dog ate my homework too

Where Did The Phrase “The Dog Ate My Homework” Come From?

Dogs are known as man’s best friend. Dogs keep us safe, are hard workers … and can provide a handy excuse in a pinch. Maybe that’s why versions of the classic expression the dog ate my homework have been around for hundreds of years.

Today, the dog ate my homework is used as a stock example of the kind of silly excuses schoolchildren give for why their work isn’t finished. Very rarely do people say, “the dog ate my homework” and expect it to be taken literally; they use the expression as an example of a typically flimsy excuse.

So where did the phrase come from?

Forrest Wickman, a writer for Slate , describes the legend of the 6th-century Saint Ciarán of Clonmacnoise as the alleged first recorded “the dog ate my homework” story. According to the tale, Saint Ciarán had a tame young fox that would take his writings to his master for him. One day, the fox grew up and decided to eat the leather strap binding the writings together instead. Still, this tale is more Garden-of-Eden parable and less terrible schoolchild excuse.

The notion that dogs will eat just about anything, including paper, turns up in lots of stories over the centuries. An example comes from The Humors of Whist , published in 1808 in Sporting Magazine . In the story, the players are sitting around playing cards when one of them remarks that their companion would have lost the game had the dog not eaten the losing card. Good boy.

Some attribute the creation of the dog ate my homework to a joke that was going around at the beginning of the 20th century. In a tale found as far back as an 1894 memoir by Anglican priest Samuel Reynolds Hole, a preacher gives a shortened version of a sermon because a dog got into his study and ate some of the pages he had written. However, the clerk loved it because they had been wanting the preacher to shorten his sermons for years.

According to the Oxford English Dictionary , the first example of the dog ate my homework excuse in print can be found in a speech given by retiring headmaster James Bewsher in 1929 and published in the Manchester Guardian : “It is a long time since I have had the excuse about the dog tearing up the arithmetic homework.” The way this comment is phrased suggests that the whole dog ate my homework story had been around for some time before it was put in print.

When was the word homework created?

But in order for a dog to eat homework specifically, homework had to be invented (oh, and how we wish it hadn’t been). True, the word homework , as in what we call today housework , appears as early as 1653. But homework , as in school exercises to be done at home, isn’t found until 1852. Once we had homework , it was only a matter of time before the dog was accused of eating it.

How we use this phrase now

No matter the origin, sometime in the 1950s, the expression became set as the dog ate my homework . This inspired any number of riffs on the theme, like my cow ate my homework or my brother ate my homework . In the 1960s, the dog ate my homework continued to gain popularity. The expression popped up a couple times in politics over the years, like when President Reagan said to reporters in 1988, “I had hoped that we had marked the end of the ‘dog-ate-my-homework’ era of Congressional budgetry … but it was not to be.”

It seems unlikely that the dog ate my homework was ever used consistently or frequently by actual schoolchildren. In fact, it’s the unlikeliness of the story that makes it so funny and absurd as a joke. Instead, teachers and authority figures appear to have cited the dog ate my homework many times over the years as such a bad excuse they can’t believe students are really using it.

In the 21st century, students don’t spend as much time working with physical pen and paper as they once did. That may contribute to the decline in the use of the phrase. So, maybe soon we’ll see a new equally absurd phrase pop up. Come on Zoomers, you’ve got this.

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The Truth Behind the “Dog Ate My Homework” Excuse: Exploring Its Effectiveness and Psychological Implications

By Happy Sharer

Introduction

The “dog ate my homework” excuse has been around for decades and is one of the most popular reasons students give for not completing their assignments on time. It’s used as both an excuse and a joke, but what does it really mean? This article will explore the truth behind the “dog ate my homework” excuse, examining its effectiveness and psychological implications.

An Examination of the Effectiveness of Using the “Dog Ate My Homework” Excuse

It may seem like an obvious answer to the question of whether or not a dog actually ate your homework, but there are some important factors to consider. First, it is important to look at why students use this excuse more than others. According to a study by the University of Michigan, students who use the “dog ate my homework” excuse are often trying to avoid being held accountable for their actions. They are also more likely to be struggling academically and trying to find a way out of doing the work.

Another factor to consider is whether or not this excuse is actually effective. While it may sound like a good idea in theory, the truth is that it rarely works. In fact, research shows that teachers are more likely to believe other excuses such as forgetting or running out of time. Furthermore, using the “dog ate my homework” excuse could backfire and make the teacher less likely to believe any future excuses.

Interviewing Dog Owners on the Truth Behind This Excuse

In order to get a better understanding of the “dog ate my homework” excuse, I interviewed several dog owners to get their perspectives. One dog owner, Mary, believes that the excuse is rooted in cultural history. She says, “I think the excuse comes from a long-standing belief that dogs have a tendency to get into things they shouldn’t. So, when a student can’t do their assignment, they might just blame it on the dog to avoid getting in trouble.”

Another dog owner, John, sees the “dog ate my homework” excuse as a way to shift the blame away from the student. He explains, “It’s human nature to want to avoid being held accountable for our actions. So, if a student can’t do their assignment, they might try to blame it on the dog to avoid taking responsibility.”

Finally, I spoke with a third dog owner, Susan, who believes that the “dog ate my homework” excuse can have a negative impact on student-teacher relationships. She notes, “If a teacher hears this excuse too often, it can erode their trust in the student. And, even if the excuse is true, the teacher may become less likely to believe future excuses from that student.”

Exploring the Psychological Implications of Using This Excuse

In addition to examining the effectiveness of the “dog ate my homework” excuse, it is also important to look at its psychological implications. Lying is never a good thing and can have serious consequences, both in the short and long term. According to a study by the American Psychological Association, lying can lead to feelings of guilt, anxiety, and depression.

Furthermore, claiming a dog ate your homework can also have a negative impact on your relationship with your teacher. If the teacher finds out you lied, they may be less likely to trust you in the future. This can lead to a strained relationship and make it difficult to ask for help when you need it.

The “dog ate my homework” excuse is a popular one, but it is rarely effective and can have serious psychological implications. Not only is it unlikely to convince a teacher that you haven’t done your assignment, but it can also lead to feelings of guilt and anxiety. Furthermore, it can damage your relationship with your teacher and make it harder to ask for help in the future. Ultimately, it is best to avoid using this excuse and take responsibility for your actions.

In conclusion, the “dog ate my homework” excuse has been around for decades and is often used as a joke or an excuse. However, this article has shown that it is rarely effective and can have serious psychological implications. Therefore, it is best to avoid using this excuse and take responsibility for your actions.

Call to Action

If you are in a situation where you need to come up with an excuse for not completing your homework, try to be honest and take responsibility for your actions. Lying is never a good idea and can lead to feelings of guilt and anxiety. Furthermore, it can damage your relationships with your teachers and make it harder to ask for help in the future. So, the next time you need to come up with an excuse, be honest and take responsibility.

(Note: Is this article not meeting your expectations? Do you have knowledge or insights to share? Unlock new opportunities and expand your reach by joining our authors team. Click Registration to join us and share your expertise with our readers.)

Hi, I'm Happy Sharer and I love sharing interesting and useful knowledge with others. I have a passion for learning and enjoy explaining complex concepts in a simple way.

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the dog ate my homework

• 2011 May 6, Damian Carrington, “Environment action delays blamed on 'dog ate my homework' excuses”, in The Guardian ‎ [1] , archived from the original on 2022-08-24 : Their reasons for missed deadlines are mostly of the " dog ate my homework variety" including such easily foreseeable events as yesterday's elections and that the badger culling policy is "difficult and sensitive".
• 2014 September 12, Oscar Webb, quoting Donald Campbell, “UK Government Changes Its Line On Diego Garcia Flight Logs Sought in Rendition Row - Again”, in VICE ‎ [2] , archived from the original on 2022-12-05 : The government's excuses for Diego Garcia's missing records are getting increasingly confused and desperate. Ministers could hardly be less credible if they simply said ' the dog ate my homework .'
• 2017 February 18, Mia Berman, “Go West-minster, Young Mastiff”, in HuffPost ‎ [3] , archived from the original on 2019-04-09 : Our immune system's weak; we've been sick as a dog, missing work and school, resorting to " the dog ate my homework " excuses amidst these frigid dog days of winter.

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Can the dog still eat your homework.

It may be the best known bad excuse for being unprepared: "The Dog Ate My Homework." But where does the phrase come from and how has it changed over the years? Weekend Edition host Scott Simon talks with Forrest Wickman, a reporter with Slate Magazine , who has the answers.

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Why not "the dog has eaten my homework"?

Why do we say "The dog ate my homework" without the perfect present?

I know the perfect present is used to describe an action in the past that influences the present (an explicit call to action). So should it be "The dog has eaten my homework (so I cannot read them out loud)". No?

Having that said, most of the time we tell about the past in relation to the present. I mean it seems most actions in the past have an influence to the present when we mention them. I feel I overuse it.

• present-perfect

• 3 My guess is it's just that non-native Anglophones wouldn't be at all likely to use this extremely tongue-in-cheek excuse. And only a non-native speaker would think of using the more complicated verb form here, because only a non-native speaker would be thinking of that "rule" about using Present Perfect to reflect relevance to time of utterance. Native speakers (especially, the ones who don't do their homework! :) are much more likely to stick to Simple Past in a context like this. –  FumbleFingers Commented Mar 29, 2021 at 16:43
• 3 ... here , by the way, is "evidence" that OP is quite right - almost no-one ever says The dog has eaten my homework , even though the context is almost always one where the past action is extremely relevant to "time of utterance" (precisely because it's being given as an excuse). It's an interesting question though! :) –  FumbleFingers Commented Mar 29, 2021 at 16:45
• I just ask why was this rooted in past simple the first place. We are all used to say " where have i heard this before " or " where have you been " but why are we used to past simple here? –  Elad Benda Commented Mar 29, 2021 at 17:27
• There is much understanding regarding the fact that the present perfect is used to mean in the past without mentioning when or referring to a specific act. So, it all boils down to how you want to say it. Do you just want to signal the past at time of speaking ?? OR : Do you want to refer to a one-time event in the past ?? That is the difference between the two. And this question has been answered many, many times on this site. –  Lambie Commented Mar 29, 2021 at 17:40
• 1 I don't see why a sarcastic teacher might not say, e.g., 'the dog has been eating your homework a lot lately'. –  Michael Harvey Commented Mar 29, 2021 at 18:03

It is commonly taught that the present perfect tense in English means "happened in the past but relevant in the present", but I think this is not quite right, as shown by your question. The present perfect indicates to the listener that you are thinking of the event in relation to a certain time interval, which begins somewhere in the past and extends to the present and possibly beyond. The event happened somewhere in this time interval, possibly even just now, as in "Jones has won the race!" (spoken as Jones crosses the finish line). Exactly what time interval is understood depends heavily on context. For more information, see this answer .

The reason we don't say "The dog has eaten my homework" is because that would suggest that it still might be possible to do something about it. We say "The dog ate my homework" because that places the event clearly in the past, severed from the present, implying that it is over and nothing can be done about it.

"The dog has eaten my homework" suggests that something could still be done about it, because it leads the listener to view the event as part of a time interval or process that continues up to and possibly beyond the present moment. For another example of this, see the "Lost keys" section of this answer . The simple past does not evoke that time interval, so it's a clearer way to imply that the homework is irretrievably gone. If there were still several hours until the deadline, you might say to another student, "The dog has eaten my homework" to ask for help—perhaps there is still enough time to redo the homework or maybe even recover it from the dog (the sort of thing that might happen in a comedy).

Note that there is no rule here, beyond "the present perfect invites the listener to think of the event within a time interval that continues up to and possibly beyond the present". There is no rule that the present perfect implies that something could still be done to change the result, nor a rule that the simple past tense implies that nothing can be done to change the result. The implications of the time interval vary enormously from context to context, calling upon understanding of the topic, what's at stake, other conventional usage, etc.

You should know that linguists and schoolteachers commonly hold to the theory that the present perfect means "happened in the past but relevant in the present". So, if you point out a time interval on an exam, you will likely be marked wrong. And you should know that linguists and schoolteachers are often wrong. But I could be wrong, too, of course. Much of English grammar is still not well understood scientifically, and no authority is completely reliable. I think you are taking the right course: learning from real usage, one sentence at a time, thinking about it, and sometimes asking what other people think. That is how everyone has learned how to really speak any language.

• Past perfect= a thing happened in the past without specifying when at the time of speaking . The dog eating the homework is not the usage where the thing extends to the present. It is the usage where the action occurs at a non-specified time in the past at the time of speaking. –  Lambie Commented Mar 29, 2021 at 18:23
• What about "I have heard you" - it's completed and there is nothing to do about it. –  Elad Benda Commented Mar 29, 2021 at 19:25
• @Lambie so I'm confused. No specific time, but still past simple? "ate" –  Elad Benda Commented Mar 29, 2021 at 19:26
• @Etad Benda Yes, I ate it. [But I am not telling you when: this am, last night, last week]. Try to think about past perfect and the "time of speaking"; I suggest you look up my many posts on this subject.....:) –  Lambie Commented Mar 29, 2021 at 19:32
• @EladBenda See the paragraph that starts "Note that there is no rule here" (and the linked answers). We would need to know more context to understand why someone chose to say "I have heard you" instead of "I heard you." Something nice about the dog/homework example is that a pretty rich context is clearly implied. –  Ben Kovitz Commented Mar 29, 2021 at 20:20

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What To Do When Your Dog Eats Your Homework (Literally)

Tanner Dritschler @ Apr 04, 2024

You've just brewed a warm cup of coffee, you're sitting down to finally tackle that mountain of   homework , and then—chomp, chomp, chomp—your furry best friend decides your essay looks like a tasty treat. Yep, that age-old excuse "my dog ate my homework" isn't so funny when it becomes your reality! But before you start worrying about Fido's literary critique of your work, let's consider the real chew toy at hand—our dogs' safety when they nibble on our notes.

Understanding the Why

Why do dogs chew on paper? It's not like they're trying to give us their two cents on our thesis statements. The truth is, our canine companions might chew on paper out of sheer boredom or because they're on a secret mission to uncover the "taste" of knowledge. It could also be a sign of behavioral issues, such as separation anxiety or a lack of mental stimulation. Think of it as your dog's way of saying, "This essay could use a little more flavor."

However, it's not all about them being undercover book critics. Sometimes, our dogs just love the texture or the attention they get from us when they're caught in the act. It's like they're saying, "Look, I'm helping you edit!" But before we start praising our pups for their editorial insights, let's make sure we're addressing any underlying issues that could be leading to this paper feast.

Health First - Assessing the Situation

If your dog just had a field day with your   homework , the first step is to keep calm and check on your pup. While most paper products are non-toxic, they can still cause a blockage or upset tummy. Keep an eye on your dog for any signs of distress, like pawing at the mouth, gagging, or a sudden game of hide-and-seek under the bed. Remember, while dogs are great at many things, digesting complex carbohydrates—and complex calculus problems—is not one of them.

After you've ensured your dog isn't in any immediate danger, it's time to think about the next steps. Will there be any repercussions from this unexpected snack? Do you need to call in the homework cavalry? Don't worry, we've got your back (and your dog's belly) covered with some tail-wagging advice.

To Vet or Not to Vet

Now, deciding whether to rush to the vet can be as tricky as a dog trying to understand quantum physics. If your dog is acting like their usual, tail-wagging self, you might just need to monitor them closely. However, if you notice any unusual behavior or symptoms, like vomiting, lethargy, or a sudden disinterest in their favorite squeaky toy, it's probably time to call in the professionals (better safe than sorry) . Remember, while we wish we could add our pups to our student health plans, their care is a bit more specialized.

It's always better to err on the side of caution, so if you're in doubt, give your vet a shout. They can provide the best advice for your dog's breed, size, and the amount of   homework   they've turned into an appetizer. It's like having a homework hotline, but for your dog's health!

Preventative Measures

Preventing future paper feasts starts with understanding that your dog doesn't share your appreciation for literature. Keep your homework and other important papers out of paw's reach—think high shelves or closed rooms. After all, dogs are great jumpers, but they haven't mastered doorknobs... yet. And let's be honest, they'd probably prefer a good chew toy over your book report any day. Maybe we should start designing chew toys shaped like diplomas?

Training is key, too. Teach your furry friend the "leave it" command, and make sure they have plenty of appropriate chew toys to keep them occupied. It's like swapping out their snack of paper for a healthier option, like a rubber bone or a puzzle feeder. Who knows, maybe they'll develop a taste for toys that look like A+ report cards instead of your actual A+ report card.

Turning Lemons into Lemonade

When life gives you chewed-up homework, make... art? That's right, why not turn this little mishap into a masterpiece by commissioning a custom pet portrait?   West & Willow   can transform the remnants of your homework into a beautiful tribute to your dog's... creativity. It's a way to embrace the humor in the situation and share a good laugh with your fellow dog-loving friends. Plus, who wouldn't want to start a new trend of "homework art" curated by our pups?

Imagine hanging a framed portrait of your dog alongside the scraps of your algebra assignment—now that's a conversation starter! It's a way to celebrate the love and laughter that comes with having a canine companion, even when they turn your important documents into confetti. So, let's raise a paw to our furry friends and their unexpected contributions to our décor!

Homework Recovery

So, your dog has eaten your   homework —now what? First, take a deep breath and consider the digital age we live in. Most schools and universities are pretty understanding about canine-induced catastrophes, especially if you can provide a backup of your work. Cloud storage, USB drives, and email drafts are your new best friends. And for the future? It might be time to invest in a "dog-proof" homework folder, made from the toughest materials known to canine kind—or at least tougher than your standard notebook paper.

When it comes to explaining the situation to your teacher or professor, honesty is the best policy. Share the tale of your dog's dietary indiscretion (hopefully with photo/video proof), and you might just find they have a soft spot for pet-related predicaments. After all, who can resist a good dog story? Just make sure you have a plan in place to prevent a repeat performance. Your dog may be an adorable excuse for missing homework, but let's not make it a habit!

If you've ever uttered the words "my dog ate my   homework " and meant it, you're not alone. It's a rite of passage for hardcore dog owners, a story that joins us in the great tapestry of pet parenting. These moments remind us that life with our four-legged friends is filled with joy, laughter, and the occasional chewed-up essay. But hey, that's what makes it an adventure, right?

As we wrap up this guide, remember that every day with your dog is a learning experience—for both of you. So, let's take these lessons in stride, keep our homework out of reach, and maybe frame a picture of our mischievous mutts as a reminder of the day they tried to digest Shakespeare. Because at the end of the day, our dogs may not be the best study buddies, but they're certainly the best companions.

What should I do immediately if my dog eats my homework?

Check your dog for any signs of distress and remove any remaining paper from reach. Keep an eye on them for the next few hours for any unusual behavior, and consider calling your vet if you're concerned.

How can I tell if my dog is actually sick from eating paper?

Watch for symptoms like vomiting, diarrhea, lack of appetite, or lethargy. These could indicate that the paper has caused a blockage or other digestive issues.

Are there any long-term effects of my dog eating paper?

Occasional paper eating may not cause long-term issues, but repeated incidents can lead to digestive problems. Consult your vet if this becomes a habit.

How can I train my dog to stop chewing on paper?

Teach the "leave it" command, provide plenty of appropriate chew toys, and keep papers out of reach. Consistent training and mental stimulation can help curb the behavior.

Can I still get a custom pet portrait if my dog has eaten part of the photo I wanted to use?

Absolutely! West & Willow can work with various photo qualities, or you can choose a different image if the original is too damaged. Your dog's portrait will still look paw-some!

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April 18, 2014

Contemporary Fiction , Education

The Dog Ate My Homework

It seemed like the most plausible excuse at the time: blame the new dog for eating up my now overdue essay. But then I just had to embellish...

Karen Donley-Hayes

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The fact of the matter was, I didn’t have anyone else to blame. So I blamed Roscoe–perhaps ill-advised, him being my father’s K-9 partner-in-waiting, but I had completely forgotten my homework. I wasn’t in the habit of lying or putting blame where it didn’t belong, but I was caught off guard–daydreaming about Roscoe, in fact. My third grade teacher now loomed over my desk, expectant, her hand outstretched, fingers wiggling. And in my deer-in-the-headlights stare, with Miss Underwood frowning down at me, the words blurted out all on their own.

“Roscoe ate it.”

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“What?” Miss Underwood scowled more, if that were possible. She planted her fists against her ample hips and leaned in, hovering over me.

I blinked, swallowed a spitless lump in my throat, and having already lied, promptly repeated myself. “Roscoe ate it,” I said with slightly more conviction.

Miss Underwood stood stiff, smack dab in front of my desk, so close I should have been able to smell the little flowers on her dress. I had an overpowering impulse to move away from her, but my chair shackled me to the spot. I stared at the vibrant gladiola sprouting out from beneath Miss Underwood’s belt, and felt the entire class’s attention span shake from all else and swoop down on me.

“Mister Pike. You are not lying to me, are you?” It was more a challenge than a question.

Miss Underwood absolutely terrified me–almost as much as did the prospect of acquiring the entire class’s ridicule or getting caught in a bald-faced lie–and such terror can be a remarkable survival mechanism, because my brain spun a web and my mouth spewed it out without so much as consulting with me. I sat, breathless and rapt with the rest of the class, listening to this story unfold.

“Oh, no ma’am,” a voice–my voice–poured out of me, my brain, frenetic, only barely keeping a syllable ahead of my mouth. “I wrote my report on the metamorphosis of tadpoles into frogs,” I heard. (It was a good thing I had recently become fascinated by this amphibious process and had not only been reading about it but observing it in the natural setting of our backyard.) “And I took the paper with me to the pond so that I could look at them and draw pictures to show the stages, and Roscoe came with me, and I had a tadpole on the top of the paper so I could trace it and Roscoe saw it and before I knew what happened he jumped on it and swallowed it whole, and the paper.”

I shifted my bug-eyed gaze up the floral landscape to the teacher’s face. Miss Underwood remained completely still.

“And the rock that I had holding the paper down,” my voice said. Her eye twitched, barely perceptible. “And the pencil I was using.” Her brows drew closer together. “And then it was dark, and I couldn’t draw them again, and then I had to do my chores and it was time for bed.”

Miss Underwood frowned, unwedged one hand from her hip and pointed at my chest. “You’d better be sure to get that dog to the vet, young man.”

“Yes, ma’am.” I nodded vigorously. “We’re taking him this afternoon.”

“Good,” she said. “And re-write your report and bring it in tomorrow. Along with a report on how Roscoe did at the vet’s.”

“Yes, ma’am,” I said, and wondered if the pittance I had in the Mason jar under my bed could buy me a plane, train, or boat ticket anywhere else in the world.

That afternoon, when I slouched from the school bus, Roscoe careened down the driveway to meet me, his half-grown legs all knobs and paws flying indiscriminately; he seemed none the worse for wear for his “misadventure” of the day before. I trudged up the driveway, the pup orbiting around me, bounding and panting, pausing only to wolf down my mother’s lone remaining gladiola. While my reporting of late had been very light on honesty, there was truth to the fact that Roscoe was a one-canine mauling, gulping, devouring, completely-nondiscriminatory eating machine. The gladiolas, much to my mother’s dismay, had vanished into his maw during a single galumphing frenzy; this was shortly after Roscoe had discovered the infinite wonders that the frog pond in the backyard held. Mom had admonished my father to restrain the dog. Dad had testified that socialization was critical to Roscoe’s mental development and future as a police dog. Mom declared her flowers unfair casualties. Dad promised to build a fence for her gardens (a moot point, as Roscoe had already decimated them).

The sound of my mother’s footsteps on the porch drew my attention; I looked up to see Roscoe gleefully caprioling by her side. She had her arms crossed over her chest, and was staring at me with an expression that immediately made me slow my already lethargic trudge.

“I hear Roscoe ate your homework,” she said. There was no tone of accusation or belief–or even disbelief, for that matter–just a simple statement. I stopped and looked up at her, and for two ticks of a heartbeat I was on the verge of coming clean. I steeled myself to admit my lie, to face the consequences, and to be a better man for it. During those two ticks of a heartbeat, Roscoe splayed himself on the porch and latched onto one of the banister posts, gnawing and grunting.

“Yes ma’am,” I said, and felt the heat rise under my collar as I lied to my own mother. I looked intently at Roscoe (who supported my story with his every action) to avoid looking in my mother’s eyes. I heard her sigh.

“Well, alright then. I called Dr. Brown’s office as soon as Miss Underwood phoned me, so let’s get things together and get going. Hopefully, he’ll be fine; it’s that rock I’m worried about.”

I nodded and walked up the porch steps, head down and ashamed, and slipped past my mother, past the squirming, euphoric mass of German shepherd enthusiasm. My mother stayed on the porch while I dropped my book bag on the kitchen table. Roscoe leapt up, flung himself against her legs. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her reach down idly and rub his head. He gazed up at her adoringly, his tongue lolling out of his mouth, wood splinters flecking his lips; his tailed swished nonstop across the porch.

“Maybe the paper and rock and all just went right through him,” I said, and hoped that if a dog actually were to eat a paper and a rock, they might actually move right along. Otherwise, I was going to be busted when the vet checked the dog out and declared him devoid of foreign objects. Not that I wanted him to have a problem; I didn’t, but his clean bill of health was my sentence. Granted, it was of my own making.

“I hope so,” Mom’s voice came in from the porch. I heard her add, under her breath, “Roscoe, you’re going to be the death of me if you live long enough.”

In the vet’s waiting room, I studiously worked on my tadpole-to-frog report, shielding it from Roscoe, who my mother worked up a sweat restraining. And when it was finally his turn to go in and be examined, and I was left with silence and the weight of my own guilt, I could barely remember the details of amphibian metamorphosis, much less write about them. Mom, quiet, read a paperback. The clock on the wall ticked off five minutes, 10, 15; the smell of the waiting room mixed with the odor of wet dog, cat pee, and rodent cage litter, and I began to feel nauseous.

“How’s your paper coming?” Mom asked. I shrugged. I sweated.

I was nearly to the point of breaking down and admitting my guilt, or at least bolting from the waiting room and into the parking lot, when Dr. Brown summoned us. Mom clutched her purse, and I drooped behind her, a condemned man going to the gallows. The vet brought us into the execution chamber, and closed the door. The harsh florescent lights gleamed, ruthless and all-seeing. Roscoe was not in the room to witness my punishment.

Dr. Brown cleared his throat. I felt a prickling thrill of sweat, and stared fixedly at the poster of canine parasites on the wall. “Well, we took x-rays of Roscoe, and we don’t see your rock or your paper.”

I couldn’t help a fleeting glance at the vet; he met my eyes for a beat, then looked over at Mom. “But it’s a good thing you brought him in, because we did see something else.”

I blinked, confused.

“Oh?” my mother said.

Dr. Brown turned his back to us, popped a thick sheet of film against a panel, and turned on the light behind it. Ribs and spine and gray masses flickered to light. Dr. Brown glanced over his shoulder toward us. Both Mom and I leaned toward the glowing image. Dr. Brown cleared his throat again and pointed to something in the middle of the picture. I looked closer, squinted, and then with a sting of recognition, I understood the image on the screen. My mother realized at the same time, and she chuffed, glancing sidelong at me.

“This,” Dr. Brown said, tapping the image of my G.I. Joe, recently MIA, “needs to come out. And it won’t come out the easy way like that rock did,” he glanced down at me again. “It will snag other things he swallows, and you’re going to have a bad emergency situation, maybe a dead dog.”

My mother reached for the collar of her blouse, pressed her hand flat. “Oh, no. Oh, poor Roscoe!”

My skin prickled again, but I wasn’t worried about my guilt and punishment anymore. “Will he be okay?” My voice sounded tiny and tremulous. “He won’t really die, will he?”

Dr. Brown smiled then. “No, I think we got him in time. We’ll put him on the surgery schedule for the morning, and he should be right as rain in a month’s time.” He reached a hand out and ruffled my hair. I realized I was crying. “In a way, it’s a good thing he ate your homework, otherwise you might not have found out about this until it was too late.”

I looked up at him lamely.

That weekend, Dad fenced off what was left of Mom’s gardens, I patrolled the entire house and yard and commandeered all swallowable objects (and even some that didn’t seem swallowable), and my folks and I discussed the new obedience regimen for Roscoe. When he came home a few days later, belly shaved but none-the-worse for wear, I doted on him and chaperoned him vigilantly. After a short period of gorging withdrawal, Roscoe adjusted gleefully to his obedience training, and was already ahead of the learning curve when he officially entered his police-dog training.

I was too ashamed to ever admit to my parents my panic-induced homework fabrication. I like to think that the guilt and anxiety I experienced for that long afternoon was punishment enough, and sometimes, I also like to think that it was all part of the plan for Roscoe’s long and decorated life. I like to think that, but I don’t believe it much more than Miss Underwood believed me.

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A Dog Ate My Homework

"I am telling you! A big, mean, homework eating dog attacked me and ate my report!" — Numbuh 5 , Codename: Kids Next Door

Basically, this is any child character explaining to their teacher why they haven't done his homework. This will be either a lie, which may or may not be believed, or a Cassandra Truth . If it is the latter, expect them to also bring in the evidence proving their case (such as moist bits from homework, or even the animal itself). Hilarity Ensues if student comes to school with hand in said dog’s mouth from an attempt to retrieve their homework. The most common variant involves a dog, but other animals can be used as well.

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• Noggin's promo for Sponk! where Bob tries to tell his teacher Mrs. Kralley this.
• In Futakoi , Nozomu is always wary whenever the goat is around when he's doing his homework. No one believes Nozomu because the little bastard is nice to everyone except him.
• Inverted in Kokuhaku Game , where the dog attempts to do the homework.
• In Pleasant Goat and Big Big Wolf : Joys of Seasons episode 36, Sparky and Weslie both have their homework stolen by Wolffy, and Paddi, who was too lazy to actually do the work, comes up with the excuse that Wolffy also stole his homework. Mr. Slowy notices they're all using the same excuse and doesn't believe them , instead threatening to punish them all if they don't hand in their homework.
• Cards Against Humanity features a question with this phrase and an empty spot in which to substitute something else for "dog". Naturally, given the nature of the game, this is very likely to enter the realm of Refuge in Audacity .
• Archie Comics : One Jughead comic's cover gag involves Jughead not submitting any homework because he ate it. Miss Grundy is in complete disbelief over his excuse. Grundy : Let me get this straight: You ate your own homework ? Jughead : I can't help it! All those word problems were about food!
• The Shea Fontana DC Super Hero Girls tie-in graphic novel Summer Olympus ends with Beast Boy using this excuse after seeing he can't top Wonder Woman's essay on what was done during summer vacation, with the twist that his dog is actually himself in dog form and he eats his own homework.
• Goof Troop : A Disney Adventures comic has PJ offering this excuse for his homework — although he has the sense to bring Chainsaw, still attached to said homework, with him.
• Viz has Playtime Fontayne use this excuse to explain his failure to deliver a bunch of monthly reports to head office.
• One strip has Nate eat bacon while at the bus stop because he missed breakfast. The bacon grease gets on his homework, local dog Spitsy smells it, and you can guess what happened from there. Nate: Wacky thing happened at the bus stop this morning... Mrs. Godfrey: I smell bacon.
• In a strip after that, Nate puts his homework in his backpack to keep it from happening again. When Spitsy gets near, he throws the bag away from the dog and shoos him away...only for the bag to land in a garbage can, then tossed into a garbage truck and crushed.
• A third strip in the arc has Nate make Francis film his homework, since Nate is aware at this point something will happen to it. Sure enough, it accidentally falls into the sewer, but Francis still has the tape... which is then snatched and destroyed by a rogue chimpanzee .
• Citizen Dog : Fergus the dig actually does eat Maggie’s homework. He has to accompany her to school to back up the story and prove she isn’t lying.
• One Close to Home strip has a student claiming his dog ate his term paper. The dog is attached to his arm.
• The Far Side : One cartoon has a class full of dogs with the teacher asking, "Well, here we go again... did anyone here not eat his or her homework on the way to school?"
• Subverted when Elizabeth tries to get Farley to eat her homework. He refuses to touch it.
• Later, Michael successfully gets Farley to eat his homework, but he has to pour bacon grease on it first.
• FoxTrot : Jason's iguana Quincy has eaten his and his siblings' homework, causing them to either force Jason to fix up their homework or tell Jason off for feeding the iguana the wrong homework assignment. In one strip, Peter collects the bits of homework left by Quincy to take to his teacher to prove it actually happened.
• Grand Avenue : In the October 6, 2014 strip, Michael has to tell his teacher that "My grandma ate my homework." For once, it's a logical explanation: his homework was an experiment involving rock candy.
• A dog sits in a classroom full of human kids saying: "I couldn't eat the homework because the kid who usually sits here did not do it."
• A dog teacher asks her dog students: "Did anyone's dad not eat their homework?"
• A kid brought an X-Ray machine to class to show the homework inside the dog.
• Luann : In one series of strips, Luann is babysitting while writing a report that is due the next day. Unfortunately, the baby gets a hold of the report, rips it up, and feeds it to Luann's dog. When Luann tries to explain what happened to her teacher the next day, he just laughs his head off at Luann thinking she's trying the "a dog ate my homework" excuse.
• Madam & Eve : This is Thandi's go-to excuse for not doing her homework.
• This happened a couple of times in Nancy (at least in the Guy Gilchrist-run). It usually involved Nancy bringing her dog, Poochie, to school with her to present it to her teacher as "proof" of what happened.
• One arc has Snoopy playing World War I Flying Ace and pretend that Sally's book report is sensitive papers. She chases him and he swallows the report to keep it from falling in "enemy hands". So she takes him to school the next day and takes him up in front of the class. Sally: I might have a little trouble reading it. *shakes Snoopy* I SAID...I might have a little trouble reading it!
• A 1995 strip has Rerun planning on using this excuse the first time he's assigned homework in grade school. Lucy points out that they don't have a dog, so he says he'll borrow one. Snoopy concedes that he might do it if he writes on something actually edible. Rerun: We don't have homework in kindergarten. Lucy: I know. You're lucky. Rerun: When we do, I'll tell the teacher my dog ate my homework. Lucy: You don't have a dog. Rerun: I'll borrow a dog. Snoopy: Write your homework on a doughnut, and I'll eat it.
• Inverted in another comic where, instead of eating Charlie Brown's homework, Snoopy actually writes it.
• Private Eye : One cartoon shows a boy with a tangle of shredded paper, explaining to the teacher that his mum spiralised his homework.
• Inverted in a cartoon published in a book of puzzles: a dog is ripping through a pile of papers, and a woman is screaming: "You stupid mutt! How am I supposed to tell my students that my dog ate their homework?"
• Red and Rover : Sometimes Red will coax Rover into eating his homework when he's afraid he'll do badly. One case ended with Red cleaning up the mess after Rover couldn't keep down all the edible bribes.
• ITS MY LIFE! : "Hey Scot yuo must do are homework an yurs but well eat yurs so you get a bad grad LOL!" My [mad dog] bros sayd an started to pump at me.
• Kill la Kill AU : The 17th comic mentions that the two-year old Mako ate Nui's homework because the latter spilled food on it.
• The MLP Loops : Loop 201.14 has an unAwake Apple Bloom tearfully and truthfully inform her teacher that (an also unAwake ) "Discord ate my homework, Miss Cheerilee." Cheerilee (with Fluttershy supervising) makes him redo the homework for her, and then some, as punishment.
• Oh God, Not Again! : Someone from Harry's year had to turn in their homework in tattered ruins, after the book Hagrid assigned for his class tried to eat it.
• Things I Am Not Allowed to Do at the PPC : Rule 304 prohibits teaching pets to eat assignments, under threat of death or being sent on a mission to a truly nasty badfic.
• Spider's Web: A Pig's Tale : In an inverted example, to keep his mother from finding out he didn't do his homework, Walt makes up a lie that his homework was busy eating a dog.
• 102 Dalmatians has an example not related to school. Probation Officer Chloe Simon wants one of her charges, Ewan, to show a pay stub and he says he can't because a dog ate it. Chloe, of course, doesn't believe him and asks if he couldn't come with a better story. He tells one about being abducted by aliens at Picadilly Circus. Ewan eventually shows a photograph of him and his boss at the dog shelter he works at and a drool-covered IOU note he received instead of the pay stub because the shelter is low on funds.
• What did the student say to his math teacher after his dog ate part of his homework? "I got 99 problems, but a bitch ate one."
• "Bob, where's your homework?" the teacher asked. "My dog ate it," Bob replied. "Do you really expect me to believe that?" the teacher said. "It's true," Bob responded. "I did have to cut it up and mix it into the dog food. But it was eaten."
• What did the dog say to his classmate? "Can you help me with my homework? I ate mine."
• The Cat Ate My Gymsuit : Marcy uses the title statement as one of her excuses for not participating in PE class.
• Thief of Time mentions that no dog dares to eat homework given to Susan's students. Instead, they sniff it out and carefully bring it to her class if the kid forgot. She's like that.
• It's mentioned that at Unseen University, your homework can eat your dog.
• Family Skeleton Mysteries : Discussed and subverted in the third book, Georgia needs an excuse to get in touch with a former co-worker (in order to get information on the murder victim), and decides to open the conversation by asking him for copies of the lesson plans they'd worked out together. She says that "I couldn't claim that Byron note  Her daughter Madison's dog. had eaten my homework, but nobody argued with a hard disk crash."
• Rod Allbright Alien Adventures : Book 1 is titled Aliens Ate My Homework (and they really did, too - one of them got hungry, and didn't realize the piece of paper he was snacking on was a math assignment due that day). It doesn't end well, but the aliens appreciate how the apparent Refuge in Audacity helped cover for the other weird things that were happening.
• Roys Bedoys : In “Stop Blaming People, Roys Bedoys!”, when Roys starts blaming others for why he didn’t do his homework, Truly jokingly asks if his dog (Charlie) ate it. Roys says, “Maybe he did”.
• Schooled in Magic : At Wizarding School , it's more common for the excuse to be "my homework ate my dog." It's still a cliche.
• The Trouble With Demons : A student tells his teacher that a Krog (a lesser demon that eats paper and ink) ate his homework. After a thorough quizzing from the teacher (who is the head of the demonology department) on the alleged Krog, the excuse is accepted.
• Batwoman (2019) : Lampshaded. Kate Kane in her Batwoman disguise finds herself making out with her ex-girlfriend Crow Security officer Sophie Moore, which is a bad idea for a whole lot of reasons . She goes to break up with her only for them to end up smooching again before events are interrupted by Sophie's homophobic mother paying a visit . The next day Kate gives an unconvincing explanation as to why things didn't go according to plan. Luke Fox says sarcastically, "So, dog ate my breakup?"
• Even Stevens : Ren Stevens, when having to be paired up with a Pig, ended up having her homework eaten by the pig. She tries to explain this to her teacher, with predictable results.
• Full House : In one episode, the Tanners' newly-acquired puppy Comet eats DJ's book report, but DJ is smart enough to know it won't fly even if it is the truth so she decides to tell her teacher Michelle ate it.
• One installment of It's Me or the Dog focuses on a family with kids and a Pomeranian-chihuahua mix with severe resource-guarding issues and a particular fondness for making off with paper. The narrator quips that these may be the only kids in the world who can literally say that the dog ate their homework.
• Married... with Children invoked this trope in an episode where Peggy goes Back to School because she didn't pass home economics ( no surprises there ). At a scene, a teacher asks the class to wake Kelly, who quickly responds that her dog ate her homework. Later on, when Peggy is introduced to class, both she and Kelly fall asleep and the teacher asks the class to wake them both, who respond that the dog ate their homework. Later, Al literally eats Peg's homework (a roast rack of lamb).
• M*A*S*H : A variant in a season 10 episode— Hawkeye gets in serious trouble because a goat ate the entire payroll (and, naturally, no one believes him; he is charged with stealing it). Later, Hawkeye is finally proved innocent when the goat subsequently eats a general's report on the issue.
• Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide : One episode has Ned giving tips on good excuses. He comments that saying a dog ate your homework is a bad excuse... right before a dog eats his homework. The rest of the episode has him trying to find the dog and convince his teacher Mr. Sweeney that he wasn't lying.
• Person of Interest : Inverted in a fourth-season episode where Bear eats Finch's students' papers before Finch can grade them.
• So Random! : The debut sketch of the apparent Bad Liar Rufus has him insist his dog ate his homework, then clarifies that a monkey took his homework and fed it to his dog. This turns out to be true, weirdly.
• Star Trek: Deep Space Nine : In " The Nagus ", Nog tries to explain why he hasn't done his homework. The only excuse he comes up with is that "Vulcans stole his homework".
• Superhuman Samurai Syber-Squad : In "A Virus Ate My Homework", unlike what the title might suggest, Sam's homework isn't eaten. His little sister paints it over. Fortunately, the emergency caused by the virus makes the students go home earlier, allowing Sam another day to redo the homework.
• Tattooed Teenage Alien Fighters from Beverly Hills : In one episode, one of the heroes was doing her homework when they've been called into battle. She then took the homework with her, eventually leading to the homework being eaten by the monster. The teacher later sarcastically asked if a dog ate her homework. She answered it was a monster and the teacher took it for sarcasm.
• Wizards of Waverly Place : Briefly mentioned in an episode when the Russos adopt a dragon that's been transformed into a beagle. At one point, the dragon dog sets Alex's homework on fire, to which she comments: "The dog burned my homework, that's a new one."
• The Wonder Years : In one episode, Kevin has to do a school assignment involving a potato. His new dog eats it, and the teacher reacts in disbelief that his dog ate his homework.
• The Unbelievable Truth : Invoked in Holly Walsh's lecture on dogs, where she claims George R.R. Martin's dog ate the manuscript for The Winds of Winter , possibly as a preemptive measure after having seen season 7 of Game of Thrones .
• Another Case Solved : The "Comic Calamities" case involves retrieving a rare comic book which, when the player character finds it, is missing a few pages. When you confront the artist about this, he babbles "My hamster ate them! Really!"
• Math Rescue : A couple of word problems feature this. One plays this straight with the logical consequence of the student having to redo their homework. The other turns it on its head by having the teacher's dog eat homework that said teacher was grading.
• Medieval Cop : This is the talking dog Phil's favorite excuse for missing notes or evidence.
• Persona 4 : The main character can eat his little cousin's science project.
• Rivals of Aether : In Lovers of Aether , Absa has a problem with her homework actually being eaten. By her .
• Forestdale : In a gambit to be excused from gym class, Izabell claims that her Dalmatian friend Dallas ate her gym clothes with a fake letter from her mom as proof. Needless to say, it doesn't work and Dallas calls her out on such blatant stereotyping.
• Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal , "Homework": "The dog ate my homework" gets a different meaning when the homework was to make a chocolate sculpture.
• In the HowToBasic episode "How to Do Homework", Mr. Basic tries to invoke this by giving his homework book to his dog. It doesn't work.
• A semi-reoccurring gag in early Monster High webisodes was Clawdeen, a werewolf, blaming her brother for eating her homework.
• Connected to the above, Jane notes that one of the obscure dates covered by the Calendar Man in Batman: Arkham City is Saint Roch's Day.
• Mentioned in episode 15 of RWBY Chibi when Ruby goes to get Zwei, she tells him "C'mon, let's go eat Weiss' homework!"
• The Amazing World of Gumball : Darwin and Gumball said their dad ate their homework. Naturally, no one believes them, and naturally they were right ("I thought it would make me smart! ")
• American Dragon: Jake Long : In "Fu and Tell", when Haley brings Fu Dog in to her class's show and tell, one boy asks Fu to eat his homework. Fu obliges, commenting, "Tastes like a D minus."
• Angela Anaconda : One episode has Angela's dog actually eat her homework (her mom accidentally spilled bacon grease on it while her dad was looking it over), but of course no one believes her.
• Animaniacs : This is a joke waiting to happen when the Warners attend school. Even when it was their first day. Turned out the dog was Wakko . Teacher: Bad dog! Gimme that! Wakko: Grrrr...
• Arthur : In one episode, the Brain deliberately flouts several superstitions to show there is nothing in them, then has a terrible streak of bad luck, including having a dog eat his homework, which causes him extra distress because he knows how the report will be received.
• Bad Dog : In "Bad Dog Ate My Homework", Penelope spent most of the episode trying to keep Berkeley from eating a hybrid plant that she grew for school.
• Beverly Hills Teens : In "The Dog Ate My Homework", the dog belongs to Bianca , and is sent by her deliberately in order to make Larke stay at home instead of competing against her. Also subverted, since for awhile, Larke's own cat is blamed, the homework was on a floppy, and there was no attempt to use the excuse.
• Catdog : One episode titled directly after the trope is devoted to the citizens of Nearburg making Dog eat their homework, which Cat exploits for their money. However, when the big one comes where Dog must eat the President's written speech before he has to give it, he becomes sick from his growing crisis of conscious, and Cat is forced to eat it himself. This turns out to be a bad decision as the entire crowd finds the idea of a cat eating homework ludicrous and boo the President off the stage (and back into the clowning business).
• ChalkZone : The villain Skrawl forces Penny into siding with him by threatening to have her homework eaten by a dog in "Chalk Queen".
• Codename: Kids Next Door : Numbuh Five has a genuine problem of her homework getting eaten every day by a dog she passes by on the way to school. She has enough and decides to take the problem head on. Turns out that it's a rival classmate who can morph into a weredog and eats Five's homework out of spite, and the teacher is in on it, too . And, even then, it's only because Numbuh Five has been helping Numbuh Four with his homework (since he usually does poorly in school.) This turns out to be useful for the KND because it turns out that poorly-done homework actually makes weredogs sick.
• Danger Mouse : In DangerMouse on the Orient Express , Penfold loses a valuable document to a hungry fish in a Venice canal. When he's captured by Greenback's agents he readily tells them that a fish ate the document. Nobody believes him.
• Dennis the Menace (UK) : In "The Show Mustn't Go On", Dennis claims that he had to feed his homework to a giant paper-eating alien bug to prevent it from destroying Beanotown.
• Doug : When the kids are performing in the school talent show, Skeeter plans to play an ocarina he made out of one of the school cafeteria's dinner rolls. He's forced to withdraw from talent show when Roger's cat, Stinky, accidentally eats it. Mr. Dink doesn't believe him. Mr. Dink : Not the old "cat ate my ocarina" excuse. At least be original.
• The Emperor's New School has a variant where Yzma plans on forcing Kuzco to give this excuse, and even lampshades on and exploits its Dead Horse status: Kronk : Come on, "A llama ate my homework"? It's the oldest excuse in the book. Yzma : Exactly! It's so old, no one will believe him.
• Referenced and narrowly subverted in the George Shrinks episode "Journey to the Centre of the Garden." George and Becky are recording the growth cycle of mung beans, but find their work impeded by birds pecking around. George manages to shoo one off, following it up with a quip: George : Who's gonna believe a bird ate our homework?
• Histeria! had a sketch detailing John Steinbeck's Of Mice and Men manuscript getting torn up (see Real Life folder), with kids everywhere congratulating him on inventing such a brilliant excuse.
• Jorel's Brother : In "Zazazila", the Extreme Omnivore dog Zazá eats Jorel's brother's essay about how he would change the world; his dad Edson even points out how the "lamest excuse ever" actually came true. Jorel's brother decides to make another identical essay... and puts a size-increasing pill inside it so he can enter the dog and get the essay back. While he does get it back eventually, Zazá had been a giant for long enough that she messed up the entire structure of the continents, a change that is kept permanent in the series.
• KaBlam! anthologized the Jetcat episode "Project: Evil" where Tod may have tell his teacher that the hyenas that threaten eat him ate his notebook.
• Kick Buttowski tells his teacher that a dog ate his homework, and it's the truth. A vicious little dog did (and is shown in Flashback ) eat his homework.
• Martha Speaks : In a between-episode segment, T.D. brings Martha the dog to school and asks her to say that she ate his homework. There's also a song sung by Helen saying that Martha ate her music homework, which she actually does in the episode "Martha Sings".
• ¡Mucha Lucha! : Before Rikochet can present his Day of the Dead diorama to class, his pet Masked Dog ate it. The fact that there was Pan de Muerto on it may have caused it.
• Pet Alien : "When TV Ruled the World" has Tommy get an F after Gumpers ate his homework. Apparently, the teacher didn't take "aliens ate my homework" as a valid excuse.
• Puff the Magic Dragon : In Puff in the Land of Living Lies , Sandy lies to her teacher that a dragon stole her homework and ate it with ketchup and mustard. At the beginning of the special, Puff acts out this lie, before explaining that it was a lie.
• Recess : TJ tries to have his teacher believe this showing his homework shredded and drooled (which was done by him and never started the assignment). She didn't believe it since he still had a scrap of paper on his lip. In the same episode, Spinelli uses the typical "dog ate it" response, and Vince claims his brother ate it . Vince: My brother ate it! Miss Grotke: Eaten by a family member? That's a new one .
• The Secret Files of The Spy Dogs had Sheela's dog eating her homework... on purpose. Because she has accidentally created a formula that seizes the king-side doggie food packs, Von Rubie tries to rewrite the homework from scratch, but when his mistress arrives... Needless to say, the trope happens, as well as Rubie escaping through the window.
• In " Bart the Murderer ", the dog really did eat Bart's homework just before he left for school. "You ate my homework? ... I didn't know dogs really did that."
• When the family dog, Santa's Little Helper, starts working for the police, Bart has no choice but to eat his own homework.
• In an episode where Bart's teacher starts dating Ned Flanders and saw Santa's Little Helper, she asked Bart if that's the dog that eats his homework. Trying to convince her by giving the dog a homework for him to eat. The dog refuses. Bart then covers the homework with dog food. The dog ate the food, cleaned the paper, and signaled the answer of a math question.
• When Bart is nominated for class president and asked to give a speech, he says the dog ate his speech.
• SpongeBob SquarePants : Some children's homework fell victim to the Alaskan Bullworm on the corresponding episode .
• Tales from the Cryptkeeper : There's a boy who, instead of using a dog, uses a monster as an excuse. He tells a homework-eating monster another monster showed up before. After a trip to monster land, the boy confesses and the monster takes him home and makes him do two homeworks: one to be eaten and another one to be taken to school.
• Uncle Grandpa : "Uncle Grandpa Ate My Homework" begins with the title character eating a boy's diorama of Ancient Egypt, which he needed to pass the class. Naturally, Uncle Grandpa tries to help, and naturally things go horribly wrong.
• What A Cartoon! Show : One short has a cowboy telling his teacher his dog ate his homework. Obviously, she doesn't believe him, but he tries to prove it by pulling out a dog chewing on a piece of loose-leaf paper. The teacher responds by lecturing him on bringing pets to class.
• Many dogs like to chew on things and some find that textbooks and other homework actually are worth eating.
• This trope has been slowly replaced with "My printer broke" or "My email stopped working" in high schools. For adults, it's something like, "my social media was hacked", when they post something controversial.
• A T-shirt available on Threadless features an X-ray of a dog. Inside the dog is a math book, a protractor, a pencil, and so on.
• If you take a culinary class, this is a very real possibility. And it might not just be the dog. You might have to say, "My roommate ate my homework."
• While filming Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom , Steven Spielberg literally had to fill out an insurance claim for one of the costumes with the words " dress eaten by elephant ". It can almost be seen in the movie, during the campfire at night scene - the elephant's head is just out of frame as it's eating the dress in front of the entire crew, who are somehow not bursting into laughter.
• "My dog ate my homework" is gradually giving way to "My bird ate my homework." Nobody is quite sure why birds such as cockatiels are so compelled to nibble on loose papers.
• John Steinbeck had to rewrite half of Of Mice and Men after his dog Toby partially destroyed the first manuscript.

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GREG BUSTIN’S

Executive leadership blog.

My Dog Ate My Homework… and Other Excuses

September 1st, 2015  | 

It’s back to school season.

Whether you’re a student or a business executive, the back-to-school vibe is noticeable in classrooms, cubicles and conference rooms as calendars fill more quickly, cooler weather energizes behavior, and new assignments adopt an increasing sense of urgency.

The period between Labor Day and Thanksgiving is my busiest time of year as I work with leadership teams in strategic planning sessions to help colleagues agree on priorities, responsibilities, and action items for the coming year and beyond.

Last year in Forbes Leadership Forum, I discussed why most company strategic plans fail . One reason is lack of accountability.

Talk is Cheap

Part of what makes accountability difficult is that when you work with smart people and things don’t get done well or on time, you often are handed excuses.

No organization—not even high-performing organizations— is immune from the well-crafted excuse. What separates high-performing organizations from all the others is the way in which excuses are handled.

“My dog ate my homework” is an excuse that sprang from a 1905 anecdote about a minister temporarily filling in for another minister.

At the time, William ApMadoc, a contributor to the Welsh journal The Cambrian , indicated the initial punchline had more to do with brevity than an excuse for non-performance.

In ApMadoc’s telling, a visiting minister asked a clerk how his sermon had been received, and, in particular, whether it had been long enough. Upon hearing from the clerk the length was sufficient, the minister replied that just before the service his dog had eaten some of the paper on which the sermon was written. “Well,” replied the clerk, who felt his regular preacher’s sermons could be shorter, “couldn’t you give our vicar a pup from your dog?”

It was not until 1965 in Bel Kaufman’s best-selling novel Up the Down Staircase that students blamed their failure to complete an assignment on their dogs.

Since then, “My dog ate my homework” has become code in and out of classrooms for a lame excuse.

In the workplace, time, talent and treasure (money) are the three commodities every organization has in common, and here’s what lack of accountability sounds like:

Time I put out fires all day, so there’s no time to work on my stuff. Our deadlines are unrealistic. The deadline was unclear. I spend my time doing my boss’s work. I spend my time doing work my staff should be doing. I spend my time on tactical—not strategic—work. We can’t always get it right the first time but we can make time to fix it. There’s no sense of urgency around here. I ran out of time. His performance will improve with time.

Talent We don’t have the right people. We don’t have enough people. We don’t have enough of the right people. The people on our team can’t think for themselves. He let me down. These people don’t report to me, so their work is not my fault. I didn’t know I was allowed to make that decision. I didn’t understand the assignment. It wasn’t my job. The changes we made are preventing me from getting things done. My team won’t like me if I confront their performance issues. People here are not team players. That person is a family member and the rules don’t apply to her. We can’t keep our best people so we are not very effective.

Treasure We underprice what we sell so we can’t staff properly. We can’t agree on priorities so our budgets are spread too thin. Our customers beat us up on price so we can’t charge more. We are constantly being asked to do more with less, including more work for the same salary. Money is tight so we can’t hire the people we need.

It’s a vicious circle, and the excuses are infinite.

Talk is cheap so we often buy it. When we do, accountability suffers.

Moving from Excuses to Accountability

As leaders, we get the behavior we tolerate. So when it comes to holding people accountable, we are often our own worst enemy.

That was my story.

Despite achieving record financial results year over year, the firm I founded and led could have accomplished more. There would have been more fun and less drama if I knew then what I know now about accountability.

At the time, I accepted excuses that sounded logical even when I knew better. I allowed emotions to cloud my decision making. I delayed having a conversation with my underperforming partner because it was easier to avoid a difficult conversation than having one. Instead of practicing accountability, I practiced avoidance.

By the time I asked my partner to leave, I had learned three valuable lessons:

• Clear expectations must be established. I assumed my partner and I both had the same definition of success. We didn’t. My failure to set clear expectations meant evaluating his performance was subjective. Excuses were plentiful, performance was lacking and accountability was non-existent. When your purpose, expectations, and rewards are crystal clear, your employees will embrace accountability as a way to become even more successful. The opposite is also true: If you are not clear about everything—vision, values, objectives, strategy, rewards, and, yes, penalties—the likelihood of achieving your vision is slim.
• Bad news does not improve with age. I avoided discussing my partner’s performance issues for too long because I assumed his performance would improve. Now I know that as soon as you see a problem, it’s best to address it immediately. Failure to speak frankly with the person about his or her performance means nothing will change.
• It’s not personal. Yes, you’re talking with a person, but leave excuses, emotions, and opinions behind. Stick to the facts, set a plan to get performance back on track, and communicate specific consequences for underperformance. If underperformers require termination, do it professionally and move on.

The day after we separated, my partner called to say he appre­ciated the straightforward, professional, and respectful manner in which I had handled our final meeting.

Even though these com­ments reflected well on his gracious acceptance of tough news, they reminded me that everyone feels better when accountability issues are addressed.

Excuses are substitutes for effort.

As a leader, be careful you’re not creating excuses for yourself over a difficult decision that is yours alone to make.

Download my Free eBooks on Accountability

About the Author: Greg Bustin advises some of the world’s most admired companies and leaders, and he’s dedicated a career to working with CEOs and the leadership teams of hundreds of companies in a range of industries. He’s facilitated more than 250 strategic planning sessions, he’s delivered more than 600 keynotes and workshops on every continent except Antarctica, and he coaches leaders who are inspired to take their career to the next level. His fourth leadership book— Accountability: The Key to Driving a High-Performance Culture (McGraw-Hill) —is a Soundview Executive Best Business Book.

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Having to explain to my professors that my dog ate my homework despite being in all online classes has been fun.

My dog ate my homework. Tab

Artificial insignificance.