether you talk over the phone, email, or meet in person, make an effort to be calm, specific, and above all positive—a good attitude can go a long way when communicating with the school.

Plan ahead. You can arrange to speak with school officials or teachers before the school year even begins. If the year has started, plan to speak with a teacher or counselor on at least a monthly basis.

Make meetings happen. Agree on a time that works for both you and your child’s teacher and stick to it. If it’s convenient, meet in your child’s classroom so you can get a sense of their physical learning environment.

Create goals together. Discuss your hopes for your child’s school success. Together, write down specific and realistic goals and talk about how to help your child reach them.

Listen carefully. Like you, your child’s teacher wants to see them succeed at school. Listen to what they have to say—even if it is sometimes hard to hear. Understanding your child’s challenges in school is the key to finding solutions that work.

Share information. You know your child’s history, and your child’s teacher sees them every day: together you have a lot of information that can lead to better understanding of your child’s hardships. Share your observations freely, and encourage your child’s teachers to do the same.

Ask the hard questions and give a complete picture. Be sure to list any medications your child takes and explain any other treatments. Share with the teacher which tactics work well—and which don’t—for your child at home. Ask if your child is having any problems in school, including on the playground. Find out if they are eligible for any special services to help with learning.

Developing and using a behavior plan

Children with ADD/ADHD are capable of appropriate classroom behavior, but they need structure and clear expectations in order to keep their symptoms in check. As a parent, you can help by developing a behavior plan for your child—and sticking to it. Whatever type of behavior plan you decide to implement, create it in close collaboration with your child and their teacher.

Kids with attention deficit disorder respond best to specific goals and daily positive reinforcement—as well as worthwhile rewards. Yes, you may have to hang a carrot on a stick to motivate your child to behave better in class. Create a plan that incorporates small rewards for small victories and larger rewards for bigger accomplishments.

Find a behavior plan that works

Click here to download a highly regarded behavior plan called The Daily Report Card, which can be adjusted for elementary, middle, and even high school students with ADHD.

Source:  Center for Children and Families

Developing an individualized education program (IEP)

An IEP is a free service in the United States that outlines unique accommodations to help your child with ADHD reach set goals in the classroom. For example, an IEP might include: 

• Extra time for your child to spend on quizzes and tests. 
• Learning plan tailored to their specific needs.
• Relocation to a classroom environment with fewer distractions. 

An IEP will also include specific, measurable goals so you can keep track of what’s working best for your child. 

As a parent, you can refer your child for an IEP. However, to be eligible, your child may need to undergo an evaluation that involves a review of their performance in classwork and observations of their behavior. A team of professionals—which might include teachers and healthcare providers—will conduct the assessment and then work with you to come up with a plan.

ADHD impacts each child’s brain differently, so each case can look quite different in the classroom. Children with ADHD exhibit a range of symptoms: some seem to bounce off the walls, some daydream constantly, and others just can’t seem to follow the rules.

As a parent, you can help your child reduce any or all of these types of behaviors. It is important to understand how attention deficit disorder affects different children’s behavior so that you can choose the appropriate strategies for tackling the problem. There are a variety of fairly straightforward approaches you and your child’s teacher can take to best manage the symptoms of ADHD—and put your child on the road to school success.

Managing distractibility

Students with ADHD may become so easily distracted by noises, passersby, or their own thoughts that they often miss vital classroom information. These children have trouble staying focused on tasks that require sustained mental effort. They may seem as if they’re listening to you, but something gets in the way of their ability to retain the information.

Helping kids who distract easily involves physical placement, increased movement, and breaking long stretches of work into shorter chunks.

• Seat the child with ADHD away from doors and windows. Put pets in another room or a corner while the student is working.
• Alternate seated activities with those that allow the child to move their body around the room. Whenever possible, incorporate physical movement into lessons.
• Write important information down where the child can easily read and reference it. Remind the student where the information is located.
• Divide big assignments into smaller ones, and allow children frequent breaks.

Reducing interrupting

Kids with attention deficit disorder may struggle with controlling their impulses, so they often speak out of turn. In the classroom or at home, they call out or comment while others are speaking. Their outbursts may come across as aggressive or even rude, creating social problems as well. The self-esteem of children with ADHD is often quite fragile, so pointing this issue out in class or in front of family members doesn’t help the problem—and may even make matters worse.

Correcting the interruptions of children with ADHD should be done carefully so that the child’s self-esteem is maintained, especially in front of others. Develop a “secret language” with the child with ADHD. You can use discreet gestures or words you have previously agreed upon to let the child know they are interrupting. Praise the child for interruption-free conversations.

Managing impulsivity

Children with ADHD may act before thinking, creating difficult social situations in addition to problems in the classroom. Kids who have trouble with impulse control may come off as aggressive or unruly. This is perhaps the most disruptive symptom of ADHD, particularly at school.

Methods for managing impulsivity include behavior plans, immediate discipline for infractions, and a plan for giving children with ADHD a sense of control over their day.

Make sure a written behavior plan is near the student. You can even tape it to the wall or the child’s desk.

Give consequences immediately following misbehavior. Be specific in your explanation, making sure the child knows how they misbehaved.

Recognize good behavior out loud. Be specific in your praise, making sure the child knows what they did right.

Write the schedule for the day on the board or on a piece of paper and cross off each item as it is completed. Children with impulse problems may gain a sense of control and feel calmer when they know what to expect.

Managing fidgeting and hyperactivity

Students with ADHD are often in constant physical motion. It may seem like a struggle for these children to stay in their seats. Kids with ADD/ADHD may jump, kick, twist, fidget and otherwise move in ways that make them difficult to teach.

Strategies for combating hyperactivity consist of creative ways to allow the child with ADHD to move in appropriate ways at appropriate times. Releasing energy this way may make it easier for the child to keep their body calmer during work time.

Ask children with ADHD to run an errand or complete a task for you, even if it just means walking across the room to sharpen pencils or put dishes away.

Encourage a child with ADHD to play a sport —or at least run around before and after school—and make sure the child never misses recess or P.E.

Provide a stress ball , small toy, or another object for the child to squeeze or play with discreetly at their seat.

Limit screen time in favor of time for movement.

Dealing with trouble following directions

Difficulty following directions is a hallmark problem for many children with ADHD. These kids may look like they understand and might even write down directions, but then aren’t able to follow them as asked. Sometimes these students miss steps and turn in incomplete work, or misunderstand an assignment altogether and wind up doing something else entirely.

Helping children with ADHD follow directions means taking measures to break down and reinforce the steps involved in your instructions, and redirecting when necessary. Try keeping your instructions extremely brief, allowing the child to complete one step and then come back to find out what they should do next. If the child gets off track, give a calm reminder, redirecting in a calm but firm voice. Whenever possible, write directions down in a bold marker or in colored chalk on a blackboard.

One positive way to keep a child’s attention focused on learning is to make the process fun. Using physical motion in a lesson, connecting dry facts to interesting trivia, or inventing silly songs that make details easier to remember can help your child enjoy learning and even reduce the symptoms of ADHD.

Helping children with ADHD enjoy math

Children who have attention deficit disorder tend to think in a “concrete” manner. They often like to hold, touch, or take part in an experience to learn something new. By using games and objects to demonstrate mathematical concepts, you can show your child that math can be meaningful—and fun.

Play games. Use memory cards, dice, or dominoes to make numbers fun. Or simply use your fingers and toes, tucking them in or wiggling them when you add or subtract.

Draw pictures. Especially for word problems, illustrations can help kids better understand mathematical concepts. If the word problem says there are twelve cars, help your child draw them from steering wheel to trunk.

Invent silly acronyms . In order to remember the order of operations, for example, make up a song or phrase that uses the first letter of each operation in the correct order.

Helping children with ADHD enjoy reading

There are many ways to make reading exciting, even if the skill itself tends to pose a struggle for children with ADHD. Keep in mind that reading at its most basic level involves stories and interesting information—which all children enjoy.

Read to children. Make reading cozy, quality time with you.

Make predictions or “bets.” Constantly ask the child what they think might happen next. Model prediction: “The girl in the story seems pretty brave—I bet she’s going to try to save her family.”

Act out the story. Let the child choose their character and assign you one, too. Use funny voices and costumes to bring it to life.

How does your kid like to learn?

When children are given information in a way that makes it easy for them to absorb, learning is a lot more fun. If you understand how your child with ADHD learns best, you can create enjoyable lessons that pack an informational punch.

• Auditory learners learn best by talking and listening. Have these kids recite facts to a favorite song. Let them pretend they are on a radio show and work with others often.
• Visual learners learn best through reading or observation. Let them have fun with different fonts on the computer and use colored flash cards to study. Allow them to write or draw their ideas on paper.
• Tactile learners learn best through physical touch or movement as part of a lesson. For these students, provide jellybeans for counters and costumes for acting out parts of literature or history. Let them use clay and make collages.

Speak to a Licensed Therapist

BetterHelp is an online therapy service that matches you to licensed, accredited therapists who can help with depression, anxiety, relationships, and more. Take the assessment and get matched with a therapist in as little as 48 hours.

Sure, kids may universally dread it—but for a parent of a child with ADHD, homework is a golden opportunity. Academic work done outside the classroom provides you as the parent with a chance to directly support your child. It’s a time you can help your child succeed at school where you both feel most comfortable: your own living room.

With your support, kids with ADHD can use homework time not only for math problems or writing essays, but also for practicing the organizational and study skills they need to thrive in the classroom.

Helping a child with ADHD get organized

When it comes to organization, it can help to get a fresh start. Even if it’s not the start of the academic year, go shopping with your child and pick out school supplies that include folders, a three-ring binder, and color-coded dividers. Help the child file their papers into this new system.

• Establish a homework folder for finished homework and organize loose papers by color-coding folders. Show your child how to file appropriately.
• Help your child organize their belongings on a daily basis, including backpack, folders, and even pockets.
• If possible, keep an extra set of textbooks and other materials at home.
• Help your child learn to make and use checklists, crossing items off as they accomplish them.

Helping a child with ADHD get homework done on time

Understanding concepts and getting organized are two steps in the right direction, but homework also has to be completed in a single evening—and turned in on time. Help a child with ADHD to the finish line with strategies that provide consistent structure.

• Pick a specific time and place for homework that is as free as possible of clutter, pets, and television.
• Allow the child breaks as often as every ten to twenty minutes.
• Teach a better understanding of the passage of time: use an analog clock and timers to monitor homework efficiency.
• Set up a homework procedure at school: establish a place where the student can easily find their finished homework and pick a consistent time to hand in work to the teacher.

Other ways to help your child with homework

Encourage exercise and sleep. Physical activity improves concentration and promotes brain growth. Importantly for children with ADHD, it also leads to better sleep , which in turn can reduce the ADHD symptoms.

Help your child eat right. Scheduling regular nutritious meals and snacks while cutting back on junk and sugary foods can help manage symptoms of ADHD.

Take care of yourself so you’re better able to care for your child. Don’t neglect your own needs. Try to eat right, exercise, get enough sleep, manage stress , and seek face-to-face support from family and friends.

More Information

• Homework Help for ADHD - Tips for children with ADHD. (National Resource Center on ADHD)
• Supporting School Success - Including how to get your child organized, enlisting the school’s help, and seeking evaluation. (American Academy of Child Adolescent Psychiatry)
• Motivating the Child with Attention Deficit Disorder - How ADHD symptoms interfere with classroom expectations and how to realistically motivate your child. (LD Online)
• Step-by-Step Guide for Securing ADHD Accommodations at School - Meeting your child’s educational needs with ADHD accommodations at school. (ADDitude)
• Contents of the IEP - Guide to developing an Individualized Education Program (IEP) with school staff to address your child’s educational needs. (Center for Parent Information and Resources)
• Neurodevelopmental Disorders. (2013). In Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders . American Psychiatric Association. Link
• AACAP. Supporting School Success. (n.d.). American Academy of Adolescent & Child Psychiatry. Retrieved August 12, 2021, from Link
• Teaching Children with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder: Instructional Strategies and Practices– Pg 1. (2008). [Reference Materials; Instructional Materials]. US Department of Education. Link
• Gaastra, G. F., Groen, Y., Tucha, L., & Tucha, O. (2016). The Effects of Classroom Interventions on Off-Task and Disruptive Classroom Behavior in Children with Symptoms of Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder: A Meta-Analytic Review. PLOS ONE, 11(2), e0148841. Link
• CDC. (2019, November 7). ADHD in the Classroom . Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Link
• “Individualized Education Programs (IEPs) (for Parents) – Nemours KidsHealth.” Accessed February 15, 2024. Link

More in ADHD

What teachers can do to help kids in the classroom

Learn what you can do to help your child thrive

What Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder looks like in kids

ADHD in Adults

Recognizing the signs and symptoms, and what you can do about it

Tips for dealing with symptoms, and being more focused and organized

ADHD Medications

Are ADHD drugs right for you or your child?

Dealing with symptoms together and developing a solid partnership

Learn how ADHD is diagnosed in kids and adults

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Does your child have difficulty focusing on an activity or seem impulsive in behavior? When symptoms are severe enough and cause ongoing problems in more than one area of your child's life, it could be a sign of a neurobehavioral disorder, such as ADHD.

Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a chronic condition that affects millions of children and often continues into adulthood. ADHD includes a combination of persistent problems, such as difficulty sustaining attention, hyperactivity and impulsive behavior.

Children with ADHD also may struggle with low self-esteem, school anxiety, troubled relationships and poor performance in school. Symptoms sometimes lessen with age. However, some people never completely outgrow their ADHD symptoms. However, they can learn strategies to be successful.

ADHD subtypes

• Inattentive ADHD Formerly referred to as ADD, people with inattentive ADHD display symptoms of inattention, but do not possess symptoms of hyperactivity or impulsivity.
• Hyperactive/Impulsive ADHD This subset of ADHD display symptoms of impulsivity or hyperactivity, but do not display symptoms of inattention.
• Combined People with combined ADHD display symptoms of inattention, hyperactivity and impulsivity. The is the most common subset of ADHD.

Learn more about the three different types of ADHD.

Gender differences with ADHD

ADHD is more commonly diagnosed in boys than girls, but research into ADHD in adulthood suggests an almost equal balance between men and women. A lower diagnosis rate among females in childhood can result because girls with ADHD are more likely than boys to have the inattentive form of ADHD and less likely to show obvious problems.

More than half of children who experience ADHD in childhood continue to have symptoms as adults. Some women only recognize their ADHD after a child has been diagnosed and the woman begins to see similar behavior in herself. Other women seek treatment because their lives spin out of control, financially, at work or at home.

ADHD treatment

While treatment won't cure ADHD, it can help a great deal with symptoms. Treatment typically involves medications and behavioral interventions. Early diagnosis and treatment can make a big difference in outcome.

It's also important to work with a therapist who specializes in ADHD to learn coping mechanisms that are nonpharmacological to help with ADHD symptoms and behaviors. A therapist can enhance the effectiveness of the medication and give tools to empower those with ADHD using treatments that may involve behavioral, psychological, social, educational and lifestyle interventions.

Behavioral strategies

Here are five behavioral strategies to help manage your child's adhd:, 1. give praise and rewards when rules are followed..

Children with ADHD often receive and expect criticism more so than other children. This can really impact self-esteem. Some days, you might have to really look for the good behavior, but you should praise good behavior at least five times more often than you criticize bad behavior.

2. Give clear, effective directions or commands.

Make eye contact or gently touch on arm or shoulder to get his or her attention. Give brief, simple steps and short commands that get to the point rather than multiple directions or wordy statements and questions.

3. Establish healthy habits.

If your child is on a medication, it should be taken as prescribed. Contact your child's health care provider if problems arise. Make sure your child is getting enough sleep, eating a well-balanced diet consisting of three meals, a snack and adequate fluids daily, and has an outlet for some form of daily exercise. These healthy habits will help your child to feel his or her best and help minimize ADHD symptoms.

4. Develop routines around homework and chores.

Work together to make a checklist of what needs to be done surrounding daily chores, getting ready for bed and school for your child to refer to when he or she gets off task. Encourage your child to use a daily planner so he or she is aware of all homework assignments. Have an established time and location for homework, and use a timer to remind your child to show you how the homework is going two to four times per hour. Factor in brain breaks if your child needs them and movement between tasks or use of an appropriate fidget.

5. Help your child build relationships, strong social skills and maintain friendships.

Be a good role model of behavior you want your child to use. Factor in some special time three to five days a week with your child that is conflict-free and does not involve a screen to help maintain a strong parent-child relationship. Help your child develop at least one close friendship. With younger children, parents may need to take the lead to arrange and host play dates or get kids involved in activities where there are kids the same age. Get tips for helping your child develop social skills .

Amanda Logan is a nurse practitioner in Family Medicine  in Waseca , Minnesota.

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How to Get a Child with ADD to do Homework

Homework can be tricky for children with ADHD, especially after they’ve spent all day at school.

When children come home from school, they want to play, spend time with their friends and family, or watch TV. Homework is simply not something most children are excited about, but most kids are willing to do it because they have accepted that it is a requirement and there will be negative consequences if it is not completed.  

Unfortunately, it is often difficult for children with ADHD to sustain their focus long enough to do their homework, making them resigned to the negative consequences of not completing their work.

This is because the ADHD child’s brain is “stuck” in a certain pattern of dysregulation that doesn’t allow them to sustain concentration on non-stimulating tasks or perform certain executive functioning tasks, such as planning, organizing, and prioritizing their assignments. In a way, ADHD children are physically incapable of self-regulating and performing certain tasks because their brain won’t allow them to engage with the task.

However, with the right homework plan, it is possible to help motivate ADHD children to complete their assignments on time, study for tests, and become responsible, successful students. While completing schoolwork will likely always be more difficult due to their struggles with focus, there are strategies that can help mitigate this weakness and maximize their available resources to increase their productivity.

In this article, we will cover some effective ADD homework strategies for children that can improve their study habits. This article will also discuss the Drake Institute’s non-drug treatment protocols used to help children reduce or resolve ADHD symptoms by achieving a healthier state of brain functioning, resulting in long-term symptom relief.

Diet for ADD

Learning how to study with ADD can be difficult, especially if your mind and body are not receiving the necessary resources for the brain to function optimally. That’s why providing children with a healthy and nutritious diet should be a top priority for every household, as diet is the foundation of productive thinking and behavior.

Without a healthy diet, children suffering from ADHD will find it even more difficult to concentrate on their schoolwork, and this is especially true if their diet consists of sugary soft drinks, candy, and processed fast foods. Indeed, if your child is not eating a healthy, well-balanced diet, they are more prone to misbehaving and performing poorly on their assigned tasks.

For parents with ADHD children, avoiding processed foods loaded with artificial colorings and high sugar content should be a top priority, as both of these ingredients can have detrimental effects on behavior and health.

As a general guideline, ADHD diets should consist of essential trace minerals such as Zinc, Iron, and Magnesium. Foods that are heavy in these minerals include:

• Beef & Lamb
• Nuts such as cashews, pecans, almonds, walnuts, peanuts, and hazelnuts
• Sesame seeds
• Beans & Lentils
• Low-Fat Dairy
• Dried fruits such as figs, prunes, apricots, dates, and raisins

Parents should also take great care to ensure that their children are eating enough healthy fats, as every cell in the human body (including our brain) is made up of fats, and some reports have shown that in some children, Omega-3 fatty acid supplementation is 40% as effective for ADHD as Ritalin, minus the side-effects. Healthy sources of Omega-3 fatty acids include:

• Coldwater fish (e.g., mackerel, tuna, salmon, and sardines)
• Cod liver oil
• Flaxseed and chia seeds
• Soybeans & Tofu

Even if your child doesn’t have ADD, providing them with a healthy diet is one of the best ways to ensure that they will grow up to be healthy and productive.

And when it comes to mitigating the effects of ADD and ADHD, we feel that the optimal method is to combine ADHD diets with clinical ADHD treatments, like brain map-guided neurofeedback, as nutritious diets can reinforce and maximize the improvements in brain functioning brought on by our non-drug treatment protocols. 

Create a Homework Schedule

When it comes to ADD and homework, creating a homework schedule is one of the best ways to improve a child’s productivity.

By creating a homework schedule, children will know exactly what they will be doing once they get home (so long as the schedule is enforced), so there’s no guesswork involved from either the parent or the child as to when the work will be completed. However, this doesn’t mean that there won’t be arguments about the schedule and whether it’s fair: children with ADD intrinsically struggle with non-preferred asks, and a homework schedule won’t make these issues magically disappear.

That being said, a homework schedule can help students be more disciplined and productive because, without it, most children would rather turn on the TV, play a video game, or browse social media instead of completing their homework. In children with ADD, these issues are exacerbated, as their ability to plan and organize their day (executive functioning) is already hindered due to their attention deficit disorder.  

When creating a homework schedule, remember to include breaks, as most children will need a few minutes to relax so that they can better focus on their work. Many researchers have pointed out that the average attention span of children and adults is only around 20 minutes. Beyond this point, it becomes increasingly difficult to pay attention to the task at hand. So, by giving children a brief, 5-10 minute break, they will be better able to focus on their assignments without becoming too tired or fatigued.

Knowing when to schedule these homework breaks will require a bit of trial and error, as every child is different. However, including a break as part of the schedule somewhere around the 20 or 30-minute mark is generally a good place to start. During these scheduled breaks, it would be a good idea to have healthy snacks readily available to ensure that your child has enough energy to power through their assignments. Parents should encourage children to stand up and walk around during these breaks, but to avoid activities that are too stimulating or too far away from the task at hand.

Finally, there are two other important aspects to creating a homework schedule that parents should keep in mind: place and time.

In general, it’s a good idea to have a designated “homework space” for your child to work in that is free of distractions. As part of the schedule, the child should work in this space each day since this will help the child get into a “work mode” that allows them to concentrate on their tasks.

Time is the last aspect of creating a homework schedule, and this too will require a little bit of trial and error. In some cases, your child may need a break from schoolwork and might not be ready to jump into their homework as soon as they come home. Instead, they may need to go outside and play or go on a long walk before they can re-engage with their schoolwork. On the other hand, many children are more than willing to dive straight into their homework as soon as they get home so that they can watch TV later in the day or play video games with their friends.

In the end, it’s up to the parents to determine when “homework time” will begin, and once the time is set, everyone must abide.  

Monitor Distractions

From smartphones to televisions, there are a whole host of things fighting for your child’s attention.

As mentioned, part of the solution to this problem is to create a “homework space” that is free of distractions; however, this doesn’t necessarily guarantee that your child will be more productive.

Sometimes, your child might feel “alone” or “claustrophobic” in a workspace that is too sterile or boring, which can actually decrease their ability to concentrate. 

As many of us can attest, sometimes we need a “slight” distraction while working or performing schoolwork, like listening to the radio or having the TV on in the background, as these things can provide stimulation that helps some children to concentrate.

However, even background noise can be distracting for some students, especially if they have ADD. This is why parents need to monitor the effects of these distractions to see whether they improve or decrease productivity. Furthermore, while background noise may be beneficial for some people, individuals with ADHD will likely have a lower threshold for what is “too distracting.” For example, having the TV on is likely to be entirely too distracting for individuals with ADHD, and they will likely have better success if background noise consists of things such as music, ambient sounds, or even white noise.

If your child seems to work better while listening to music, then this “distraction” should be fully integrated into the homework schedule.

Be Present During Homework

Being there for your child when they’re working on their homework can be critically important to their success, especially when a difficult problem comes up.

By being present, children are less likely to become frustrated or to give up when they encounter a problem that they can’t solve because they know that they can turn to you for support.

Try setting a good example and sitting with your child reading a book, a magazine, or doing some other quiet, sedentary activity that is similar to studying and doing homework, proving to your child that it’s possible to sit still and focus for an extended period of time. Don’t forget to leave your smartphone behind!

If you can’t be there during “typical” (early afternoon) homework hours, you might want to consider trying to align your child’s homework schedule with your work schedule so that you can be there to help when they do need it. Being able to provide support to your child during a task that is challenging to them can be crucial to their success. Even if you are not actively providing guidance, simply knowing that someone is there to support them can be invaluable in maintaining their focus, motivation, and self-confidence.

Find a Study Buddy

When a child with ADD gets stuck on a homework problem, they’re likely to get frustrated, which in turn can cause them to misbehave.

In many cases, a parent can help their child work through a difficult homework problem, but sometimes having a “study buddy” will be even more effective, especially if the children are friendly and have academic strengths that complement each other.

However, it’s also important that parents ensure that their child is studying when with their study buddy, as sometimes this arrangement can cause children to goof around and not take their homework seriously. There also has to be some monitoring to make sure they are not simply being provided with answers by their partner. While this partnership may not be appropriate for everyone, for those who can work through these “temptations,” the benefits of such an arrangement can be significant.

This isn’t to say that parents should hover over their child when they’re with their study buddy, but monitoring the rate at which homework is being completed and its correctness will be important when determining the effectiveness of the study buddy.

That being said, if the homework is taking a little bit longer to be completed, but it’s being done correctly, and your child is happy about doing it, then that’s a tradeoff that might be worth making.

Provide Positive Feedback

Something that often gets overlooked is positive feedback for turning in assignments on time, receiving high marks, and abiding by the homework schedule.

Positive feedback is also often the best answer to the question of “how to get kids to do their homework,” as both children and adults like attention and rewards, and will alter their behavior to earn more of them.

However, obtaining attention can be accomplished in a variety of ways—not all of which are healthy and productive.

This is especially true when it comes to completing schoolwork: if your child makes an effort to adhere to their homework schedule and to achieve good grades, but isn’t rewarded, they will have less incentive to continue behaving in this manner. While it is tempting for parents to view this behavior as simply “doing what they are supposed to be doing,” there needs to be an acknowledgement that for individuals with ADHD, as this is an accomplishment that likely took significant effort. That additional effort is an accomplishment for these children and should be acknowledged and rewarded.

Therefore, it would be wise to reward your child for good behavior, especially behavior that results in positive grades at school.

Many parents have found success using a star chart that keeps track of their child’s weekly progress, where these stars can be “cashed in” for a reward of some kind, like extra time for playing video games or perhaps a snack of their choosing. How these stars are rewarded is up to the child’s parents, but it’s probably best to be a little lenient to incentivize homework and positive behavior.

For example, completing a homework assignment might be worth 1 star, but completing the homework correctly might be worth 2 or 3 stars. Extra stars can also be rewarded for other, non-homework related tasks, like taking adequate notes in class, remembering to bring the correct books home from school, and keeping their study materials (notebooks, binders, etc.) tidy. 

Talk to the Teacher

Finally, if your child is still struggling to complete their homework despite adhering to a homework schedule and everything else mentioned above, it might be time to talk to their teacher.

Some teachers will be more than willing to adjust the amount of homework your child is receiving on a day-to-day basis, so long as the problem is presented clearly, calmly, and without placing any blame on the teacher.

In addition to not placing blame, it’s probably best to discuss your child’s struggles in a face-to-face conversation, as too many things can get lost in translation over the phone, through emails or text messages.

When discussing your child’s struggles with homework, it’s important to mention how your child is trying as hard as they can to complete their assignments, but despite these efforts, the homework is taking an inordinate amount of time. Make sure to discuss all of the structure and accommodations being provided at home and be open to the teacher’s suggestions of things that may provide additional benefit for the child.

When this occurs, some teachers will allow parents to sign off on homework once the child has worked on it for a certain amount of time. Other teachers might substitute the current homework for something else that might be more suitable for your child’s needs. Accommodations can also be formally provided by requesting an IEP or 504 plan that addresses these concerns.

In short, conversations with your child’s teacher should be solution-oriented, face-to-face, friendly, and focused on improving your child’s academic performance, while still requiring them to perform at the best of their abilities.

ADD Treatment Options

When it comes to treating ADD, there are a few options available to parents, including stimulant ADD medications , and non-drug treatment options like the ones found at the Drake Institute.

Treatment of ADD or ADHD with medication is a widely used treatment option, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s the best in terms of safety and long-term improvement. Many stimulant ADD medications carry a significant number of negative side effects, including:

• Nervousness
• Change in personality
• Loss of appetite
• Suppressing growth rate
• Weight loss
• Upset stomach
• Psychotic reactions
• increase in blood pressure and palpitations
• Risk of substance abuse

In addition, many people develop a tolerance for these medications over time, which results in the individual needing a higher dosage to obtain the same level of symptom reduction. Unfortunately, when the dosage of these medications increases, so does the likelihood that they will experience one or more of the negative side effects associated with the medication. It should also be noted, that treating attentional deficits with medications is not necessarily correcting the cause of the problem, meaning that if an individual were to discontinue these medications, their symptoms are likely to return.

Popular ADD medications include Ritalin, Adderall, Vyvanse, and Dexedrine, and while these drugs can work for some people, parents must understand all of the associated risks.

Non-Drug ADD Treatment at the Drake Institute

Learning how to study when you have ADD doesn’t require taking medications.

At the Drake Institute, we fully believe that children can experience symptom reduction without the use of ADHD medications, which is important since many of these medications carry a significant number of negative side effects.

Through the use of advanced treatment technologies such as qEEG Brain Mapping, Neurofeedback, and Neuromodulation, children can actually improve their brain functioning and sustained focus, resulting in better performance at school and work.

Brain Mapping

At the core of everything we do at the Drake Institute is Brain Mapping , as it provides us a window into how the patient’s brain is functioning and where the dysregulation is occurring.

In the case of ADD, brain mapping can help identify which parts of the brain are under or over-activated and contributing to the child’s struggles with school. During treatment, we’ll target these regions to improve brain functioning, which can help minimize the effects of the child’s attention disorder.

Once brain mapping is complete, the findings are compared to the FDA-registered normative database to identify which regions are deviating from “normal” activity patterns.

When dysregulation is discovered, a treatment protocol using Neurofeedback and Neuromodulation is designed specifically for the patient’s unique situation. This customized process allows us to provide better results compared to treatment protocols that use a “one size fits all” approach. It should also be noted that by addressing their underlying cause of the child’s difficulties, the subsequent improvements obtained through neurotherapy are typically long-lasting and do not require continued maintenance, like medications do.

Biofeedback & Neurofeedback

Biofeedback and Neurofeedback treatment is a non-invasive, non-drug treatment protocol that helps the patient retrain the brain to more optimal functioning, thus increasing their ability to complete homework or other assigned tasks.

During Neurofeedback treatment, the brain is not artificially stimulated and drugs are not administered; in fact, nothing invasive is performed at all.

Instead, Neurofeedback involves placing sensors on the patient’s head that records and displays the patient’s current brain functioning patterns, providing real-time feedback into how their brain is operating. When patients can witness firsthand how their brain is functioning, they are better able to self-regulate and improve brain functioning for concentration, which in turns, helps reduce the manifestation of negative symptoms.

One example of Neurofeedback treatment is one where the patient’s brainwave patterns are converted into a computer game where a car is driving down the highway. When the patient’s brain shifts into a healthier functioning frequency, the car moves and stays in the proper lane and an auditory tone is triggered. This tone is then repeated every half second that the patient sustains this healthier mode of thinking, which helps improve and stabilize this brave wave pattern.

With continued treatment, Neurofeedback treatments like the one described above will help the patient learn how to improve sustained focus on even nonpreferred tasks. Furthermore, with practice and repetition, the underlying dysregulation that caused the child’s difficulties can actually be improved, resulting in a “stronger” brain and long-lasting benefit.

Neuromodulation

Finally, the Drake Institute utilizes Neuromodulation therapy to support, enhance, and accelerate therapeutic improvements gained through Neurofeedback. This approach has been so successful that we’ve fully integrated it into our existing treatment protocols in 2019.

What is Neuromodulation?

In short, Neuromodulation provides therapeutic neurostimulation of dysregulated brain functioning by stimulating brainwave patterns that the patient is deficient in. Once established, the brain can then mimic or emulate this pattern to form healthier brain wave activity. This treatment protocol can also increase blood flow in damaged areas and reduce inflammation.

This treatment technology is so safe and effective that it is now used worldwide in renowned medical centers such as Harvard University School of Medicine, Mayo Clinic, UCLA School of Medicine, and many others.

Contact the Drake Institute

If your child is struggling with their schoolwork due to ADD or ADHD, please don’t hesitate to call us for a free consultation. Our non-drug treatment protocols have provided many students with long-term symptom relief, helping them to achieve and go farther in school than they ever have before.

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"They started biofeedback right away to produce more alpha brain waves. I went daily for 4 weeks I believe? It was relaxing. My brain learned what to do. It CURED me."

"The treatment involves doing different protocols, you start to notice a difference after a couple weeks. The Drake Institute, and their treatment method is the way of the future! It absolutely was an answer to our prayers."

"I was hesitant to go to The Drake Institute but was at a loss on how to help my son. I can not thank Drake and Maria enough I don't think we would be where we are today without it."

“David F. Velkoff, M.D., our Medical Director and co-founder, supervises all evaluation procedures and treatment programs. He is recognized as a physician pioneer in using biofeedback, qEEG brain mapping, neurofeedback, and neuromodulation in the treatment of ADHD, Autism Spectrum Disorders, and stress related illnesses including anxiety, depression, insomnia, and high blood pressure. Dr. David Velkoff earned his Master’s degree in Psychology from the California State University at Los Angeles in 1975, and his Doctor of Medicine degree from Emory University School of Medicine in Atlanta in 1976. This was followed by Dr. Velkoff completing his internship in Obstetrics and Gynecology with an elective in Neurology at the University of California Medical Center in Irvine. He then shifted his specialty to Neurophysical Medicine and received his initial training in biofeedback/neurofeedback in Neurophysical Medicine from the leading doctors in the world in biofeedback at the renown Menninger Clinic in Topeka, Kansas. In 1980, he co-founded the Drake Institute of Neurophysical Medicine. Seeking to better understand the link between illness and the mind, Dr. Velkoff served as the clinical director of an international research study on psychoneuroimmunology with the UCLA School of Medicine, Department of Microbiology and Immunology, and the Pasteur Institute in Paris. This was a follow-up study to an earlier clinical collaborative effort with UCLA School of Medicine demonstrating how the Drake Institute's stress treatment resulted in improved immune functioning of natural killer cell activity. Dr. Velkoff served as one of the founding associate editors of the scientific publication, Journal of Neurotherapy. He has been an invited guest lecturer at Los Angeles Children's Hospital, UCLA, Cedars Sinai Medical Center-Thalians Mental Health Center, St. John's Hospital in Santa Monica, California, and CHADD. He has been a medical consultant in Neurophysical Medicine to CNN, National Geographic Channel, Discovery Channel, Univision, and PBS.”

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Health Issues

ADHD and Homework

Our eleven-year-old daughter, who has been diagnosed with inattentive-type ADHD, has been doing better since she began treatment with stimulant medication. However, we still have trouble getting her organized around homework. We have tried setting up an office in her room, taking away all the distractions, keeping the area quiet, and not allowing the television to go on until all her homework is done. We don’t seem to be making much progress and, in fact, we are all getting even more frustrated because nothing seems to work. Her teachers still complain that work is not getting turned in, and her grades are still suffering in spite of her teacher always telling us how bright she is.

There is no one-size-fits-all solution to the ideal homework setting. Some children with ADHD work inefficiently in an isolated, quiet setting like their room, and do better in the midst of some action, like at the kitchen table with a radio playing. You might need to try a few different settings until you find the most efficient one.

In addition, you might need to figure out if any other factors are making homework difficult. Think about all the steps involved. Does your child know what all the assignments are? Does she bring the materials home that are necessary for doing the work? Does she have a nightly work plan that fits with her learning style? (She might need to schedule breaks between math and English, or between outlining the report and writing the first 3 paragraphs.) Does she have a system to check on whether all the nightly work is done? Is there a system for checking that her completed work gets turned in on the due date? How does she or you know that work is late? Have you or her teacher set up rewards for progress or consequences for late work? Is there a system for her teacher to communicate with you about late work?

Once you have gone through this type of systematic list of questions, you can begin to solve the problem in an organized way—and you might discover some simple and obvious solutions. If she is taking stimulant medication and she does her homework primarily at a time after it has worn off, you could consider a short-acting extended dose of medication for the early evening.

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10 Tips for Helping Students With ADHD Get Organized

Ann-Louise T. Lockhart, PsyD, ABPP, is a board-certified pediatric psychologist, parent coach, author, speaker, and owner of A New Day Pediatric Psychology, PLLC.

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If your child has Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder ( ADHD ) you may be very familiar with their tendency to lose assignments somewhere between school and home, to forget to bring books home, to turn in school work late, and to have a chaotically stuffed backpack. And somehow, even after providing boxes of them, there is no pencil to be found when needed.

Kids with ADHD sometimes get labeled as irresponsible, careless, or lazy. This criticism is not only inaccurate and unhelpful but hurtful.

Chronic disorganization can be debilitating to people with ADHD. Disorganization and forgetfulness are actually both included among the criteria for diagnosing ADHD . Impairments in these areas are often related to executive function deficits that make it harder to plan ahead, remember, prioritize, get started, self-monitor, and complete tasks.

Kids with ADHD often need a lot of structure and support to help with organization , but they can develop good organizational habits early on with your assistance. The first and most important step in helping your child with the organization at school is to work closely and collaboratively with your child's teacher. Good communication between home and school is essential.

Organizational Strategies for School-Aged Kids With ADHD

Here are some tips for helping students with ADHD develop good organizational habits:

• Work with your child to set up a specially designated study area at home that is free of distractions. This workspace should be kept well-organized. Help your child do this by leading them through the steps necessary to keep the area neat and clear of unnecessary items. Know that you will need to supervise your child and help them through this process on a regular basis. Make this a part of your daily routine.
• Provide useful supplies , such as pencils, pens, paper, ruler, paper clips, pencil sharpener, dictionary, calculator, etc. Label drawers in the study area desk or table and help your child place supplies in the designated drawer.
• Work with your child's teacher to set up a system for getting assignments down in a notebook . This documentation will travel back and forth from school to home with your child. This assignment notebook/folder should include a calendar or planner that can be used to keep track of longer-term projects due dates and test dates. Review this calendar regularly with your child. Use the calendar to help your child break down longer projects into smaller segments. Keep in mind that you may need to be creative with your child to help them find a system that works.
• Ask the teacher to offer support by gently reminding your child when it is time to write assignments in a notebook. This step ensures that they understand the assignments and checking to see that the assignments are written down correctly in a notebook. At the end of the school day, it is also helpful for the teacher to check to see that appropriate books, papers, and the homework notebook make it into your child's book bag.
• If your child has difficulty with handwriting, ask the teacher about giving your child a printed handout of daily assignments that can be included in the homework notebook. Even better if the teacher can provide handouts that have already had three holes punched out in advance and the handouts can be placed directly into the homework notebook.
• At the end of homework time before the next school day, review homework papers and books that need to go back into their book bag for school. Supervise your child as they get these items zipped inside the book bag and placed in a designated spot near the door to the house. This way the book bag can easily be found in the morning.
• Ask the teacher about scheduling regular times for your child to organize and clean out their desk and locker at school. Be sure to schedule regular times for your child to clean out school backpack and notebooks at home, as well. Understand that your child will need supervision and help with these chores. Guiding your child through these steps and practicing these skills, again and again, is necessary in order for good habits to form.
• Designate areas of the desk or locker for specific items. You can even "draw out" these areas with tape to indicate where items should go—for example, notebooks, books, folders, writing utensils, etc. This will make it easier to place items back in the right spot so they can be found when needed.
• Purchase a set of color-coded book covers, notebooks, and folders for each subject area . Your child can organize their work by colors. For example, they may choose red for math, yellow for language arts, green for science, etc. Share with the teacher so they can support your child in using this system as well. The teacher can even highlight handouts for each subject by using the corresponding color somewhere on the page.
• Set up a motivating reward system to positively reinforce your child as they show improvements in developing more and more organizational skills in their daily life.

Magnus W, Nazir S, Anilkumar AC, et al. Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) In: StatPearls [Internet]. Treasure Island (FL): StatPearls Publishing,

Iseman J, Jeweler S, Silverman S. 101 School Success Tools for Students with ADHD . Sourcebooks, Inc.; 2010.

By Keath Low  Keath Low, MA, is a therapist and clinical scientist with the Carolina Institute for Developmental Disabilities at the University of North Carolina. She specializes in treatment of ADD/ADHD.

How Parents Can Help Children Who Struggle with Homework

A s a parent, it’s tough to see your child struggle with homework, and, of course, you feel the need to help. However, helping your child too much can make them dependent on you, so it’s important to know where to draw the line. The best approach is to help your child improve their study habits and skills so that they will have fewer problems with homework. 

Ways to help your child overcome their struggle with homework 

Help your child develop a positive attitude toward learning .

As adults, we resent being forced to do things we don’t want to do and our children are no different. Kids who have a negative attitude toward learning are more likely to struggle with homework. A simple way to help your child develop a positive attitude toward learning is to show them what’s in it for them.

For instance, if your child dreams of becoming a pilot, you can make a colorful flowchart showing how studying hard now can help her achieve her goals. Even if your child doesn’t know what she wants to become when she grows up, you can show her that there are endless possibilities if she studies diligently. This will provide your child with an incentive to learn, which will help to reduce issues with homework. 

Establish a daily homework routine 

A daily homework routine is very important as it sends your child the message that schoolwork is top priority. It is best to start this routine when your child is still young so that he or she will adjust to it and is less likely to struggle with homework issues later on. It is best to schedule homework time before TV or gaming time, and make sure that your child understands that they will not be allowed to watch TV or get on their phones until their homework is finished. 

Create a workspace for homework  

Think of your cubicle at work – it limits distractions, yet allows you to have a quick word with a team member when necessary – which is exactly what your child requires. If your child is struggling with their homework, they are more likely to get distracted. This is why a dedicated workspace is so important.

When deciding on the location of your child’s workspace consider if it’s going to be free of noise and distractions. For instance, don’t set up your child’s workspace in the living room if other family members will be watching TV during that time. 

Create a homework strategy that works for them 

A homework strategy will help your child track and complete multiple assignments without feeling overwhelmed by the workload. Some kids prefer to start with easier homework assignments and then move on to the tougher ones while others prefer to complete the more difficult tasks first.

A simple but effective way to help your child overcome their struggle with homework is to let your child experiment with multiple strategies until they find one that works. Younger kids have shorter attention spans so let your child take a five-minute break between assignments if necessary. 

And, for every age, if study periods run long, incorporate “ brain breaks .” We actually become less productive when we sit too long. A short break allows us to re-focus, destress, and work more effectively. (Pick up our Energizing Brain Breaks Printable for Kids here .)

Use multisensory techniques and study aids  

Researchers have found evidence that students learn a new concept more easily when it is taught using multiple modalities such as sight, hearing, and touch. For instance, when teaching your child a new word, tell him or her to say the word out loud while tracing it in salt or cornmeal using their fingertips. They should repeat this process several times, and then use a pencil to write down the word. This is especially helpful for tricky sight word for kids that don’t follow phonetic patterns. Engaging multiple senses in the learning process will make it easier for your child to study and will reduce their struggle with homework.

Similarly, if your child is older and having trouble with fractions, you can use an apple to help them understand the concept. You can cut an apple into equal portions, and then use the pieces to explain fractions in an innovative and enjoyable manner. You can even let them eat the pieces each time they get the right answer. These simple study aids will help to make learning fun for your child and help them overcome homework problems.

It’s equally important to pinpoint the root cause of homework issues, as it might just be a temporary problem. For instance, if your child has been sick with the flu, they may not have their usual energy, in which case, you can step in and help. Similarly, if your child is prone to seasonal allergies, they might find it tougher to focus during summer or fall, which would affect their studies. You can experiment with several natural ways to treat seasonal allergies in order to help your child recover quickly. 

Any mental stressors are important to address as well. Consult a professional for serious concerns, of course, but every child can benefit from mindfulness activities .

Parents, do you have any other ideas to help children who struggle with homework? Leave us a comment.

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April 30, 2024

ADHD’s Hidden Benefits Can Be ‘Awesome’

A new book by Penn and Kim Holderness seeks to correct misconceptions about ADHD and accentuate the plus side of the condition

By Clara Moskowitz

Penn and Kim Holderness hold their new book, ADHD Is Awesome .

Samantha Pressman

The stereotype of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is someone, often a young boy, who can’t focus and can’t sit still. And there are certainly people who fit that description. But the condition often presents very differently—for instance, some people with ADHD have a tendency to sit for hours and focus on a project to the point that they forget to eat and ignore the world around them. In that case, ADHD can be more about an overabundance of focus rather than a deficit. And many with ADHD—especially girls, who tend to go undiagnosed —aren’t hyperactive at all.

A new book, ADHD Is Awesome: A Guide to (Mostly) Thriving with ADHD (Harper Horizon, 2024), by Penn and Kim Holderness, aims to update the conversation about ADHD and point out the benefits along with the challenges. “ADHD is a superpower,” says Penn Holderness, who sees many benefits of his own ADHD diagnosis, including a special ability to concentrate on things he’s interested in, solve problems and be creative . He and his wife, Kim Holderness, have gained fame for creating popular online videos about family life, many of which showcase aspects of ADHD. Penn struggles with remembering daily tasks—and sometimes leaves his keys in the refrigerator. But he and Kim also credit his ADHD superfocus for their 2022 win in the CBS reality competition The Amazing Race, which required them to solve puzzles, assemble musical instruments and complete detailed memory tests, among other challenges, during a trip around the world.

Scientific American spoke to the Holdernesses about ADHD perception versus reality, ways to support loved ones with the condition and how ADHD helped them win $1 million.

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[ An edited transcript of the conversation follows. ]

What do you hope people get out of the book?

PENN HOLDERNESS: I hope people get that they’re not alone and they’re not broken. There’s nothing inherently wrong with them. If they have ADHD, they actually have a pretty fantastic brain—a very unique brain—and the world would be very boring without all of us.

They didn’t have this book when I was a kid. I can’t go back in time and give this book to myself, the kid who struggled and wondered why he was so weird. We’ve gone on a journey to discover what ADHD really is because even those who have it don’t always really understand it unless they take a deep dive into it. Once you realize what it is, you can quickly discover that there are some wonderful traits to this, as long as you put systems in place to manage the rough stuff.

Tell me more about this superfocused state associated with ADHD that you sometimes find yourself in.

PENN HOLDERNESS: The extra focus, which is also known as hyperfocus, is the ability to really hammer down and knock out of the park one specific thing. [YouTuber and ADHD advocate] Jessica McCabe [EM1] wrote another book about ADHD, and she says that the three things that ADHDers do well on are things that are difficult, new and of personal interest. So if there’s something that is of personal interest to you and that is new and challenging, you can be exceptional at that.

KIM HOLDERNESS: From an outsider’s perspective, Penn will be editing something, and editing videos and creating music is a personal interest to him. He’ll be here for eight hours, and he will not have eaten. He will not have gone to the bathroom. It’s like this flow state that is pretty amazing to witness. His brain can just lock in to a challenge.

What do you think are the biggest misconceptions about ADHD?

PENN HOLDERNESS: People have said to me, “I think COVID gave me ADHD.” I understand that sentiment because there were a lot of people getting hooked on screen time and a lot of new sorts of distractions, such as Zoom meetings, that are rough on people with ADHD. But I think it’s important that people know that it’s not something that’s acquired. It is the way that your brain was at birth. Now it’s very possible that during COVID people realized that they had ADHD, but it’s the way that you are wired, not the way that you are behaving.

KIM HOLDERNESS: And it’s not the way you were raised. Too much screen time is not going to give you ADHD. And women and members of minority groups are historically underdiagnosed. I think so many women were white-knuckling it, and then maybe in the pandemic something happened that made them aware enough to get tested.

Kim, what tips do you have for supporting someone with ADHD if you’re their spouse, parent, friend or family member?

KIM HOLDERNESS: I have had to do a lot of work on this because I am a perfectionist. I think everything is very black and white, and I love rules. You turn on the stove, so you would obviously turn it off; your keys go on the hook; you put the dishes in the dishwasher. That makes sense to me. And it took me a while to understand Penn wasn’t forgetting these things on purpose. But in his brain, it didn’t enter his working memory that he had turned the stove on because he was doing five things that morning. He was getting homework in the backpacks, he was making himself coffee, he was feeding the dog, and he had turned the stove on, and that step didn’t enter his memory. So he left it on and left the house. If I jump down his throat and say, “You nearly burned the house down!” he already knows that, and he’s already feeling great shame. So the thing is, connect, don’t correct. I try to just offer sympathy. I’m not saying, “Oh, it’s just your ADHD. Don’t worry about it.” We always say, “ADHD is an explanation; it’s not an excuse.” But I am saying, “Wow, that really sucks. I am so sorry that happened. That could have been scary.” It sounds so simple, but it was so hard for me to really accept.

Tell me more about how you think ADHD helped you win TheAmazing Race and its $1-million prize.

PENN HOLDERNESS: The Amazing Race created this kind of perfect tunnel vision spot for somebody like me because I’m interested in $1 million, and they purposefully make it as difficult as possible to try to trip you up all the time, and it is absolutely new—going out and seeing the world and going to all these new places and doing all these new challenges. So my brain was able to slip into hyperfocus very easily. What also helped was I had one job. There weren’t a lot of things competing for my attention, with the exception of beautiful scenery everywhere, which I did have a little trouble with.

KIM HOLDERNESS: He really is the reason we won in so many challenges because he was the one who could, like, put a mule’s harness on or do these other weird tasks. But with my brain, I was seeing the other teams, I was seeing the camerapeople, I was seeing the mountains we were in—I was seeing everything. And he was able to narrow it down in a way that was pretty cool to see.

Have you found that most doctors and scientists are on the same page with this idea that ADHD doesn’t necessarily mean something’s wrong with you and that it actually has benefits?

PENN HOLDERNESS: I think science has a pretty good bead on how it works. There are lots of great people who have learned and explained and discovered these things. But science doesn’t necessarily know how to explain it to people.

KIM HOLDERNESS: Science needs a better marketing team. And that’s what we’re trying to do. They say, “Write the book you need,” right? And our family personally needed this book. As we were doing interviews for this book and reading all the research on it, [we saw that] there are so many brilliant people out there doing the work. I think they needed bigger microphones, and they needed a better way of explaining it to the rest of us. I think that the simpler we can put the language around it, it’ll just help the rest of us to catch up.

ADHD Noise Sensitivity: Sensory Differences In Neurodivergent Children And Adults

Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is commonly classified as a neurodevelopmental disorder and a form of neurodiversity. Neurodiversity generally refers to a difference in cognitive and sensory processing that varies from what might be considered “neurotypical” or what might fit into social norms. 

People who identify as neurodivergent and those living with ADHD may be at a higher risk of sensory challenges, including noise sensitivity. Those experiencing challenges with noise sensitivity may benefit from using noise-canceling headphones, avoiding loud environments, and trying exposure therapy or cognitive-behavioral therapy.

Understanding ADHD and neurodiversity

Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder is categorized in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-V) as a neurodevelopmental disorder. 

However, some people identify with the neurodiversity model of ADHD, believing that ADHD symptoms are the result of brain differences in processing, cognition, and sensory connections. This model suggests that difficulties experienced by neurodivergent individuals may be due to living in a world that does not accommodate neurodivergent brains. 

The DSM-V lists three subtypes of ADHD , including primarily inattentive (ADHD-PI), hyperactive-impulsive (ADHD-HI), and combined type. Symptoms of ADHD-PI often include a lack of focus, difficulty remaining engaged in tasks, forgetting essential items, and experiencing memory difficulties. 

People with ADHD-HI may display impulsive behavior, difficulty sitting still, a tendency to interrupt others, and frequently switching between tasks. People with combined type ADHD may have some symptoms from each of the other subtypes. 

Studies have found that sensory difficulties tend to present more often in individuals with ADHD than in those without, although updated evidence may be needed. However, this symptom is not listed as an official criterion for diagnosis.  

What is noise sensitivity in ADHD? 

Some individuals with ADHD may experience noise sensitivity, which can take several forms, including the following: 

• Misophonia: Certain sounds cause anger or significant irritation  
• Phonophobia: Certain sounds cause anxiety or fear 
• Recruitment: Struggles to adjust between different levels of sound 
• Hyperacusis: Difficulty coping with sounds that others may find “normal” or non-bothersome, such as sounds in one’s environment 

Several studies have been done on the connection between noise sensitivity and ADHD. One 2015 study found that inattention in ADHD usually worsened when adults with the disorder were exposed to heightened background noise. 

In some cases, noise sensitivity in ADHD may have positive impacts. For example, a 2014 study found that white noise could improve the academic performance and focus of adolescents with ADHD during reading and writing activities. 

Noise sensitivity may be more frequently connected to autism spectrum disorder (ASD) than ADHD. However, it is estimated that 50% to 70% of Autistic individuals also have ADHD. For this reason, some people with ADHD and autism may have elevated sensory challenges compared to those with ADHD alone. 

Sensory experiences and neurodivergence 

Neurodivergent individuals, like those living with ADHD and autism spectrum disorder, may be at risk of more sensitive sensory perception. Below are some of the other ways ADHD may impact the senses. 

According to studies, children with ADHD may have more difficulty processing tactile sensations due to impairment in the central processing of “somatosensory information,” although updated research may be necessary. Hypersensitivity to touch was usually associated with higher anxiety in the study participants. 

Children with ADHD often have touch sensitivities related to having their hair brushed, feeling water on their faces, or experiencing minor injuries. Some kids may have less tactile connection. For example, they might not notice sticky substances on their skin or realize someone touched them to get their attention. 

A 2019 study found that people with ADHD may have improved visual-spatial skills compared to neurotypical individuals. ADHD was often associated with higher instances of visual memory, spatial relationships, sequential memory, and sequencing. 

There may be a connection between taste and texture sensitivity and ADHD. Children with ADHD often have food preferences due to sensory challenges. In one study, certain foods were found to cause heightened sensitivity and worsen symptoms. The study authors identified 27 food restrictions, and many of the participants had more than one food sensitivity. 

Olfactory (scent) deficits in individuals with ADHD may exist in individuals with the condition. In some cases, stimulant medication may normalize odor sensitivities. 

Consult a medical doctor before starting, changing, or stopping a medication for any condition. The information in this article is not a replacement for medical advice or diagnosis. 

How to cope with noise sensitivity

If you’re experiencing the negative impacts of noise sensitivity or another sensory challenge, below are some ways you might support yourself and cope. 

Consider noise-canceling headphones 

Noise-canceling headphones may reduce sensory overload caused by noise sensitivity. You can buy these headphones as a complete headset or discreet earbuds. These headphones are often designed to reduce sound by around 30 decibels or more. Some headphones block out all sounds, whereas others may block out background noise but allow you to hear your own voice and the people with whom you’re speaking. 

Avoid loud environments 

If you frequently become distressed in certain environments, you might avoid those locations. If you’re unable to avoid them, consider ways you might be able to accommodate yourself while you’re there. For example, if you struggle to cope at the mall because of the sound but want to be able to shop there, consider going early in the morning when there are fewer people. 

Consider exposure therapy with a licensed professional 

Some professionals recommend exposure and response prevention (ERP) therapy to cope with noise sensitivity. They posit that avoiding noises and attempting to block them out can increase one’s fear response to the noises. This modality might be especially effective for those living with misophonia , which typically involves an intolerance to sounds from other people. 

You can try exposure therapy with a licensed mental health professional trained in this modality. ERP is often practiced alongside cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), which may also be effective in helping individuals cope with sensory challenges. 

Prepare yourself ahead of time 

Preparing yourself for noise exposure may reduce the fear associated with it. For example, you might wear comfortable clothing, drink water, eat a nutritious meal, and get enough rest before going out to an event that may involve loud noises or other sensory difficulties. By caring for your body and ensuring your stress tolerance is high, you may be less likely to experience sensory overload, burnout, or a meltdown in public. 

Talk to a therapist

Whether you’re interested in trying exposure therapy or another modality, a therapist may be a helpful resource for coping with sensory challenges. In therapy, you can learn evidence-based practices for working through needs related to neurodiversity and attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder. 

In some cases, individuals with ADHD may have difficulty reaching out for help in their area due to barriers like financial challenges, difficulty making appointments, or heightened sensitivity to sensory input. In these cases, online therapy through a platform like BetterHelp may be more accessible. Clients may choose between phone, video, or live chat sessions and attend therapy from home or any location with an internet connection, which may reduce complications due to sound sensitivity.  

Studies usually support the effectiveness of online interventions for those living with ADHD. A 2022 study found that social function and attention were improved in approximately 95% of participants in an online therapy intervention targeted at managing ADHD symptoms. 

Sound sensitivity can be present in some people with ADHD and other neurodivergent individuals, especially those living with both ADHD and autism spectrum disorder. If you’re experiencing difficulties related to sensory processing, consider reaching out to a therapist online or in your area to explore treatment or management options for your symptoms. 

• ADHD Emotions: Exploring Emotional Dysregulation Medically reviewed by Nikki Ciletti , M.Ed, LPC
• Does ADHD Make Eye Contact Difficult? Medically reviewed by Nikki Ciletti , M.Ed, LPC
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Our Son Is Going to Be a Teen Dad. We’re Debating the Terms of His Punishment.

I can’t see past my rage..

Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column.  Have a question for Care and Feeding?  Submit it here .

Dear Care and Feeding,

I am incredibly disappointed in my son. He is 16 and was casually dating a girl and got her pregnant. We had done all of the things—had multiple conversations about sex, provided condoms once he was old enough, and talked about the importance of care and respect and (hopefully!) love before sex. And yet this happened.

We have a college fund for him, but now I don’t want to give it to him. For one thing, we’re now on the hook for child support we never budgeted for. We are financially comfortable but we saved for his college at the expense of our retirement, and at this point in our lives, we wanted to focus on saving for that. But I know I’m not seeing this clearly. I am so angry! He had one job—not to have a child himself—and he couldn’t do that. My husband thinks we should take the child support out of the college fund and let him have the remainder to help him pay for college. I know that he needs a post-secondary education, but I can’t see past my rage at his bad decision-making. Help!

—Unhappy (Oh My God) Grandma

Dear Grandma,

I’m sorry. I can imagine how upsetting this is. But there’s a lot you haven’t told me (like, anything about the young woman who’s pregnant, her family, her decision to keep the baby and how she’s planning to do that—on her own? Living with her parents, with their help?—or whether you have been told anything about a plan, and what role, if any, your son will be playing in his child’s life other than providing financial support). So I feel like I’m flying blind here. But I can tell you a few things for sure, and ask you some questions you’ll have to answer before moving forward.

First up: The fact that you’re going to be a grandmother prematurely, shocking as it is for you, is of less significance than the fact that your child is going to be a parent prematurely—and that the child who emerges at the end of this pregnancy is going to have teenaged parents, at least one of whom may not be a part of that child’s life except financially.

Second: This is a life-changing event. It is a many-lives -changing event. You need to take a breath and consider the big picture. And you need to be talking through that picture not only with your son and the mother of your future grandchild (whom you’ve barely mentioned), but also with the other set of grandparents.

Re your anger: Presumably your 16-year-old did not do this on purpose. When men and women—or boys and girls—have intercourse with each other, even when they reliably use condoms, pregnancy can result. Condoms are not 100 percent effective at preventing pregnancy. I’m not suggesting that you grill your child—or the other sets of parents’ child—about their use of contraceptives when they were dating (by the way, is that “casual” relationship over or not?), because obviously it’s too late for that—but both sets of parents might consider that their kids could use further education about contraceptives going forward.

Even if you know for sure that this pregnancy occurred because your son “forgot” to use a condom as instructed (it’s hard for me to picture him telling you that, but I guess one never knows), please keep in mind that he did not have “one job—not to have a child himself.” I mean, yes, he was supposed to avoid baby-making, and yes, I understand that you’re exaggerating for effect. But reducing his life to this ( this was the only thing that mattered and you screwed it up, you idiot ) does no one any good. His “job” was, and is, a lot more than that. I hope you know that. I hope you’re thinking, “Well, I didn’t mean that literally.” Then don’t say it, especially not to him.

Now, for that college fund: If refusing to let him have it means he won’t be able to go to college because there is no scenario in which he can afford to put himself through college (say, community college and then two years at the lowest possible cost four-year public institution) without going into crushing debt, you would be making sure his life continues to go awry from this point on. If punishing him by shutting down his future is the goal, then go for it. (If you even can! If this fund is a 529 plan, for example,  withdrawing funds for anything except education will cost you a tax penalty . If by “college fund” you mean money you’ve set aside for his education, in a separate account, that you’ve promised yourselves you wouldn’t touch because it’s money for college, then yeah, there’s nothing to stop you from spending it on whatever you want to. Whether this is an ethical choice I leave to you to decide.) But if you hope that the rest of his life will not be derailed by this accidental pregnancy, I urge you to use that “fund” as planned—though if I were you, I would direct him away from the priciest private colleges and toward the best public one he can get into. Any money that remains, if we’re talking about a 529 fund, can be used for his child’s education—i.e., the beneficiary can be changed.

I will say that I’m confused by your husband’s plan, since “child support” will go on for 18 years after the child’s birth. Does your husband mean to figure out what 18 years of child support will cost, take that out of what you’ve got in savings, and let your son have the rest for his education? Or does he want to pay child support only until your son starts college, let him have the rest of it to pay for college, and then leave it to him to figure out how to proceed from there? That seems short-sighted. Maybe not quite as short-sighted as this young couple’s contraceptive failure, but still ill-advised.

Want Advice on Parenting, Kids, or Family Life?

Submit your questions to Care and Feeding here . It’s anonymous! (Questions may be edited for publication.)

My 8-year-old daughter, “Daisy,” is intelligent, does well in school, and has a close friend group she’s known since pre-K. But she struggles with the mildest of pressure or decision-making. So while she’s danced onstage in front of hundreds of people, has sung and recited poetry at her school festival, and held up like a champ when a sudden family health crisis meant I lived essentially in the hospital for over a year—and when my mother-in-law’s rapid-onset dementia meant she suddenly had to move in with us and be supervised 24/7, Daisy gave up her bedroom without a complaint—she completely falls apart at small, run-of-the-mill, daily stresses. I know we’re lucky and I shouldn’t complain, because she’s an unbelievably good kid when it comes to big asks, but her distress over minor everyday matters is very concerning to me. If you give her a standard heads-up, like “dinner in 15 minutes,” her breathing becomes rapid and panicky, her hands shake, and she drops things as she scrambles to put away her toys or finish her homework. Even if you speak to her gently, she reacts as if a drill sergeant has just screamed in her face. She also falls apart with small, unimportant decisions—like what to wear, choosing an ice cream flavor, or picking out a birthday card for a friend. This morning I asked her if she wanted toast or a bagel for breakfast, and I thought she was going to have a panic attack.

After the long hospitalization/health crisis period of our lives, she started going to a “feelings group” at school, for kids who have undergone major stress. The teacher who runs it has noted that Daisy doesn’t have these panics at school because there is little opportunity (or requirement) for her to make her own decisions. I don’t know how to help her cope and learn to be comfortable with little stresses.

—Sweating the Small Stuff

Dear Sweating,

The thing about “overreacting” to little stresses—or what seem to others to be little stresses: toast or bagel, this shirt/movie/activity or that—is that those stresses don’t feel little. You can’t teach someone to be comfortable with what feels extremely uncomfortable. The real issue is: Why does decision-making (or knowing you have to be finished doing what you’re doing in a specified short time frame—or anything else that it seems clear to you is no big deal) feel so terrible to Daisy?

As I so often feel obliged to remind advice-seekers, I am not a trained mental health professional—I’m just a novelist and mother with a lot of years on most of the people who write to me, who offers commonsense advice based on a lifetime of close observation of human behavior (occupational hazard), life experience, book-learning, and a zillion years of therapy—but I would venture to say that Daisy’s extraordinary ability (the appearance of ability, anyway) to handle extreme situations comes at the cost of her inability to handle supposedly minor ones.

I think 1) she’s used up all her resources, 2) freaking out about bagel versus toast feels to her like a safe way to express her anxiety and fear, which has to come out somehow , because she couldn’t allow herself to express how she felt—or couldn’t access her feelings, or maybe couldn’t even let herself feel—when someone in the family was hospitalized and as a result one of her parents was unavailable to her for so long, or when her grandmother with dementia moved into the house and into what had been her room (because she intuited, and/or perhaps was even told, that she had to “be a big girl” about it), and 3) if this isn’t addressed now by therapy—and assessed by a psychiatrist—this may turn into a lifelong problem. It’s even possible (not to be an alarmist, but I want you to understand that this isn’t something to trifle with) that it’s an early sign of a mental health disorder that needs to be addressed as soon as possible. It may be that her panics over “little things” are “just” escape valves—but even if that’s so, the steam that needs to escape requires therapeutic action.

Catch Up on Care and Feeding

·  Missed earlier columns this week?  Read them here . ·  Discuss this column in the  Slate Parenting Facebook group !

I am an 18-year-old (male) who has a 10-year-old half-sister, “Lucy.” I absolutely adore her. She has ADHD and anxiety and has a hard time interacting with her peers other than her close friends. She is taking swimming lessons now, which I drop her off for and pick her up at, since the lessons are early on Saturdays and I’m a natural morning person (and my mom works on Saturdays and my stepdad sleeps in). She’s described being “mistreated” by the other kids in the swimming class, but it sounds to me like what’s going on is essentially bullying.

She’s given me a few specific examples, especially centered around one kid who sounds like an absolute nightmare, who has mocked certain ADHD behaviors that Lucy has, like needing things repeated because of auditory processing, or moving her body for regulation (stimming). Other kids join in too. Apparently, the only thing this one girl has done physically is hiding my sister’s glasses while she was changing, but that’s still a pretty big deal, as she can’t really see at all without them. I asked what the instructor does when this “mistreatment” happens, and Lucy said she seems kind of unobservant. The problem is, she doesn’t want me to tell our parents. She says this is because she’s afraid they’ll pull her out of swim lessons if they know, and every year my grandparents host a bunch of people at their cabin on the lake and Lucy wants to finally be able to swim with all the cousins. I’m just not sure what to do here. Like, I like that my sister trusts me, but at the same time, she’s asking me to keep a pretty big secret from my mom and stepdad (her mom and dad).

—Swimming with Sharks

Dear Swimming with Sharks,

You have two choices, it seems to me—and then so will Lucy. Since it doesn’t sound as if she doesn’t want someone to step in and help her and I’m taking her at her word that what worries her about telling your parents is that they won’t let her keep taking swimming lessons, one of your choices is: Tell Lucy you have to tell Mom and Dad, but that you’ll also tell them that she adamantly wants to keep going to her class, that what she needs from them is help figuring out how to deal with a problem she can’t manage on her own (and I’ll admit it disturbs me that she is so sure—from past experience?—that they’ll simply pull her out of class instead of finding a solution). Your second choice, since you mustn’t stand by and do nothing while your little sister is being “mistreated,” is for you to be the grownup who helps her deal with this. Strategize responses with her, talk to the instructor yourself, and if it comes to it, talk directly to the girl who seems to be the bullying ringleader. I know you must feel powerless, but I am pretty sure an 18-year-old guy telling a little kid to quit picking on Lucy will have an impact, especially if it’s coupled with Lucy feeling a bit more empowered (a couple of good comebacks can go a long way) and the instructor being alerted to the dynamic in her class. Of course, this will mean your stepping up and taking on a more adult role in Lucy’s life before you feel ready to be an adult, but is that so bad? She already trusts you, and she depends on you to do some things her parents can’t or won’t. Maybe you can let her know that she can count on you for more than that.

As to Lucy’s choices: If you’re willing to take on Option 2, let her know that. Then let her choose between your reporting what you know to the certified grownups or being the ad hoc grownup yourself. If you can’t see yourself in the latter scenario, then Lucy doesn’t have a choice. Which isn’t great, especially since she may see this as a betrayal—even if you promise her that you’ll make sure she gets to keep taking lessons—but it’s still better than doing nothing at all.

My husband suffered a great deal of family loss early in his life (both via family deaths and estrangements) and has very close relationships with his remaining relatives, all of whom are very nice people who have been through a lot. The problem is that he is absolutely inflexible about his determination to celebrate all holidays with them, and because we are an interfaith family, there are a lot of holidays to celebrate! We have two kids, one with high needs, and we both have demanding jobs, and I’d like us to have some quieter or time-alone holidays, but whenever I’ve suggested taking a trip for Christmas, or doing a small Passover dinner at home, he tells me that his family relationships will never recover if we abandon them for the holidays. (However, siblings and cousins have at times backed out of a holiday for a vacation or other commitment. We’re the only ones who steadfastly show up for every event, every year.) This has made me dread every single holiday because I feel so trapped by these obligations and unable to ever choose what’s right for us at any given time. But we can’t have a conversation about this, because he cuts it off by saying any change to the status quo will destroy his connection with his remaining family. What do I do?

Dear No Ho,

This is not a how-do-we-celebrate-holidays problem, it’s a marriage problem. Your husband’s grief and fear do not justify his inflexibility and his unwillingness to hear you out or consider your feelings. If you have not yet framed this in terms of your understanding that grief, acknowledging his fears, and wanting to do whatever you can to help him heal, that’s your first task. But he is still unlikely to budge until he deals with those feelings (you will not be surprised to hear me suggest therapy). In any case, this conflict will not be resolved until he recognizes that your feelings are important too, and that he doesn’t get to make unilateral decisions (about holidays or anything else). You two may need help communicating with each other, particularly if he won’t get help himself. If he balks at seeing a marriage counselor—and he isn’t able to pay attention to what you need and want without that help—you might tell him what I’m about to tell you: This marriage will not be sustainable over time if you don’t work this out. And by “this,” I don’t mean only where, how, and with whom Christmas, Hanukkah, Passover, and Easter are celebrated.

More Advice From Slate

I’m a 29-year-old straight cis woman. I have no kids, and in spite of all I read in this column, I’d still like to be a parent in the future. My question is about getting on the same page with my partner about this. He’s a 28-year-old straight cis man who says he’s neutral on having children. Honestly, I don’t think he ever thought about it until we started dating five years ago.

What is 'school refusal' and what can I do if my child struggles to get to school?

Chances are you've heard about or have a child who struggles to attend school.

A growing number of Aussie kids are missing school — for the last decade attendance rates have been dropping according to the national attendance authority, ACARA.

One of the reasons experts say some kids are not going is "school refusal". It's a term that refers to kids who experience emotional distress around school.

Many experts and families argue the more accurate term is "school can't", as it's not a deliberate choice by the child.

The issue — the subject of this week's Four Corners, 'The Kids Who Can't' — has largely been a hidden struggle for families. But last year a Senate inquiry brought new attention and some recommendations.

Desperate parents though, are still searching for answers.

There's no easy solution, and every kid's situation is different, but here are some resources and options that might help you.

What is school refusal and who is at risk?

The reasons children struggle to attend school can be complex. Research suggests that risk factors can include psychological problems, socio-economic disadvantage and school environment problems like bullying.

While school refusal can be caused by problems at home or school, it's often associated with autism, ADHD and anxiety disorders.

Some of the ways experts and education departments say it can present are:

• Reluctance to get up on school mornings
• Tantrums or outbursts
• Repeated pleas to go home
• Frequent lateness or skipping of school
• Frequent requests to go to the sick bay
• Threats to harm themselves

Fundamentally it's where a child has trouble attending or remaining at school due to varying underlying stressors.

Sydney mum Alice says her eight-year-old daughter Frieda, who is autistic, struggles to get to school full-time.

"Some days we couldn't even get out of the house. Some days we would get as far as the footpath and then she couldn't go in … then sometimes [she'd] just run away," she says.

Experts say school refusal can impact anyone, but certain groups are more at risk.

"They may be autistic, they may have learning difficulties, ADHD. They may have anxiety or some other mood disorder," says Lisa McKay-Brown, an education researcher at the University of Melbourne.

Isn't it just wagging?

Truancy involves children who typically conceal their absence from their parents and may show antisocial behaviours.

School refusal, on the other hand, is when parents know about their child's absence from school and have tried to get them to attend. The attendance issue is often due to distress.

What can my child's current school do?

Your child's school should be your first point of contact to seek help.

This may mean collaborating with the school to come up with any adjustments to assist your child and make them feel safe. As education is a state-run system – schools can advise what support options are available in your area.

For example:

In New South Wales, extra support may be sought by your child's school. They may apply for integration funding support (IFS) to fund a teaching and support officer for your child or other support if that is additionally required.

Your school may also explore the option of a transfer to a school for specific purposes (SSPs) that provide targeted and specialist programs. As part of the referral process, it may be required that students have a confirmed disability that meets the department's disability criteria.

Are there any government programs focusing on school refusers?

Each state has different resources available for families dealing with school refusal.

In Victoria, the education department runs programs to re-engage youth in their schooling (there's a similar program in NSW). In one of them, called the "Navigator", Victorian kids aged 12 to 17 can be referred if their attendance is below 30 per cent.

In Queensland, families can call the Regional Youth Engagement Service for help and assistance if their child is refusing to go to school. They can put parents in touch with guidance counsellors and other professionals to provide support.

There are no other government schools in my catchment zone, what are my options?

There are a number of independent schools that cater for young people who are disengaged from education and whose needs are not being met by the mainstream system.

But they're not everywhere, and there's high demand to secure a place. The waitlist at one school, MacKillop Education Geelong, was up to 100 people long.

Ethan, a 12-year-old from Geelong waited six months to get a spot at the school.

When he did get in, he flourished.

"When he came here, he couldn't read, couldn't write, couldn't do anything, and now, he's taking on board the learning … to the point where he can go back to mainstream school next year," says his mother Sam.

The school has 80 students enrolled and keeps class sizes limited to eight kids. It has chill-out areas for students who need emotional regulation, and made adjustments like allowing kids to choose what they wear.

Distance education programs are also available at some schools for children and youth who may be geographically isolated or whose special circumstances prevent them from attending a school.

Are there other options?

Some parents homeschool in order to meet their child's education needs themselves. It is a legally recognised alternative to enrolment in a school.

For some, it's a last resort they feel they must take on, even if it means sacrificing work and other commitments. But for many, it's just not financially feasible.

Each state and territory has different registration and monitoring requirements for parents who homeschool their kids.

Home Education Association, a not-for-profit community support group, has some resources on what each state and territory requires .

How many families is this affecting?

It's really hard to tell.

Deakin University researcher, Associate Professor Glenn Melvin, says one of the biggest issues with addressing school refusal is that we don't know how many young people it's impacting.

There is no comprehensive national data on school refusal because most states and territories are not tracking the reason kids are absent from school

"Departments of Education don't routinely collect this data, but this is critical data. It might be that the problem is much larger than we expect," Dr Melvin says.

Victoria is the only state that tracks school refusal numbers.

In 2021, 11,825 students were affected – but the Victorian government says this is a conservative estimate.

What's being done?

The Senate inquiry into school refusal made 14 recommendations to the federal, state and territory governments.

They include:

• A nationally agreed definition of school refusal and a consistent approach to recording school absences
• funding a support network for parents and schools
• An expansion of subsidised student mental health care visits

This month, the federal government agreed or supported in principle two of the inquiry's 14 recommendations.

They include commissioning the Australian Education Research Organisation to analyse what's driving the problem and possible interventions as well as disseminating school refusal training for teachers.

Greens senator Penny Allman-Payne, who helped instigate the inquiry, says some solutions could be integrated into mainstream schools.

"We know that there are things that work: early intervention, smaller class sizes, flexible campuses, interest-led learning," she says.

How can I understand the issue better as a parent?

While no national resource exists to help parents dealing with school refusal, most state education departments have information available online.

In Australia, Monash University, University of Melbourne and Deakin University researchers have also created evidence-based parent resources for school refusal including a parenting guide and online modules for families.

Watch Four Corners: The Kids Who Can't, now on ABC iview .

Subscribe to the Four Corners newsletter and follow Four Corners on Facebook .

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Scripts to End Every Homework Fight

Steer your child through her nightly homework load — without being the bad guy or doing all the work — with these adhd-proof conversation guides..

The Homework Hurdles

Every child with ADHD experiences his or her own unique set of super powers and challenges. But one common thread unites all families living with attention deficit and learning disabilities: a hatred of homework .

The fact is, most parents in your shoes are exhausted from the repetitive fights, the missing assignments, and the hours and hours of wasted time. You know your child is smart and capable — which makes it extra frustrating when he delays starting a straightforward assignment, turns in work that’s incomplete, or forgets assignments altogether. Homework becomes a daily reminder of struggles and setbacks.

Taskmaster Trouble

When your child’s work doesn’t match up with his skills and intelligence, you might fall into the unrelenting role of “homework police.” As your child’s daily taskmaster, you’re nagging, poking, prodding, and cajoling on a nearly constant basis — which is awful for everyone. Micromanaging your child’s nightly workload won’t teach him any necessary life skills or help him learn. In fact, it’s likely to lead to resentment — and more homework fights in the long run!

A Better Role for Parents

“Strict supervisor” is not your only option. What you can (and should) do instead is set up routines and external structures that will help your child develop her executive functions and find the confidence to get her work done herself — without constant nagging . How can you do this? By providing guidance, offering support, and asking the right questions. Follow these scripts to get started on your healthier homework trajectory.

[ Free Download: Top 5 Homework Frustrations — and Fixes for Each ]

Script 1: Getting Organized

Did your child struggle with organization last year? Many parents adopt a “wait and see” strategy each fall, hoping their child “learned his lesson” from past slip-ups. This is wishful thinking — but not particularly helpful or productive. Instead, set up structure before the school year starts — and tweak it as the year progresses, and your child’s needs and skills shift.

Start with Transparency

What not to do: Walk into your child’s room and say, “Listen, buddy, there’s a new sheriff in town!”

Every good organization intervention begins with an open and honest conversation that’s positive and blame-free. Start by setting up a specific time to talk. Begin the dialogue calmly by saying something like, “Last year, we struggled with organization. I didn’t like nagging you all the time, and I’m sure you didn’t like it either. Let’s talk about some changes we can make this year to make it easier on both of us.”

Organization Strategies We Love

By actively soliciting your child’s input, you’re showing him that you understand his challenges and respect his autonomy. But you also need to suggest concrete changes that will actually help him get more organized. Following are a few of my favorites:

1. The Clean Sweep

Set up a recurring time — say every Sunday at 7 PM — when everyone in the family cleans up together. Your child can organize his backpack, while Mom goes through the mail, and Dad organizes the mud room. Getting everyone in on the routine makes organization feel like less of a punishment for your child, and the external structure of the recurring appointment will help him build his executive functions and develop stronger organization habits.

[ The ADHD Homework System We Swear By ]

2. The Homework Folder

The homework folders that help younger children remember to turn in assignments are often phased out in middle school. But a homework folder is a great tool for kids of any age — particularly those with ADHD who lose assignments constantly. It works like this: every incoming assignment goes in the left side of the folder, and upon completion it’s immediately placed in the right side. There, it’s easy to find once it’s time to turn it in — no more crumpled math worksheets or frantic phone calls home!

3. The Launch Pad

A launch pad is an area where your child can put everything she needs for school. This could be a box by the door or a set of hooks in the hallway or a special spot on the counter. Every night, before your child goes to sleep, help her get in the habit of putting everything she’ll need for school — backpack, shoes, jacket — on the launch pad. The next morning, there’s no scrambling; she simply picks up her stuff from its designated spot, and she’s ready for the school day!

Script 2: Setting Up a Homework Routine

“What’s the best time and place for kids to do homework?” I get this question a lot and the answer is not always satisfying: It really depends on where (and how) your child works best.

Try setting up multiple designated homework places — the dining room table, a home office, or the local library — that your child can move between as she pleases. If your child struggles to stay focused while doing homework in her bedroom, open up your discussion by suggesting some personal exploration. “Let’s try some other homework stations this year and see where you feel most productive,” you might say. Encourage your child to be a “detective” and make a game out of finding where she works best — you’ll teach her the skill of self-examination, and show that you trust her judgment of what she needs to be successful.

Helping Restless Kids

If your child squirms in his seat or can’t stop getting up during homework time, do not admonish him. Instead, help him redirect that energy by allowing him to work standing up, lying down, or while holding a small fidget toy . Children with ADHD tend to fidget as a way to relieve an internal pressure; by releasing that pressure through small constructive movements, they can actually focus better and be more productive. In other words, don’t fight the fidget!

Script 3: Getting Started

Getting started is often the hardest part of homework. If your child dillies and dallies after school — maybe struggling to disengage from a video game, or getting up to sharpen her pencil over and over again — help her understand her priorities and give her the push she needs to get started. But instead of demanding, “Why haven’t you started your homework?” try asking, “What are your priorities today?” This question will help a child figure out what she has to do first — instead of getting overwhelmed and shutting down.

Setting Up Structure

Instead of asking, “Did you study for your science test?” — which often elicits a one-word answer — try asking this: “What’s the first thing you can do to get ready for your test on Thursday?” You’ll help your child think critically about what can and should be done, without letting him off the hook from studying altogether. Another good question is, “What could get in your way?” This way, if your child has an upcoming soccer game, or knows he left his textbook at school, he can anticipate problems ahead of time — and figure out strategies for working around them.

Script 4: Estimating Time

Your child insists that her diorama will only take 30 minutes to build; it ends up taking more than three hours. Children with ADHD don’t procrastinate and underestimate time on purpose. Their internal clocks are quiet or easily stalled, making it difficult to estimate time. If this sounds familiar, try asking your child at the outset, “How long do you think this will take?” Once he’s done with the assignment, discuss how long it actually took — and help him identify which steps slowed him down the most or caused him to exceed his estimate. Next time, ask him to factor in those trouble spots before he starts and, as time goes on, he’ll get better at estimating how much time he actually needs.

Planning for Long-Term Assignments

Daily work is one thing; long-term projects are daunting and confusing in their own special way. If your child struggles to break down big assignments, try creating external rewards to be doled out when he reaches small, pre-determined milestones. If your child likes baseball or Pokémon cards, for instance, try breaking a new pack of cards into four parts. Tell him, “When you finish the research for your paper, you can have one pile. When you finish your first draft, you can have the second” — and so on. Physical rewards help kids with ADHD turn the abstract concepts of time and prioritization into something concrete — and motivate them to get their work done.

Script 5: Solving Procrastination Problems

Kids with ADHD have a very short “time horizon” — that is, they don’t look far into the future. And the shorter your time horizon, the harder it is to plan ahead and set up long-term goals. If your child has a big project due on Friday, but insists, “Don’t worry — I don’t need to start until Thursday,” that’s a red flag. But starting on Monday will never work because that doesn’t sync up with her time horizon. So start small by asking, “How about you start on Wednesday instead?” and set up structures to help make that happen. Ask her what would help the most — guidance with the first step, a friendly reminder, and/or time carved out on the family calendar — to start that assignment on time.

Talking Openly

Verbalizing your child’s experiences and empathizing with his struggles goes a long way toward helping him manage procrastination. If your child is delaying homework time more than usual, try saying, “I can tell getting started is hard for you today. What can I do to help?” Instead of blaming and shaming — “You’re still on the first problem?! But you have violin practice in 20 minutes!” — this approach shows you understand that his brain is facing ADHD barriers. By identifying his feelings and brainstorming ways to help, he’ll be better equipped to set up his own systems.

[ How to Focus After 4: Defying Homework Distractions ]

Bonus Resources

For more scripts, tips, and resources, visit Ann Dolin’s website, ectutoring.com !

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Physical Fitness and Risk of Mental Disorders in Children and Adolescents

• 1 Department of Psychiatry, National Taiwan University Hospital and College of Medicine, Taipei, Taiwan
• 2 Department of Psychiatry, Far Eastern Memorial Hospital, New Taipei City, Taiwan
• 3 International Health Program, College of Medicine, National Yang Ming Chiao Tung University, Taipei, Taiwan
• 4 Institute of Public Health, College of Medicine, National Yang Ming Chiao Tung University, Taipei, Taiwan
• 5 Department of Sport Management, National Taiwan University of Sport, Taichung, Taiwan
• 6 The Research Center of Sport and Health Industry, National Sun Yat-sen University, Kaohsiung, Taiwan
• 7 Department of Physical Education, Fu Jen Catholic University, New Taipei City, Taiwan
• 8 Sports Medicine Center, Fu Jen Catholic Hospital, New Taipei City, Taiwan
• 9 Center for Physical and Health Education, National Sun Yat-sen University, Kaohsiung, Taiwan
• 10 Center for Precision Psychiatry, Massachusetts General Hospital, Boston
• 11 Department of Psychiatry, Harvard Medical School, Boston, Massachusetts
• 12 Graduate Institute of Clinical Medicine and Graduate Institute of Brain and Mind Sciences, National Taiwan University College of Medicine, Taipei, Taiwan
• 13 Health Innovation Center, National Yang Ming Chiao Tung University, Taipei, Taiwan
• 14 Research Center for Epidemic Prevention and One Health, National Yang Ming Chiao Tung University, Taipei, Taiwan

Question   Is physical fitness associated with long-term risks of mental disorders in children and adolescents?

Findings   This nationwide cohort study, encompassing 1.9 million participants in Taiwan, revealed that children and adolescents in better-performing fitness quantiles exhibited lower cumulative incidences of anxiety disorders, depressive disorders, and attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder. Notably, enhanced cardiorespiratory fitness, muscular endurance, and muscular power were independently associated with reduced mental disorder incidences in this demographic, even after accounting for confounding factors.

Meaning   These findings suggest the potential of cardiorespiratory and muscular fitness as protective factors in mitigating the onset of mental disorders among children and adolescents.

Importance   With the rising prevalence of mental disorders among children and adolescents, identifying modifiable associations is critical.

Objective   To examine the association between physical fitness and mental disorder risks.

Design, Setting, and Participants   This nationwide cohort study used data from the Taiwan National Student Fitness Tests and National Health Insurance Research Databases from January 1, 2009 to December 31, 2019. Participants were divided into 2 cohorts targeting anxiety and depression (1 996 633 participants) and attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD; 1 920 596 participants). Participants were aged 10 to 11 years at study entry and followed up for at least 3 years, had a nearly equal gender distribution, and an average follow-up of 6 years. Data were analyzed from October 2022 to February 2024.

Exposures   Assessments of physical fitness included cardiorespiratory fitness (CF), muscular endurance (ME), muscular power (MP), and flexibility, measured through an 800-m run time, bent-leg curl-ups, standing broad jump, and sit-and-reach test, respectively.

Main Outcomes and Measures   Kaplan-Meier method calculated the cumulative incidence of anxiety, depression, and ADHD across fitness quartiles. Additionally, multivariable Cox proportional hazards models were used that included all 4 fitness components and explored sex and income as modifiers.

Results   The anxiety and depression cohort had 1 996 633 participants (1 035 411 participants were male [51.9%], and the median [IQR] age was 10.6 [10.3-11.0] years), while the ADHD cohort had 1 920 596 (975 568 participants were male [51.9%], and the median [IQR] age was 10.6 [10.3-11.0] years). Cumulative incidence of mental disorders was lower among participants in better-performing fitness quartiles, suggesting a dose-dependent association. Gender-specific analyses, controlling for confounders, revealed that improved CF, indicated by a 30-second decrease in run times, was associated with reduced risks of anxiety, depression, and ADHD in female participants, and lower risks of anxiety and ADHD in male participants (adjusted hazard ratio [aHR] for ADHD risk for female participants, 0.92; 95% CI, 0.90-0.94; P  < .001; for male participants, 0.93; 95% CI, 0.92-0.94; P  < .001). Enhanced ME, marked by an increase of 5 curl-ups per minute, was associated with decreased risks of depression and ADHD in female participants, and lower anxiety and ADHD risks in male participants (aHR for ADHD risk for female participants, 0.94; 95% CI, 0.92-0.97; P  < .001; for male participants, 0.96; 95% CI, 0.95-0.97; P  < .001). Improved MP, reflected by a 20-cm increase in jump distance, was associated with reduced risks of anxiety and ADHD in female participants and reduced anxiety, depression, and ADHD in male participants (aHR for ADHD risk for female participants, 0.95; 95% CI, 0.91-1.00; P  = .04; for male participants, 0.96; 95% CI, 0.94-0.99; P  = .001).

Conclusions and Relevance   This study highlights the potential protective role of cardiorespiratory fitness, muscular endurance, and muscular power in preventing the onset of mental disorders. It warrants further investigation of the effectiveness of physical fitness programs as a preventive measure for mental disorders among children and adolescents.

Read More About

Chiang H , Chuang Y , Chen Y, et al. Physical Fitness and Risk of Mental Disorders in Children and Adolescents. JAMA Pediatr. Published online April 29, 2024. doi:10.1001/jamapediatrics.2024.0806

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