what to write in a bat mitzvah speech

Amen V'Amen

Traditional Judaism Meets Modern Judaism

Home » Bar/Bat Mitzvah Speech from Parents & Family: Step by Step + Examples

Bar/Bat Mitzvah Speech from Parents & Family: Step by Step + Examples

Your child’s big day is around the corner…

I bet you’re excited… it’s a big day!

But hang on a sec…

Are you excited because it’s your child’s Bar/Bat Mitzvah?

Or are you excited (read: terrified ) because you’d like to give your son/daughter a nice Bar/Bat Mitzvah speech, but you have NO IDEA what to say (or where to start)?

I’m about to show you exactly how to write a terrific Bar/Bat Mitzvah speech – step by step (without putting your guests to sleep in the process).

Note: This guide is useful not just for parents. Any family member who’s looking to write a speech for the Bar/Bat Mitzvah: parents, grandparents, siblings, friends… you name it.

Note 2:  I also wrote a similar guide that helps  Bnai Mitzvah write their speech . Feel free to send it to them if they could use some help. 

Table of Contents

Creating the Speech Outline

Got your pen and paper ready?

Ready to write a speech that’ll make Stephen King’s novels look like children’s books? 

Hold your horses there, tiger!

Before you start burning the midnight oil, you might want to start off with a plan first.

After all… you wouldn’t build a house without drawing a blueprint first, now would you?

So why would you start writing without an outline?

A speech outline gives you structure. And it’s that structure that can save you hours of staring at a blank piece of paper trying to figure out what to write (or say).

Been there, done that, don’t recommendat.

Now… my spider senses tell me that you’re wondering: “OK, genius… how do I create an outline?”

Thankfully, you don’t have to reinvent the wheel. Here’s an outline you can use to write your Bar/Bat Mitzvah speech:

Note: I included a bunch of Bar/Bat Mitzvah speech examples at the end of this article that follows this precise outline.

• Thank everyone for coming . Mention a few names you’d like to personally thank (like your family who traveled from a distance to celebrate with you, your in-laws if you want them to finally like you, or your boss if you’d like to improve your odds of a promotion)
• Start your speech with a hook to capture your guest’s attention (they’re probably on their phones)
• Optional: Slip in a joke if it makes sense (like I just did above).
• Tell a personal story that relates to your son/daughter. Focus your story on your son/daughter’s qualities and likes.
• Optional: Throw a joke or two in the middle.
• Optional: Include a Dvar Torah
• Bless your son/daughter . Tell them how much you love them, and how much you’re proud of them.
• Wish everyone a pleasant evening
• Optional: Wrap it up with another joke for good measure

Now that we’ve got a rough outline – time to think of what we actually want to say.

Brainstorming: Collecting Notes, Ideas & Stories (and Jokes)

This is the fun part…

This is where you  brainstorm & collect everything you’d like to say to your son/daughter on their special day:

• Personal stories & anecdotes from the past
• Lessons, analogies, and metaphors
• Blessings & wishes

Let the creative juices flow.

Feeling stuck? Here are a few places you can draw inspiration from:

• Start with listing “bad” ideas . Good ideas often come from bad ones.
• Go for long walks & take long showers. Cliché, but it works.
• Ask your spouse for ideas. Who else knows your son/daughter (perhaps even better than you do)? Possibly your spouse…
• Ask your son/daughter . Who knows your son/daughter better than you AND your spouse? Yep – your son/daughter. Since it’s their Bar/Bat Mitzvah and you’re about to talk about them, who better to ask than the actual man/woman of the hour?
• See what other parents wrote for their children’s Bar/Bat Mitzvah . Use the example speeches I included below for some inspiration.

Got some notes & ideas written down?

Awesome… now, lock yourself in your office… because you’re about to start writing!

Writing the Speech

3…2…1 – start writing!

Now that you’ve collected a bunch of stories, ideas, and jokes – it’s time to put them all together and start writing your speech.

Here are a couple of writing tips you can use to write your Bar/Bat Mitzvah speech:

1. Write like you speak

Remember English class?

Good… now throw the textbook out the window and do the EXACT opposite.

Our natural tendency is to try and impress others with our fancy writing, trying to make Shakespeare proud. As a result – you end up walking to the fridge every 2 minutes to check “what’s new” (or worse – you open Facebook) = a.k.a writer’s block .

But here’s the thing…

When you give a speech – you shouldn’t sound like an English professor… you should sound like YOU.

Counter-intuitive, ain’t it?

Could you imagine people listening to your speech, and halfway through wondering: “ who the hell does this guy think he is ?!”

Bottom line : Write like you speak, Bevakasha…

2. Don’t write and edit at the same time.

When you write – write. When you edit – edit.

Writing and editing are 2 different mental processes. Don’t make the classic error of mixing the two of them together – you’ll just slow yourself down and drive yourself crazy.

3. Start with writing the body , then write the intro & wrap up

This is the 80/20 rule in practice: the body of your speech will be around 80% of your speech, so you better start there…

Once you’ve got the body written down:

• You can write your speech intro and smoothly transition into the speech body.
• You can write your speech wrap-up and smoothly transition from the speech body.

It’s like making a tuna sandwich: first, you prepare the tuna, then you wrap it up with the bread.

4. Don’t be boring!

Make your speech short & sweet, not long & tedious. People have short attention spans. If you start rambling endlessly you’ll notice people start to yawn and reach for their phones (if it’s not Shabbat).

Tip: Check out the “Practice, Practice, Practice” section below to make sure you don’t turn it into a snooze-fest.

Take Jacob Green, a Jewish young man from Florida. His little sister recently celebrated her Bat Mitzvah – and his father took the opportunity to play a few jokes on Jacob and his siblings:

“Rachel, I think you know this, but you’re the favorite. And you aren’t just our favorite, sometimes I think you’re everyone’s favorite. Wherever we go, the beach, the supermarket, a hotel – when we leave they’re always seem to be saying ‘bye Rachel,’ or ‘thanks for playing Rachel!’”

But does that mean you have to be a stand-up comedian to not be boring?

Heck no! You can give a terrific speech without forcing your awkward jokes on people.

5. Don’t force jokes if they’re not funny!

Don’t force the joke – spare us the “a Jew and a Muslim walk into a bar” kind of jokes. The joke should either be relevant to what you’re saying or not be said at all.

Embarrassing your son/daughter on their Bar/Bat Mitzvah is a big no-no. You’ll have to live with the consequences (and probably make it up to them with one hell of a Bar Mitzvah gift ).

Editing the Speech

Hooray! You’ve got your first draft written down. Now, it’s time to edit it.

This is where you turn a blurb of text into something worth reading (or in this case, something worth listening to).

Many people don’t know this, but the real magic happens in the editing, not in the writing.

There’s a reason why newspapers and publications have both writers and editors on their payroll… And can’t succeed without the other.

Now, I don’t expect you to hire an editor to write a speech. Unfortunately (or fortunately) you’ll be the writer, editor, and in this case – also the speaker.

Don’t worry, I like keeping things simple.

In fact, to edit your speech effectively – all you have to do is remember RRRR (the 4 R’s) :

• Remove: Get rid of words or sentences you don’t need
• Rewrite: Rewrite complicated sentences to make it sound natural. Remember – this is a speech, not a college essay. Leave the complicated words out.
• Reorder: If a sentence breaks the natural flow of the speech, try moving it someplace else
• Repeat: Repeat until you’re satisfied.

Finally, proof read your speech to make sure it sounds good. Notice I highlighted the “read” part. This is a speech you’ll actually read out loud, not just submit to the local newspaper. Make sure it reads properly.

Tip: Don’t be a perfectionist about it. Your speech should sound authentic, not like a 1980’s radio news report.

Practice, Practice, Practice

Repetition breeds skill.

No, I didn’t hit CTRL+C and CTRL+V 3 times by accident. This was intentional – to illustrate how crucial it is to practice your speech and repeat it several times .

Here are a couple of speaking tips to keep in mind while you practice:  

1. Time yourself

Measure how long the speech takes.

Ideally, you’d want to keep it somewhere between 3-10 minutes. Otherwise, your guests will get impatient and bored (otherwise you’ll have to make it up to them with some pretty cool Bar/Bat Mitzvah souvenirs )

If it’s too long, edit your speech and try to make it shorter and snappier (remember RRRR ).

Your mirror is your friend. Practice giving your speech several times in front of the mirror, until it sounds “right”.

Tip: Your spouse is your 2 nd best friend (that sounded weird). Read your speech to your spouse to give you some cold-hearted truth.

2. Look at your son/daughter and your guests, not at your notes

If you haven’t practiced your speech properly – you’ll constantly go back and forth between your son/daughter, your guests and your notes.

That’s why practicing your speech is so important.

You’ll want to memorize your speech to the point where you (almost) know your speech by heart.

That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have your notes with you when you speak. But use it as a helper, not as a guide.

3. Speak with emotion

You’re probably already emotional, so that should be easy.

Just don’t be afraid to show it.

Note: Yes, I’m talking to you dads out there who don’t like to show their feelings.

4. Match your body language and tone of voice to the words you’re saying

People overestimate the importance of the words and underestimate the importance of tone and body language.

A famous study from 1967 (!) showed that words are responsible for only 7% of personal communication (feelings and attitudes), while body language and tone of voice are responsible for 55% and 38% respectively.

• If you’re sharing a personal story – speak with emotion.
• If you’re telling a joke, tell it with a smile on your face.
• If you’re sharing a sad story, speak gently (and wipe that smile off your face).

In other words: don’t be a robot.

5. Be yourself

Be authentic. Don’t try to sound like someone you’re not.

Say what you feel and feel what you say.  

Bar/Bat Mitzvah Speech Examples

Bar mitzvah speech example #1:.

This Jewish mother from LA shared the unique speech she gave her son, a computer gamer, for his Bar Mitzvah.

Take Notes: Notice how she uses a combination of stories, analogies, metaphors (from the Gaming world, of all places!).

Hello everyone and thank you so much for joining us for Michael’s Bar Mitzvah.

Now, I know for most of you, this isn’t your first time at the rodeo.

But for myself, my husband, and my extended family, Michael is the first Bar Mitzvah in decades!

I also know that many of the friends that have joined us here today have never been to a Bar Mitzvah or if they have they might not realize the whole tradition of the Bar Mitzvah ceremony . So I thought I would spend a little bit of time explaining what a Bar Mitzvah is, why we do it, what we are celebrating, and so on and so forth.

In essence, a Bar Mitzvah is the beginning of a child’s spiritual maturity. When boys are younger than age 13, and 12 for girls because everyone knows girls are more mature than boys, they are unaware of their spiritual selves. But after 12 and 13, a child, now a very young adult, can begin to form their morals, their values, and their spiritual beliefs.

Michael has been studying Hebrew and the Torah for pretty much his entire life. He actually had to memorize his Torah portion in order to be able to read it up here at the bimah!

As someone who has a terrible time remembering things, I find this feat to be extraordinary. But honestly, according to his father and I, Michael pretty much HAD to have a Bar Mitzvah. Everything in his life has been more or less controlled by myself, his father and to a certain extent his teachers and rabbis. Up until now, Michael’s life hasn’t really been fully his.

But now Michael is 13! He is leaving behind the era of being a child completely run by adults and is beginning to be able to spread his wings.

Like me, Michael was born wanting to control his life more than either his father or I really wanted him to. And now, finally Michael, you can begin to take control of your life starting with figuring out what kind of man you want to be.

The foundation of your morality has already been built through 13 years of teaching from your parents and from learning about Judaism. Now is the time you will learn who you really want to be and what kind of man you will become. But the good news is you don’t have to do this alone.

Even though you are now free to make more decisions on your own, you still have us, your family and your community to be here to help you when you get stuck. You have a wealth of love and knowledge sitting right here, celebrating you and your life!

The beauty of a Bar Mitzvah is it is the ending of one part of your life – being a child – and the beginning of the next chapter – learning how to truly be a good adult.

• Instead of just sitting in class and learning, you are now able to teach those who are younger than you.
• Instead of memorizing lines from your parsha , you can now begin to understand the meaning behind them and start to question things.

You are someone that has always needed to know what the boundaries are in any given task. You are now free to create some of those boundaries yourself instead of waiting for someone to tell you what they are!

Turning 13 means you’ll be able to fulfill more Mitzvot, such as the wearing of Tefillin …

The purpose of the Tefillin is to, besides becoming closer to G-d, connect the heart and the mind together.

As they say in the Spider-Man comics, “with great power comes great responsibility”.

Michael, you’re now about to begin a new era in your progression as a man.

The Tefillin isn’t another thing you have to do because you are Jewish and your father and I said so, it is a want to. You can choose to put it on, or not. But as someone who was born already possessing the abilities the Tefillin will help you acquire, let me tell you – it is worth it.

Frankly, I believe you, Michael, have already begun to develop as a man. Your growth this past year in school has been absolutely remarkable. Your father and I did our best to figure out how we could best support you as an individual, but ultimately the hard work was entirely up to you. And you did it!

Watching you blossom this year has been one of the most rewarding things I have seen in my life and I am honored that Hashem has blessed me with such a wonderful son.

Now I have a story for you:

This was back in the early sixties when the first mainframe computers were being introduced into business. Professor Abraham Polichenco, a pioneer in computer technology, visited the Lubavitcher Rebbe and posed a question to him:

“I know that everything that exists in the world, even something that we discover later in history, has its source somewhere in the Torah. So, where are there computers in the Torah?”

Without hesitation, the Rebbe answered, “Tefillin.” The professor was perplexed.

“What’s new about a computer?” the Rebbe continued. “You walk into a room and you see many familiar machines: A typewriter, a large tape recorder, a television set, a hole puncher, a calculator. What is new?

“But under the floor, cables connect all these machines so they work as one.”

The professor nodded enthusiastically. He hadn’t realized it before, but yes, this is all that a computer is: A synthesis of media and processing devices.

“Now look at your own self. You have a brain. It is in one world. Your heart is in another. And your hands often end up involved in something completely foreign to both of them. Three diverse machines.

“So you put on Tefillin. First thing in the day, you connect your head, your heart and your hand with these leather cables — all to work as one with one intent. And then when you go out to meet the world, all your actions find harmony in a single coordinated purpose.”

Michael, I know how much you adore computers and gaming. So, I am going to take the analogy of computers and Judaism a little bit further than the Rebbe did. I believe one could make an argument, that being a Jew is the ultimate in computer gaming!

You laugh but hear me out.

What is it about playing games on the computer that makes you so passionate about it? I think one of the reasons is the feeling of community you get when you’re working with your friends on a team to beat another set of virtual characters.

Judaism has the same thing! When we celebrate Shabbos every Friday night and make the prayers on the candles and bread and wine, we’re connecting to every other Jewish person on the earth who are also doing the exact same thing we are doing.

Do you remember the scene in Harry Potter when all of the good guys raise their hands up towards the sky and the light blows away the evilness of Voldemort?

That is kind of what I think happens when we light the candles on Friday night. The spirit of every Jew working together will be what brings Mashiach, right?

Another thing you enjoy playing video games is the challenge of learning how to win at the various levels. One more level mom! Turns out Judaism has the same thing!

The Zohar, otherwise known as the Jewish book of mysticism explains:

Viewed from the point of view of man’s service to G‑d, the levels of the soul may be described as five ascending levels of awareness of, and communion with, G‑d. They are called (in ascending order) Nefesh, Ruach, Neshama, Chaya, and Yechida. Regarding these levels of soul, the Zohar states that when a person is born, he’s given a Nefesh from the world of Asiya, the lowest world, representing the greatest concealment of G‑d.

If through his divine service and proper action, he makes himself worthy, he is then given Ruach on the plane of Yetzira. With greater effort, he can earn the revelation of Neshama, paralleling the world of Beriya. If he purifies himself greatly, he may be able to attain the level of Chaya paralleling Atzilut, and even Yechida — the G‑d consciousness of the level of Adam Kadmon and beyond.

Look, I barely understand what any of that means! But I DO know that if you continue to study and learn Torah, continue to be a good person and choose the right thing to do, you will eventually “level up” with your commitment and connection to G-D. And THAT is really something!

Michael, when you “win” a computer game, that gives you a strong sense of accomplishment. You DID something! You WON! Judaism can do the same thing for you. When you choose to eat a kosher meal, you are automatically winning! When you put on tefillin, you are winning! When you come to service and daven, you are winning! There are so many ways, 613 to be exact, that you can “win” at

Judaism! Now THAT is a game worth playing!

So, as I have just explained to you, Torah is really the ultimate “game”. One that I think you excel at playing. So today, on your Bar Mitzvah, I hope you understand that this is the ending of your have-to’s and the beginning of your want-to’s.

And if you choose to continue with your Jewish learning, there is no telling what you can accomplish.

Michael, I love you with all of my heart. I am so proud of you and may you be blessed with health and happiness for all the days of your life!

Bar/Bat Mitzvah Speech Example #2: Short, Sweet & Funny

This is a speech given by Ronny, a father from Hartford, CT, who gave this speech on his son’s Bar Mitzvah.

Take Notes: Notice the witty jokes and the length of this speech: short, sweet and to the point.

Thank you, everyone, for joining us tonight in celebrating our beloved son’s Bar Mitzvah.

If you don’t mind, I’d like to say a few words to Yosef…

My dear son Yosef,

You’re celebrating your coming of age today… and because of that, look what happened – you forced your family from all over the world to come to your Bar Mitzvah.

But don’t worry, they have nothing to complain about. You’re our one and only son.

Could you imagine if they had to fly over and over again?

Yosef, I don’t know if you know how proud I am of you and everything you’re doing:

For those of you who don’t know: Yosef is at the top of his class, at the top of his Judo team and pretty much everywhere else.

Everyone knows that and sees that… But what no one sees is the hard work you put into everything do.

You’re a very talented young man… but talent can only get you so far in life.

It’s the talent, combined with your hard work that makes you so successful.

Sometimes your mother and I argue who you got it from (clearly, it came from me).

You inspire us and everyone around you to do dream big and do greater things.

And let me tell you…

In fact, I PROMISE you: if you keep working hard throughout your life, you’ll achieve amazing things… in life, in Torah, in Judo, everywhere…

Hard work – works.

I’m so proud of everything you’ve accomplished, and everything you’ll accomplish in the future.

I’m proud to be your father. Or, rather, I’m proud that you are my son…

I’ll always be in your corner and be your biggest cheerleader (I might even dance like one and embarrass you in front of your friends if I drink too much tonight)

Your mother and I love you very much… Forever and always!

Bar/Bat Mitzvah Speech Example #3: The “Non-speech” Speech

Who said you have to give a speech, to begin with?

Miriam Snyder, a cantorial soloist from LA, gave me an interesting example from her son’s Bar Mitzvah:

You don’t have to make your guests cry on purpose… but hey, if you’re America’s next rising star (or whichever country you’re from) – then go hit the stage!

More Bar/Bat Mitzvah Speech Examples

Take a look at this Bat Mitzvah speech given by famous TV & game show producer, Bob Boden (The Chase, Jeopardy & others):

Take Notes:  He uses his TV persona in his daughter’s blessing. Short, witty and emotional all at the same time.

Here’s a good example of a father telling the emotional story of his Bar Mitzvah being born. Notice the authenticity in his story, and the way he masterfully uses his tone of voice with the words he’s saying.

Take Notes:  Storytelling at its best: authentic, engaging and entertaining.

See… that wasn’t so bad, was it?

Writing a great Bar/Bat Mitzvah speech is easy if you have the right system.

Simply follow the steps in this article, and you’ll have an awesome speech ready in no time.

Note: It will definitely take you less time than it took me to write this article 🙂

And after you’re done writing your speech – I’d love for you to share it in the comments below… I’ll be more than happy to add it to the article!

How does that sound? 🙂

You May Also Like

13 Gorgeous Dresses for the Mother of a Bar/Bat Mitzvah (2022)

24 Unique Bar/Bat Mitzvah Party Ideas on a Budget (2022)

10+ Bar/Bat Mitzvah Symbols & Signs (And What They Really Mean)

One thought on “ bar/bat mitzvah speech from parents & family: step by step + examples ”.

i am looking for a funny poem for my brother yaakov his bar mitzvah is this week on friday night but i want a funny poem

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Crafting the Perfect Parent Bar/Bat Mitzvah Speech

by Rabbi Danielle G. Eskow | Aug 24, 2023 | Life Cycle Events , Uncategorized

The Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremony is a significant milestone in a young child’s life, marking his/her transition into adulthood according to Jewish tradition. As parents, it’s natural to feel immensely proud of your child and want to express your love and admiration through a heartfelt speech. This blog post offers a parent Bar/Bat Mitzvah speech sample, along with tips to guide you through crafting the perfect Bar/Bat Mitzvah speech, ensuring this special day is unforgettable for your child, family, and friends.

Short Summary

Parents must understand the importance of crafting a memorable Bar/Bat Mitzvah speech for their child.

Incorporate humor, emotion and personal anecdotes to create an inspiring and personalized speech.

Follow tips such as finding your voice, practicing regularly & incorporating Jewish values & traditions into your presentation.

Creating a Memorable Bar/Bat Mitzvah Speech

Creating a speech that will be remembered for many years is key to making an impression at a Bar/Bat Mitzvah. As parents, it’s important to share their child’s journey through life so far as well as express pride and thank family members and friends who have been supportive during the process. A memorable address can touch everyone present on such a special day in the boy’s life, leaving them with memories they won’t soon forget.

To craft this unforgettable moment effectively, it is vital to know what makes great Bar/Bat Mitzvah speeches: understanding parent roles in celebration events while including crucial components which bring emotion into play – all of these working together result in oration success!

The Role of Parents

Parents are essential to their child’s Bar and Bat Mitzvah celebration. This ceremony marks a spiritual transformation from child into young adult by instilling values and convictions as they enter adulthood.

The role of parents is crucial when it comes time for speech delivery at this special occasion. Words that express love and pride combined with accomplishments achieved throughout life will make your remarks memorable. Demonstrating encouragement in them maturing religiously makes it even more significant, which undoubtedly leaves an indelible impression on guests present at the event honoring your wonderful child!

Key Elements of a Great Speech

Creating a great Bar mitzvah or Bat mitzvah speech involves integrating humor, emotion and personal memories to captivate the crowd. Keep it succinct yet informative with an introduction, body and closing which will make a great D’var Torah. Acknowledge those who have helped you along the way, such as family members and friends, by expressing gratitude for their support. To gain ideas on how to deliver this powerful message, check out online examples of what other people used for successful speeches in years past. With these components combined there’s sure to be appreciation from all in attendance celebrating your child’s growth into adulthood impacting them positively throughout life moving forward

Enroll in a Learning Program Today!

Our programs provide meaningful Jewish learning for everyone. Give Online Jewish Learning a try.

Parent Bar Mitzvah Speech Examples

We have collected several examples of Bar Mitzvah speeches, which will help guide and motivate you in creating your own. These showcases illustrate the wide-ranging possibilities for constructing a speech that is reflective of your child’s unique history and character.

From deeply emotional to comical renditions, there truly is something available for every individual. To assist with conveying an address reflecting on this momentous occasion, these samples provide helpful insight into how to curate words specific to your recipient’s life story while simultaneously pleasing all who are present at the celebration!

Heartfelt and Emotional

For a truly special family moment, an emotive and touching speech is necessary to capture the audience’s attention. Incorporating storytelling along with humor or anecdotes can make your talk more memorable by highlighting your child’s remarkable qualities and accomplishments while also showcasing how important this event really is. It should be genuine in order for it to have the greatest effect on those present – making it an even more meaningful experience.

Humorous and Light-hearted

Creating a speech that is both humorous and heartfelt can result in an immensely proud moment for your child. One way to achieve this balance between humor and sentimentality while delivering the address is by using funny anecdotes or stories from their life. Using props, jokes, quotes, puns or gestures will boost audience engagement as well as help them remember it better.

Lighthearted teasing of quirks possessed by your child can be incorporated into the ceremony’s speech in order to bring smiles on everybody’s faces. Crafting such a combination of humor and sincerity ensures everyone appreciates what you have put together!

Reflective and Inspirational

Creating a speech to honor your child’s growth and encourage them towards their Jewish heritage can be an inspiring experience. Reflection on how the Torah portion relates to their journey offers a meaningful understanding of what accomplishments they have achieved. The talk should emphasize promoting good personhood while weaving in themes from Judaism – this will positively guide them through life’s challenges and create motivation along the way.

Tips for Writing and Delivering Your Bar or Bat Mitzvah Speech

As we have looked at some examples of speeches, it’s time to consider how best to write and present a meaningful Bar and Bat Mitzvah speech. By following these helpful tips, you can create an effective address that will be cherished by both your child and the gathered guests on this extraordinary day.

Begin with jotting down any thoughts or suggestions in just a few words as points. Take ample amount of time considering what essential facts should be included in the message. Then work through each point carefully so they are structured into one succinct narrative for the occasion of their Bar and Bat Mitzvah celebration!

Finding Your Voice

It’s essential to sound genuine and heartfelt when delivering your speech in order to create a strong connection with the listeners. Incorporate your own values, experiences, and beliefs into what you are saying for maximum effect. To discover this special voice of yours that resonates with audiences, think about who you really are as an individual. Crafting a narrative based on these aspects will make sure that everyone understands exactly where you’re coming from, enabling them to engage more deeply while listening.

Practice Makes Perfect

Preparing your talk is essential to make sure the delivery runs smoothly and that you have assurance during the event. Going over material thoroughly and rehearsing how it will be presented can help ease nerves when speaking before a crowd.

To use practice time as efficiently as possible, put these tips into action.

• Speak out loud while timing yourself.
• Practice in front of a mirror for observing body language or facial expressions made during speech presentation.
• Involve family members or friends who could provide constructive feedback on improving performance prior to delivering at an important occasion like this one today! Utilizing such methods should assist with better delivery overall plus making sure preparation has been completed beforehand so there are no unexpected surprises come showtime!

Engaging the Audience

Engaging the crowd is essential when delivering an effective Bar or Bat Mitzvah speech. Here are some tips for success: staying connected with your audience through eye contact, positive body language to emphasize points and boost a bond between you and them, plus demonstrate enthusiasm throughout your delivery. Utilizing these techniques can make sure that the address will be both unforgettable and enjoyable for all in attendance.

Effective posturing consists of gestures, facial expressions, as well as stance to help stress key thoughts while building trustworthiness among listeners – by knowing how to work with these methods you’ll capture everyone’s attention thus keeping it engaged during all parts of the Bar or Bat Mitzvah speech.

Incorporating Jewish Values and Traditions

For your Bar Mitzvah or Bat Mitzvah speech to be truly special, it is essential that you draw upon the rich Jewish values and traditions in order to make your words resonate with deeper meaning. By incorporating this cultural heritage into a heartfelt address at such an important milestone event for your child’s life, their Bar Mitzvah or Bat Mitzvah will become all the more meaningful.

The Torah Portion Connection

Creating a meaningful Bar Mitzvah or Bat Mitzvah speech that reflects your child’s journey with their Torah portion is possible by drawing connections between the two. Look for words, phrases or stories which have an impact on your own life and those of others around you – this will assist in forming strong ties from the scriptural text to your child’s individual experiences. This type of narrative can be very powerful when sharing at such an important moment as a Bar Mitzvah and Bat Mitzvah celebration. By reflecting upon these links and highlighting them throughout your speech, it gives greater recognition to both special people. The one being honored, Your child!

Blessings and Prayers

When making a Bar Mitzvah and Bat Mitzvah speech, including customary Jewish prayers and blessings serves to highlight the spiritual magnitude of this event as well as demonstrating honor for traditional Jewish practices. Such blessings such as Mi Shebeirach prayer for healing or even those traditionally offered by parents are commonly inserted into these speeches providing an intimate touch while emphasizing your child’s Judaism. Through doing so, you demonstrate respect for Jews’ customs and make it all more personal too. Creating a richer meaning not only in relation to your son/daughter but also on behalf of everyone present at the ceremony itself.

To bring together the perfect Bar Mitzvah and Bat Mitzvah address, one must include a unique combination of heartfelt anecdotes, humor and emotion while infusing Jewish values that are pertinent to this important life milestone. By using these tips mentioned here, you can create an unforgettable speech that will honor your child’s journey in celebrating his or her Bar Mitzvah and Bat Mitzvah event and be filled with joy, pride and lasting memories.

Frequently Asked Questions

What do you say in a parents bat mitzvah speech.

This morning, we were delighted to witness your strong sense of leadership as you led the congregation in prayer. We are so immensely proud [insert first name of your child], especially today on this special day when you have become a Bat Mitzvah! Congratulations and keep up the great work!

What do I say to my child on their Bar or Bat Mitzvah?

I’m filled with immense pride for you each and every day. Your achievement is the result of all your dedication, and I congratulate you on that!

Today marks a special occasion – let’s celebrate this Bar and Bat Mitzvah together!

What is the role of parents in a Bar or Bat Mitzvah speech?

In honor of their child’s coming-of-age, parents play a significant role in Bar Mitzvah celebrations. As part of this responsibility, they have the chance to express both love and pride for their son or daughter through meaningful words spoken during the speech. This is also an opportune moment to thank family members and friends who offered support throughout this time as well as recognize just how special achieving a Bar Mitzvah really is. Parents can share any advice from life experiences along with hopes for what lies ahead in store while addressing those gathered on such an important occasion.

How can I connect my child's Torah portion to their personal qualities or experiences?

Examining the topics of your kid’s Torah part and relating them to their own life is an effective way for constructing a thoughtful narrative that they can ponder upon.

What are some tips for engaging the audience during my Bar Mitzvah or Bat Mitzvah speech?

Maintaining eye contact, using confident body language and displaying enthusiasm are the best ways to make your speech engaging for any audience. Keeping a positive attitude will create an unforgettable experience that is sure to stay with those who have heard it. Utilizing these tips when delivering speeches ensures connecting with listeners in a memorable way.

Rabbi Dani Eskow

Co-founder and CEO, Online Jewish Learning

Expert in Jewish Education. Contact us for a free consulation!

Enroll Today!

How To Write a Bat Mitzvah Speech for Friends (20 Tips)

Being asked to give a Bat Mitzvah speech is a great honor. It’s an opportunity to share your connection to the Bat Mitzvah girl and her family.

Here’s how to write a Bat Mitzvah speech for friends:

To Write a Bat Mitzvah speech for friends, brainstorm a list of traits and stories about the Bat Mitzvah girl. Select 5-10 comments and place them in a simple outline. Start a Bat Mitzvah speech by introducing the young lady, then share a few stories, and close with an emotional message.

In this article, you’ll learn everything you need to know about how to write Bat Mitzvah speeches for friends.

What Is a Bat Mitzvah Speech?

Table of Contents

A Bat Mitzvah speech is a speech given by or for a Jewish girl during her Bat Mitzvah ceremony. The speech is usually about the girl’s journey to becoming a Bat Mitzvah, and her thoughts on what it means to be a Jewish woman.

The Bat Mitzvah ceremony is an important milestone in a Jewish girl’s life when she reaches the age of 12.

The Bat Mitzvah speech is often seen as a way for the girl to share her thoughts and feelings about becoming a Jewish woman. The speech can be serious or lighthearted, but it should always be respectful.

A Bat Mitzvah speech is typically delivered to the guests at the Bat Mitzvah ceremony, and it is often followed by a question and answer session.

The speech can also be given to the community at large, such as at a synagogue or Jewish community center.

A Bat Mitzvah speech should be well-thought-out and prepared in advance. It is important to remember that the audience will include people of all ages, so the speech should be appropriate for all listeners.

When giving a Bat Mitzvah speech, it is important to be sincere and honest.

The speech should be from the heart, and it should reflect the girl’s true feelings about becoming a Bat Mitzvah.

A Bat Mitzvah speech can be a wonderful opportunity to share the joy of becoming a Bat Mitzvah with family and friends. It can also be a time to reflect on what it means to be a Jewish woman and to start thinking about the future.

20 Best Tips For Writing Bat Mitzvah Speeches for Friends

As someone who has written many speeches, including Bat Mitzvah speeches for friends, here are my 20 best tips.

1) Keep It Personal

When you’re writing a speech for a friend’s Bat Mitzvah, it’s important to keep the tone personal.

This is your opportunity to share your memories and experiences with the guest of honor, so make sure your speech reflects your personal relationship with the guest of honor.

2) Be Sincere

Sincere speeches are always the best kind, so make sure your words come from the heart.

Your friend will appreciate hearing how much you care about her, and your sincerity will be evident in your words.

3) Be Positive

It’s important to focus on the positive when you’re giving a speech at a Bat Mitzvah.

This is a happy occasion, so be sure to keep your words and stories positive and uplifting. This is not the time for cruel jokes, teasing, or sarcastic jabs at the Bat Mitzvah girl’s expense.

4) Make It Unique

Your friend’s Bat Mitzvah is a once-in-a-lifetime event, so make sure your speech is just as special.

Share a personal story or memory that will make the day even more unforgettable. Work hard on your speech, practice, and think of unique ways to celebrate your friend.

5) Keep It Short

Although you may be tempted to write a long speech, it’s important to keep it concise. Remember that you’ll be sharing the spotlight with other speakers, so try to keep your remarks brief.

As a rule of thumb, shoot for a 3-5 minute Bat Mitzvah speech.

6. Use Humor Sparingly

A little bit of humor can go a long way, but be careful not to overdo it. You don’t want your speech to come across as cheesy or insincere.

If you do include humor, use it sparingly.

Focus on complementary and meaningful remarks and stories that focus on the Bat Mitzvah girl.

7) Avoid Offensive Material

This is a day to celebrate, so avoid anything that might be offensive to your friend or her guests. Stick to safe topics that everyone can enjoy.

If you wonder if something may be offensive, either check with the Bat Mitzvah girl or leave the material out.

The last thing you want to do is unintentionally ruin your friend’s special day.

8) Practice Beforehand

When it comes to speeches, practice makes perfect.

Take some time to rehearse your speech beforehand so you can deliver it with confidence on the big day. Practicing will also allow you to hear how certain word combinations, sentences, and stories sound out loud.

Not everything translates from the written page to the spoken word.

In this way, practicing can help you edit and revise your Bat Mitzvah speech so that it is polished and shines.

9) Speak Slowly

It can be easy to get nervous when you’re speaking in front of a large group, but try to speak slowly and deliberately.

This will help you remain calm and focus on your words.

Speaking slowly when you practice can also help you know which words to keep in your speech and which ones you can cut or change.

10) Use a Logical Speech Structure

When planning and writing your Bat Mitzvah speech for friends, remember to use a logical speech structure.

That usually means:

• Short introduction
• Body with a few main points and stories
• Short conclusion

You can also use the time to structure your speech.

For example, you might tell a story that happened 3 years ago, then one that occurred 2 years ago, and finally a story that happened just last month.

11) Use Proper Grammar

Although you may be speaking slightly off the cuff, it’s important to use proper grammar.

This will show that you’re taking the occasion seriously and help you deliver your words effectively. As much as possible, use standard grammar so that it doesn’t distract from your message.

12. Mix in Spirituality

Since the Bat Mitzvah celebration is closely tied to religion and spirituality, don’t be afraid to mention a scriptural concept or quote the Torah.

I probably wouldn’t quote more than one or two verses, but blending in religion can enhance almost any speech.

13) Tell Stories

When giving a Bat Mitzvah speech, it is important to focus on stories.

This is because stories help to personalize the speech and make it more meaningful for both the Bat Mitzvah girl and her guests. When selecting stories to share, choose those that are memorable and have a moral lesson or message.

The stories can be about anything from the time the Bat Mitzvah girl stood up for a friend to a time she made a mistake and learned from it.

By sharing these stories, you will not only entertain the guests but also offer them a glimpse into the Bat Mitzvah girl’s life and values.

14) Paint a Picture

Your words should paint a picture in your listener’s mind.

Use descriptive language to bring your stories and examples to life. After all, this is a once-in-a-lifetime event, and you want the speech to be memorable.

One way to do this is to use vivid adjectives and descriptors.

For example, instead of simply saying that your friend is “smart,” you could say that she is “whip-smart” or “incredibly intelligent.” Or, instead of calling her “courageous,” you could say that she is “fearless” or “brave.”

By painting pictures with your words, you can help to create a lasting impression that will be sure to inform and entertain your audience.

15) Be Prepared for Questions

If you’re asked to give a speech at a Bat Mitzvah, be prepared for questions from the audience.

A question and answer period is not unusual at a Bat Mitzvah. Being prepared shows that you’re knowledgeable about your friend and the customary process for this special celebration.

16) Know Your Audience

When you’re writing a Bat Mitzvah speech, it’s important to keep your audience in mind.

Be sure to tailor your remarks to the age group and interests of the guests. Most importantly, tailor your speech to the personality, style, and preferences of the Bat Mitzvah girl.

17) Connect With Your Listeners

The best way to connect with your audience is to find common ground.

Share an experience or story that everyone can relate to (such as the anxiety and excitement building up to the Bat Mitzvah party). And then build on that common ground by taking your listeners on an emotional journey that culminates in a series of praise for your friend.

18) Use Concrete Examples

When you’re making a point in your speech, be sure to use concrete examples.

For example, you could talk about the time she went out of her way to help you when you were feeling down, or the time she made you laugh when you needed it most. By sharing these kinds of stories, you’ll not only give the audience a sense of who your friend is, but you’ll also show them why she means so much to you.

This will help your listener understand and remember your words. Concrete examples are more engaging and stick in our minds longer than vague anecdotes.

19) Address the Parents

Although your speech is primarily for the Bat Mitzvah girl, it’s important to address her parents as well.

Thank them for their support and express your best wishes for the future. This shows respect and appreciation for their contribution to your amazing friend.

20) End On a High Note

When you’re wrapping up your speech, be sure to end on a positive note.

This will leave your audience with a good feeling and make your friend’s special day feel even more optimistic and memorable for everyone involved.

Here is a good video about how to write a Bat Mitzvah speech for friends:

How Do You Write a Good Bat Mitzvah Speech for Friends?

It can be difficult to write a good bat mitzvah speech for friends because you want to make sure that it is both meaningful and fun.

There are a few things to keep in mind when writing a Bat Mitzvah speech for friends.

• First, it is important to remember that this is a formal occasion. As such, your speech should be respectful and appropriate.
• Second, the focus of your speech should be on the Bat Mitzvah girl – her accomplishments, her hopes and dreams for the future, and how proud you are of her.
• Third, consider what your friend’s interests are. This will help you decide what kind of tone to take with your speech.
• Fourth, think about what you want to say. You may want to share a memory of your friend or offer some words of wisdom for her future.

If your friend is more serious, you may want to focus on the importance of this milestone in her life. If she is more fun-loving, you may want to add some humor to your speech.

With these things in mind, you are ready to start writing your Bat Mitzvah speech for friends.

Be sure to take your time and write from the heart. Your words will be sure to touch the hearts of all who hear them.

How Do You Start a Bat Mitzvah Speech for a Friend?

Here are some tips on how to start your Bat Mitzvah speech.

First, you will want to introduce yourself. Say who you are and how you know the bat mitzvah girl. This will help the audience to connect with you and your relationship with the honoree.

Next, take a moment to congratulate the bat mitzvah girl on this milestone achievement.

Let her know how proud you are of her and all that she has accomplished.

Now is the time to share a personal story or memory about the bat mitzvah girl. This could be something funny, heartwarming, or inspirational. Whatever story you choose to share, make sure it is appropriate for the occasion.

How Do You End a Bat Mitzvah Speech for a Friend?

Assuming you want to give a nice speech at your friend’s Bat Mitzvah, there are a few ways to end it.

You could simply say something like, “I wish you all the best in your future endeavors.” This is a classic way to end any speech, and it applies perfectly to a Bat Mitzvah speech.

Alternatively, you could end on a more personal note.

For example, you might say something like, “I know you’re going to do great things in your life, and I can’t wait to see all that you accomplish.”

This is a great way to show your support for your friend and her future.

Finally, you could end with a quote. This could be a quote about friendship, life, or anything else that you think is appropriate. Just make sure that the quote is meaningful and memorable.

Bat Mitzvah Speech for Friends Example

Let’s look at an example Bat Mitzvah speech for friends.

Hello everyone. I would like to start by thanking everyone for coming to the Bat Mitzvah celebration. I am so honored to be here today to celebrate my best friend’s Bat Mitzvah. This is truly a milestone moment in her life, and I am so happy to be sharing it with her. It feels like only yesterday we were in school together, and now she’s a young woman. My friend has always been so special to me, and I know she’ll continue to grow into an amazing adult. I remember one time, we were in school and you had to give a presentation in front of the whole class. You were so nervous, but you did it anyway and you did an amazing job. That’s the kind of courage and strength you need to have to become a bat mitzvah. I have known her since we were both just little girls, and she has always been one of the kindest, sweetest people I know. She is always looking out for others and always ready to lend a helping hand. She is someone who truly cares about others, and I know that she will continue to make a difference in the world. This past year has been a tough one for all of us, but she has continued to be a shining light in my life. She is always there for a hug or a chat when I need it, and I know she will continue to be a great friend. I am so proud of you and everything you have accomplished. I know that you will continue to make your mark on the world and make a difference in the lives of those around you. I wish you all the best in everything you do, and I know that you will continue to make us all proud. In the end, I want to say congratulations again to my friend on this special day. I know that she’ll continue to accomplish great things in her life. I have known her for many years, and I know that she has a bright future ahead of her. Thank you all for listening.

What Not To Include In a Bat Mitzvah Speech?

Here are a few things you should not include in a Bat Mitzvah speech for your friend:

• Avoid using inside jokes that only the family will understand – keep your speech relatable to everyone in the room.
• Don’t make fun of anyone in the room, including the Bat Mitzvah girl – it’s not appropriate and people will feel uncomfortable.
• Resist the urge to get sentimental and cry – it’s okay to get choked up, but try to keep your emotions in check so that you can finish your speech.
• Don’t make any promises you can’t keep – for example, don’t say you’ll be there for the bat mitzvah girl every step of her life if you know you won’t be able to fulfill that commitment.
• Don’t say anything you wouldn’t want the Bat Mitzvah girl to hear – remember, she’s going to be listening to your speech!
• Don’t use offensive language – even if you’re just joking around, it’s not appropriate for a Bat Mitzvah speech.
• Don’t wing it – prepare your speech in advance so you don’t forget anything important.
• Most importantly, don’t forget to say congratulations and Mazel Tov to the bat mitzvah girl! She’s accomplished a lot and deserves your best wishes.

Final Thoughts: How To Write a Bat Mitzvah Speech for Friends

When it comes to giving a Bat Mitzvah speech for friends, the key is to focus on what makes your friend special.

If you need help writing your speech, you might consider using an AI writer like Jasper or Copymatic .

Related posts:

• What To Write in a Wedding Officiant Thank You Note (20 Real Examples)
• H-Supertools Ai Writer Ultimate Guide (23 Quick Answers)
• How To Overcome Writer’s Block (20 Tricks That Really Work)
• Best Eulogy Writers (Tested and Rated)

Academy for Jewish Religion

404 Not found

• Bris Celebrations
• Testimonials
• Medical Practice

How to Create the Perfect Bar Mitzvah Speech

Your important coming-of-age ritual is fast approaching and that means you’ll need to articulate the components of your spiritual growth in front of your friends and family. You can even bring up other important rites of passage, like when the mohel circumcision procedure was conducted following your birth.

It’s time for your barmitzvah speech! Since you may have already heard a bat mitzvah speech and a bat mitzvah parent speech, you can easily brainstorm with your family to come up with a good story and flow. It’s not so scary when you know what to do. Below, we explain the steps you can take to secure a speech that makes everyone proud.

1. Start with An Outline of Your Speech.

Starting with an outline keeps you focused and allows your speech to have an easy-to-follow flow. Speeches are much like stories and require a basic structure that includes an introduction, a body, and a conclusion. Whenever you’re delivering a barmitzvah speech, there are certain elements to the message you can adhere to.

In your introduction, you can express gratitude to all attendees for their support of your coming-of-age ritual . In the body, you can share your personal feelings regarding your spiritual evolution and share an anecdote that epitomizes your strength and growth. When you conclude, you can turn your attention to your parents and 1) offer praise for their assistance in spiritual growth, 2) remind them they are loved immensely, and 3) finish by offering a blessing.

Think back to a memorable barmitzvah speech. Consider how the bat mitzvah speech you last heard was structured. Or try to recall the components of your favorite bat mitzvah parent speech. All of this will help you.

2. Identify Personal Stories.

As a young man emerging into the next phase of life, you house a vault of memories. Think about all the ways you have grown spiritually and jot down all the memories that come to mind. Try not to think of the “perfect” story, rather let the memories pour out from your heart. Put them on paper as they come, even if that means bullet points or long prose paragraphs.

This is also a good opportunity for you to connect with your family and discover what memories are most prominent in their minds, what has stood out the most from their perspectives, and what moments they cherish to this day. If you’ve heard them deliver a bat mitzvah speech, you know they remember all the little things. They may even help you recall stories from when you were younger and may have some anecdotes to share about your mohel circumcision procedure.

Here we summarize a few thoughts to consider, if you feel they deserve mention in your speech:

• How you have prepared for your special day
• What role you have taken with your family celebrations
• Your mohel circumcision procedure , which marked your faith and devotion from birth
• Your spiritual growth milestones, in the best way you can convey them
• Moments that demonstrate your growth into manhood

Don’t be afraid to incorporate humor here. This is a massive milestone in your journey and while speaking on your accomplishments and your religious progress is the main focus, you can always incorporate humor into your storytelling. Surely, there have been more than one or two moments during which you and your family have erupted in laughter. If you can weave humor into your speech, your audience is sure to be delighted along with you.

3. Incorporate the Torah.

As you brainstorm ideas for your speech, you will certainly come across a d’var Torah, which will help you better explain your evolution. There are many lessons to choose from and you can choose one which best relates to your personal experiences.

For instance, Abraham has always been a pillar in the realm of kindness, as he dedicated his life in service to others. Perhaps you can relate your inherent kindness to the story of Abraham and consider how you may have touched your friends with kind words and gestures, how you may have gone out of your way to help strangers, and how these lessons have gifted you with more wisdom throughout your life.

Abraham has taught many lessons, and two primary points he stresses in loving others include 1) exemplifying kindness with your entire heart and 2) going above and beyond in your quest to be helpful toward others. You can incorporate God’s words to Abraham, when he asked him to keep His covenant through the mohel circumcision procedure. Consider these teachings and how you have worked to exemplify them. From here, you are able to incorporate the Torah and correlate core teachings with stories of your own honorable behavior.

4. Write It All Down.

Once you’ve created your outline and you’ve jotted down the relevant stories you can recall, you can begin filling in the outline structure by putting it all on paper. Though it may feel counterintuitive, start your speech by filling in the body of it. Think of the last bat mitzvah parent speech you heard and recall how it was laid out.

The main portion of your speech is the body and should incorporate your personal stories and main points. When the body of your speech is filled out, it’s much easier to write out your introduction and your conclusion. This is because you already have the core of your speech completed and can easily incorporate it into both your introduction and conclusion.

Consider how you’d like to start your speech. Would you like to kick it off with a spiritual passage that you can weave into your entire speech? How about a quote that means something to you? You can also ask your parents about this and ask them to contribute some meaningful song lyrics or quotes they feel resonate strongly with them.

No matter what you choose to incorporate into your introduction and conclusion, note that unless the body portion of your speech is solidified, your intro and outro ideas may feel out of place, lacking congruence with the main portion of your speech. When you work around the body of your speech, you’re better able to create a harmonic flow that both sounds good once delivered and helps you stay on track once you’re in the moment.

5. Do Something Else.

Here’s another piece of counterintuitive advice: do something else. Whenever you’re working on something as important as a barmitzvah speech, it can feel like there’s a lot of pressure on you and you may experience overwhelm as you go through the process of developing it.

Your brain needs time to rest and reset after your initial writing session. Let your thoughts simmer on paper while you go off and tend to your regular day-to-day responsibilities. Try to recall your favorite bat mitzvah parent speech and what stood out the most. Feel confident with taking some downtime to engage with your favorite hobby, sit down with a cup of tea and a good book, or even watch a movie. All these actions give you sufficient time to let what you’ve written simmer, so when you come back to your filled outline, you have a new, refreshed perspective.

6. Edit and Rehearse.

With your fresh perspective, you’ll be able to identify pieces of your initial notes that come together seamlessly and also pieces that can be cut out of your final speech. Even when you have a great memory you’re excited to share, if it doesn’t fit into the overall flow of your speech, don’t hesitate to cut it out.

Most importantly, take the time to rehearse your speech from beginning to end. This will take a couple of tries but once you’re comfortable with the flow, you’ll be able to deliver it easily.

Delivering a barmitzvah speech (same with a bat mitzvah speech!) is one of the most satisfying experiences you are blessed to enjoy in your lifetime. This is an opportunity to make your speech your own and incorporate your deepest feelings of love and excitement along with being able to reiterate the importance of your Jewish faith .

So long as you deliver your speech with the fuel of love and kindness in your heart, you can’t go wrong. You will do a great job and represent your family and faith well. Here’s to a fantastic speech and celebration – Mazel tov!

We are excited to see you progress on your spiritual path! Did you find this article helpful? Share these tips with your friends on social media. They’ll thank you for it. Let us know how your speech goes and subscribe to our blog for more! And don’t forget – when you’re looking for a skilled Surgeon Physician Mohel, give us a call. We’re here to serve you.

Share This Story, Choose Your Platform!

Related posts.

Hiddur Mitzvah: Enhancing the Mitzvah Experience

Privacy overview.

The Journey

• Primary School
• High School

Guidelines for Bar/Bat Mitzvah Speeches

by Donna Jacobs Sife

A friend of mine living in Washington told me a story. When her son’s bar mitzvah was approaching one of her friend’s asked her “What’s your theme?” My friend thought for a moment and then responded, “Judaism”.

Thankfully, we are mostly spared the spectacle of extravaganzas here in Australia. But I think some of us still struggle with ambivalence at the thought of celebrating ‘Judaism’ at our child’s bar mitzvah reception.

One way of bringing heart and spirit to the occasion is through the speeches. It may be the only time the family can link the events in synagogue with the party that follows; the only moment in the whole proceedings that the family and guests can reconsider what they are doing, why they are there, and who they are honouring.

What follows are some ideas to consider when writing such a speech. It is specifically written for the parents of the bar mitzvah child, but may serve to guide anyone who intends to speak on the day.

• Share your own experience of becoming bar mitzvah. What it meant to you and your parents, what you did, how you celebrated. A meaningful speech can only come from the heart and therefore if you felt ambivalent when you became bar mitzvah, or didn’t have one, or it was not meaningful, then this is what you will say. And if, with reflection you can see what was missing, or what you would have liked, or how satisfied you felt about your own child’s bar mitzvah — then it is truth that is speaking and the heart is touched.

• Remember an anecdote that encapsulates the essential nature of your child. What are his/her qualities, what do you enjoy most about him/her? What do you see developing? What gives you pride? Do any of these qualities remind you of one of our forefathers or foremothers? Does he have the patience of Jacob? The depth of Moses? The kindness of Abraham? Or does she show astuteness and intuition like Rebecca, wisdom like Sarah?

• How did you feel when you heard him/her practicing and studying? What memories came back? Did you consider the parashah together? What insights, emotions, thoughts did you have coming into contact with the Torah like that?

• Try to find a connection with the portion of the Torah that was read. Through metaphor, symbol, imagery – sometimes it can be very meaningful to consider the portion with regards to your child, or your family history, or some other aspect of your lives.

• What Jewish values do you hold dear? Or if you feel more comfortable thinking of them as universal values, say that. What do you value in the world that you would like your child to also uphold? When you look at your child, how do you want him/her to see the world and be within it

• What does Judaism mean to you? Is it family, a way of life, a value system, a proud history? Talk about your own relationship with Judaism. This is a sacred Jewish passage, where a parent is handing his son or daughter to responsibility and adulthood. Let there be an inheritance of experience, ideas, reflection and pride.

• Include Israel, and mitzvot. Buy trees in Israel, organise beforehand to deliver leftover food to a shelter nearby — make your simcha bigger by asking your guests to give to a charity chosen by the bar mitzvah child, or bringing food for Mazon. This is the essential nature of a Jewish celebration.

• Consider using quotes from Jewish thinkers and scholars throughout the ages, or stories from particularly Chassidic sources (plenty on the web) that encapsualate what it is you wish to impart to the bar mitzvah child.

How rare and wonderful to stand before our family, friends and community to state what Judaism means to us!

Donna Jacobs Sife is a Sydney writer.

THE DELIVERY

by Pamela Lemberg

Some two years before its actual date, the average Jewish mother begins her frenetic preparations for her child’s bar or bat mitzvah.

Whereas the organisation of a successful party can be seen primarily as an administrative task, the writing of an effective bar mitzvah speech requires skills that many people find daunting. But the formula is really quite simple: begin at the present, the child that you see standing before you; return to the past, the journey that has taken the child from his/her birth to the here and now; and come back to the present and the future, the emotions of this milestone event and the appreciation of family and friends.

In order to create an easy, flowing presentation, the speech-maker should feel relaxed and confident. Too often the speeches are left to the last moment, are hastily written and so plainly under-rehearsed. Confidence can only come from adequate preparation, well in advance, and then much practice. And size is important too, five to ten minutes being the optimum length without becoming repetitive or boring.

Humour is a vital ingredient in the recipe for the success of a speech — not in the form of jokes, but more in the recounting of original anecdotes that create a picture of the child. Over-sentimentality should be avoided, as should the over-praising of the child in question.

A list of academic and sporting achievements while being a source of great pride for the parents, may not necessarily be of great interest to guests.

Unless one has a prodigious memory or is a skilled orator, it is safer to have a written, large-type transcript of the speech for reference.

However, if the presenter has rehearsed sufficiently and is comfortable with their speech, they may only need to glance at the notes from time to time.

Familiarity with the words will enable the speaker to look up and make eye contact with their audience, thus creating a bond.

Not having a transcript to follow creates the danger of drifting off at a tangent and losing flow and direction. And a smooth flow is paramount — the speech should run seamlessly from one topic to the next in a natural sequence.

When the bar or bat mitzvah child makes the speech, care should be taken to avoid the clichés that seem to be in vogue.

Some speeches are so predictable that you would be hard put to know whose function you were attending. For example: “To my mum, thank you for being there for me”. (Well, where else would a Jewish mother be?) “To my dad, thank you for shlepping me everywhere”. (What’s a Mercedes for?). Or, “Thanks to my grandma, who makes the best chicken soup and kneidlach” (Doesn’t that go without saying?).

The ideal bar or bat mitzvah speech should be informative, entertaining, not too long and just a little sentimental. It should make you laugh and it should make you cry — preferably at the same time. It should make you feel that you know the child well — and are glad to. And, above all, it should make every guest remember the event because of the quality of the speeches.

Pamela Lemberg is a Sydney-based speech writer and author of short stories and poetry.

These articles republished with thanks to the Australian Jewish News.

BJE inspires the Jewish Identity of our Community’s youth by providing a comprehensive Jewish education in NSW State Schools.

All programs embody the BJE philosophy of providing intelligent and engaging classes and activities which bring Judaism to life.

• 56 Roscoe Street, Bondi Beach New South Wales, 2026 Australia
• +61 2 9365 7900
• Knowledge Center

©2024 NSW Board of Jewish Education | ABN: 470 0004 9785 | All rights reserved

Speechworks

Here’s a template for a parent’s bar/bat mitzvah speech.

I wrote this post before I attended my 13-year-old cousin’s bat mitzvah, the traditional service marking a Jewish child’s passage into adulthood. A highlight of many bat/bar mitzvah services is the short blessing or speech from the parents.

The best of these speeches are touching and often a little funny. They have stories that help the congregation get to know the young man or woman who has been studying hard to lead the congregation through that morning’s a Shabbat service.

Along with my wife, I’ve written and delivered three of these two-minute b’nai mitzvah blessings. So if you’re not sure what to say, or if you’re a little nervous, here is our template that you can use to honor your young adult.

Opening Your Speech

Start by telling your daughter how proud you are. Then tell her and the congregation some of the personality traits about her that you most admire.

“[Insert first name of your child]. Your [mother/father] and I are so proud of how well you did today, leading the congregation in prayer this morning. But more than that, we’re proud of the wonderful young man/woman you’ve become.”

“You’re [insert the positive qualities that you admire about your child. For example you might say “You’re sweet, and kind and responsible.” Or “You’re friendly and extremely outgoing!” Or “You’re hard working and generous with your time!” or “You’re not just a wonderful pitcher for the baseball team. You’re warm and caring older brother.”]

Stories are the Best

Next, tell two or three short stories that illustrate your child’s wonderful qualities. Stories are what make these blessings great and memorable.

[I said that you are outgoing and friendly. I remember when we moved to Atlanta from New York. You were sad leaving behind your friends. But you didn’t waste time finding new friends. As soon as we settled into our neighborhood, you found the neighborhood directory and started calling up kids your age in the neighborhood. You said ‘Hi, I’m Elliott. I’m new to the neighborhood. Would you like to play sometime?’” You have to be the first child in history to cold call for friends. The funny thing is that it worked. Several of those friends are here today.”]

[I also said that you were hard working. I remember your first dance recital. You were up in front of a lot of people and you fell down. It was a little embarrassing and you told me so. But you didn’t get frustrated. Rather on the way home you just said to me ‘Dad, I think I need to practice more.’ And that evening, I heard you in the basement, practicing. Now you’re one of the best dancers on the dance team and you’re teaching us moves that we’ve never seen. You’ve even started teaching dance to younger kids at the JCC. Of course you bring that same determination to your studies and to your preparation for this day.]

If you want to add a third story, knock yourself out. But remember that no one wants to hear a long speech. When the Rabbi says “Keep it to two minutes,” he or she really wants it short. Remember, this is not your day. It’s your son or daughter’s day.

End by Going for the Heartstrings

Finish with a sincere pronouncement of love and admiration.

[Of course, we are proud of how you performed today. But that’s not nearly as important as the fact that were are incredibly proud of the young man/young woman that you’ve become. We love you.]

Don’t Forget to Practice . . . A Lot

Once you have the speech written, practice. My wife and I practiced enough so that we could recite it without notes. Lots of practice will help you overcome the natural nerves you’re going to feel.

If you feel you have to use notes, that’s OK. Just read with gusto. You want it to sound like you’re just telling stories at a dinner table.

Practice hard and you’re son or daughter will be as proud of you as you are of him or her.

The Bat Mitzvah Best Friend speech

by Aviva Blumstein | Uncategorized | 0 comments

It’s your daughter’s Bat Mitzvah year and the excitement is mounting. The family have been looking forward to this time for 12 years and suddenly it has arrived. You have been fantasizing about the type of celebration you would be arranging to mark your daughter’s coming of age but now that it is real the pressure is on. You slowly but surely are checking off all the boxes on your things-to-do list then suddenly out of the blue you are landed with a new task; helping your daughter write a speech and/ or song for her best friend’s Bat Mitzvah.

This phenomenon of entertaining girlfriends at their Bat Mitzvah celebrations has become de rigueur in the past few years. The bat mitzvah girl looks forward with great anticipation to find out what her friends are going to say about her in public at her special moment. Its probably one of the highlights of the evening as far as she is concerned so being given the task of delivering the best-friend speech is an honor but a nail-biting one!

Best Friend Bat Mitzvah speech

So, how are you going to help your daughter get it just right??   Here are a few guidelines you might find helpful:

• Help your daughter compose a list of the Bat mitzvah girl’s qualities that make her her ‘best friend’
• Make sure the list contains only positive descriptions. Now is the time to give loads of compliments and make the Bat Mitzvah girl feel special
• Although your daughter and her best friend have their secrets and special language, the speech should only mention things that everyone can understand. The audience should be happy to listen to the speech and not be made to feel excluded from the best friends’ special relationship.
• This is not the time to outshine the Bat Mitzvah at her own party so make sure your daughter doesn’t try to be too clever….
• … but its great if she can tell funny little stories to bring a smile to the audience’s faces.
• If your daughter is part of a group of friends make sure they all have an equal input to avoid anyone feeling left out. Even if one has a clearer voice then the rest they should all be able to participate and do their bit speaking.
• If your daughter has decided to write and sing a song make sure it is a tune everyone can hum along to. It’s also best to keep the words and the melody simple. Off tune singing with difficult lyrics is hard to follow and the moment will be lost…

Bat Mitzvah – best friends for ever 🙂

Ultimately your daughter should have great fun composing a speech for her best friend. It’s a time for her to show how much she loves her friend and enjoys their friendship. It’s also a great step into the world of public speaking which is a very daunting task to most people. Ensuring that she has a great time with this project will make future public speaking engagements a breeze and who knows, she might be asked to deliver the maid-of-honor address at her best friends wedding….

Do you know any Best Friends Bat Mitzvah speech success or horror stories?  Please tell us about them!

Jewish Journal

Connect. inform. inspire., the easy way to write your speech for a bar/bat mitzvah.

• By Jewish Journal
• Published December 18, 2013

Most people are happier being reaudited by a fiber-deficient IRS agent than speaking in public. They’re even more fartutst about writing their own speeches. 

Sometimes, we have to do both. 

It’s easy for me. I’ve been a speechwriter all my life. But you can do it, too, anxiety-free, as long as you follow a few rules. In fact, if you’ve been asked to speak at someone’s bar or bat mitzvah, you may even find the process of writing a speech quite simple and fun. (Notice I said process.)

Where do you start? 

1. Prepare early . The minute the date is set and you know you’ll have a speaking part in the celebration, start thinking about what you might say. That gives you a year. Don’t wait until it’s 8:52 on Saturday morning, and the bar mitzvah begins in eight minutes. At that point, it’s almost too late for even a professional to help you.

2. Find a theme for your speech . There is a portion of the Torah read at every bar or bat mitzvah. It corresponds to that particular week and is called a parasha . It’s easy to look it up, along with its modern meaning. Maybe the theme is trust. Maybe bravery. Overcoming hardship. Tie that in with your special feelings for the child being celebrated. Add to it by sharing some of the best memories of that young person. “I remember the scooter when …” 

You could also refer to the honoree’s Hebrew name, connecting it to the biblical character with the same moniker, if there is one. However, if the child who is coming of age is named Boo Boo or Bugsy, you might have to be a little creative.

Your speech might also discuss the Jewish values and traditions you observe together. Lighting the Shabbat candles is one. Saying Kiddush. Celebrating Chanukah. That’s a classic approach. To be more contemporary, you could talk about how you and the bat mitzvah girl go rippin’ along the Pacific Coast Highway on your Harley every Sunday, or how you and the bar mitzvah boy have watched every episode of “Breaking Bad” over and over together, and are in the same 12-step program to stop. 

3. Don’t be intimidated . You’re not addressing Congress or the Supreme Court. This isn’t your Harvard entrance essay. It’s a private, family gathering. You’re not Jimmy Fallon and you won’t be appearing on national TV. You probably won’t even be on YouTube, unless the challah somehow starts dancing the lambada. It’s just you, your extended family and your friends. Everybody will be cheering for you. 

4. Make lists. Before trying to write sentences for my speeches, I make lists. Then my lists make lists. I move ideas around and add new ones. As a writer, I know better than to sit down at my desk, thinking I’ll nail something perfectly in the first draft. In reality, as ideas pop into my head, I scribble them on anything I can find, including the upholstery in my car. 

And rather than feel the panic of having to sit there and finish this speech tonight tonight tonight , I make an appointment with myself to write for five minutes a day on weekdays. Not everybody has a couple of hours each morning, but we all have five minutes — no skipping. I mark the appointment with me in my day planner. And even if the page is blank when my five minutes are up, I check off that time anyway. I’ve kept my commitment. Maybe tomorrow something good will appear during my warm-up session. Eventually, it always does. 

When I get a draft — no matter how scattered it is, I congratulate myself and haul out the candy corn. Rewards for good work go a long way. 

5. Hook ’em with a great opening. You have a captive audience. Don’t lose them by starting with recycled language. You’re not a cliché. Your speech at a bar or bat mitzvah shouldn’t be one, either.

In your opening sentence, be clever. Maybe a little funny, too. If you’re speaking at a reception, instead of simply thanking the chefs who brought hors d’oeuvres , how about, “The CIA confirms that Aunt Puddy, Auntie Lacy and Great Aunt Yakabovsky caught the carp, the whitefish and the pike themselves. Now that’s gefilte fish. And nobody named Manischewitz was involved.”

6. How long should I speak? Less is more. Keep it short. If you’re the only speaker, five minutes. If you’re sharing the time-slot, three. You want to say what’s in your heart, leave your fingerprint in the room, congratulate the honoree and his or her family, then sit down.

7. How do I end my speech? “ Mazel tov! ” and “ L’chaim !” get ’em every time.

Molly-Ann Leikin is an executive speechwriter and Emmy nominee living in Santa Monica. Her Web site is anythingwithwords.com .

Did you enjoy this article?

You'll love our roundtable., editor's picks.

Israel and the Internet Wars – A Professional Social Media Review

The Invisible Student: A Tale of Homelessness at UCLA and USC

What Ever Happened to the LA Times?

Who Are the Jews On Joe Biden’s Cabinet?

You’re Not a Bad Jewish Mom If Your Kid Wants Santa Claus to Come to Your House

No Labels: The Group Fighting for the Political Center

Latest articles.

UCLA Condemns “Ugly Antisemitic” Pig Display

The Best Way to Fight Antisemitism is to Revive the American Dream

Ordinary Superheroes

The New American Reality: Implications for the Jewish Community

Testimony – A poem for Parsha Vayikra

Rep. Nancy Mace Urges Gov’t to Take Action Against Campus Antisemitism

Savory hamantaschen for purim, sweet hamantaschen for purim, make some noise with these groggers, from nomadic adventures to jewish artistry: the eclectic journey of sarah izard-podolski.

A Bisl Torah – Jewish Unity

Just as the Jews of Shushan came together and prayed for a miracle, so too with prayer we shall overcome this evil in the world.

Purim in Time of War

Indignity after indignity, pogrom after pogrom, massacre after massacre, come Purim we could imagine a different world, a world turned upside down where we could be victorious.

Mordecai, Esther and the Lottery

A Moment in Time: “Welcome Rabbi Daniel Freedman”!

Print Issue: Dancing Again | Mar 22, 2024

Survivors from the Oct. 7 Nova Festival massacre gathered at Camp Ramah in Ojai for a week of music, healing and, yes, dancing.

Spielberg Says Antisemitism Is “No Longer Lurking, But Standing Proud” Like 1930s Germany

Young Actress Juju Brener on Her “Hocus Pocus 2” Role

Behind the Scenes of “Jeopardy!” with Mayim Bialik

Jamie Pachino: “So Help Me Todd,” Food on TV and Chocolate Chip Cake

Micah Siva: “Nosh,” Plant-Based Snacking and Halvah Granola

More news and opinions than at a shabbat dinner, right in your inbox..

• Party Planning
• Disco Theme Party
• Western Theme Party
• Decades Themes
• Kids Party Themes
• Kids Parties
• Wedding Ideas
• Virtual Event Services
• Event Inspiration
• Inspiration
• Party Trends
• Cover Bands
• Mariachi Bands
• Wedding DJs
• Bar Mitzvah DJs
• Face Painters
• Singing Telegrams
• Costumed Characters
• Motivational Speakers
• Keynote Speakers
• Wedding Officiants
• Photographers
• Animals For Parties
• Photo Booth Rentals

Bar/Bat Mitzvah 101: Everything You Need to Know

Lauren Miolene

This special milestone calls for a celebration! If you’re attending your first bar mitzvah or bat mitzvah, you probably have some questions about what to expect. From understanding the difference between a bar and bat mitzvah to what happens at the ceremony and reception, we've got everything you need to know about this important Jewish rite of passage and celebration. Mazel tov! 

Here are all of your bar/bat mitzvah questions answered.

What is a bar mitzvah or bat mitzvah.

A bar/bat mitzvah is a rite of passage to celebrate a Jewish boy or girl entering adulthood. This milestone represents the beginning of their journey to follow Jewish law in the religious community. This is typically held around the boy’s thirteenth birthday and the girl’s twelfth or thirteenth birthday after two to three years of learning about  the fundamental ideas and values of Judaism.

Bar mitzvah means son of the commandments and bat mitzvah means daughter of the commandments. A bar/bat mitzvah is meant to signify the beginning of an adult’s journey in the Jewish religion. Faith and dedication are intended to grow stronger after this milestone which is something to be celebrated with family and friends. For boys, it’s the first time they don tefillin and a fringed shawl for prayer.

Photo:  Danny’s bar mitzvah captured by  Michael Jurick Photography .

What are the bar/bat mitzvah ceremony steps?

The day begins with a traditional ceremony and prayer services typically held in the synagogue which includes a Shabbat service. The bar mitzvah boy or bat mitzvah girl is called up to the Torah to recite prayers and readings in Hebrew, which have taken years of learning, studying, and practicing during their bar/bat mitzvah lessons. 

After reading from the Torah, they share a special speech about how they will apply these lessons in their everyday life. Once the religious ceremony and the necessary steps are complete, the boy or girl is now considered an adult in the eyes of the Jewish Community.

For the ceremony, most times male guests are given yarmulkes to wear. These are the traditional caps worn to show respect for the bar mitzvah boy, the religion, and God.

Photo:  Lindsay’s bat mitzvah captured by  Michael Jurick Photography .

What happens at the bar/bat mitzvah party?

After the ceremony, it is time to honor the bar mitzvah boy or the bat mitzvah girl’s achievements and hard work with a celebration!

Kiddush Luncheon

Right after the ceremony (if it takes place in the morning), the family may host a luncheon at the synagogue’s event hall or another venue where typically traditional Jewish cuisine will be served. This can include bagels, cream cheese, lox, egg salad, latkes, challah bread, or any other food deemed kosher. 

Next, it’s time for a fun-filled bar/bat mitzvah party! Friends and family will be invited to attend a reception including lots of food, dancing, speeches and entertainment . The menu will include a variety of trendy and casual eats to appeal to both the children and adults in attendance. Ultimately, it is up to the bar mitzvah boy or the bat mitzvah girl what they want to serve on their big day. Guests can usually expect there to be cake on the menu—it is a birthday party after all—and the cake is often part of the candle lighting ritual.

Candle Lighting

The candle lighting is very important for the coming of age ritual. The bar mitzvah boy or the bat mitzvah girl must reflect and invite a pre-selected group of thirteen close friends and family members to participate in lighting the candles.

One of the most exciting Jewish traditions of the evening is the hora—a circle dance. This is a song and dance where the guests of honor (the child followed by their parents) each take a turn sitting in a chair and being raised in the air by their guests with surrounding guests holding hands and dancing in circles. A hora will energize the crowd and last about fifteen minutes.

What should I wear?

We suggest wearing a suit, dress shirt and slacks, or dresses to be most appropriate. After all, the ceremony is usually held at a religious place of worship, so the more formal the better. As for the party, feel free to bring a different outfit to change into for a more casual and relaxed feel. Remember to wear something comfortable to move in so you can dance!

What is an appropriate gift?

Since this day is to celebrate a birthday, of course, you need to bring a birthday present! Common bar/bat mitzvah gifts include religious and educational books, jewelry, gift certificates, or money. Since the day is all about the boy or girl reaching the age of adulthood, it is best to stay away from giving anything childlike. Gifts involving any amount of money are traditionally given in multiples of eighteen, this is because in Hebrew the word ‘life’ corresponds to the number eighteen. Any money received is intended to be saved and used for college or to further the adult’s education.

No matter what the gift may be, we recommend giving them a handwritten card to remember their special day.

What should I write in a bar/bat mitzvah card?

A bar/bat mitzvah card should be more meaningful than any other birthday card. This is an important milestone because your loved one is no longer a child, but turning into an adult. We suggest offering life advice, writing about a memory together, or just share your congratulations for the dedication and hard work they have put forth throughout their childhood.

Featured event team

Lindsay's Bat Mitzvah –  Photographer:  Michael Jurick Photography ;  @MichaelJurick  / Producer: Victoria Dubin Events / Event Design: Ed Libby & Co. / Venue: Angel Orensanz Foundation / Lighting: Fusion Productions / Entertainment: Untouchable Events

Find party venues, vendors and entertainment for a  bar mitzvah or bat mitzvah  on The Bash »

You May Also Like

May we suggest....

Find a store

What to write in a bar mitzvah or bat mitzvah card.

So you’ve got a bar mitzvah card or bat mitzvah card you need to sign? Mazel tov! Not only are these occasions inspiring to see and fun to take part in—they’re also a very big deal in the life of a person of the Jewish faith. When you write a personal message in your card to the bar or bat mitzvah, you’re adding to the joy and significance of their big day.

If you’re stumped on what to write in a bar/bat mitzvah card, this article has writing tips and ideas to get you going.

Inspired? Create and share by tagging @HallmarkStores .

But first, here’s a super-quick primer on the celebrations that might help, too:

Bar/bat mitzvah literally translates as “son/daughter of the commandments.” This rite marks their entry as adults into their faith community. These students of the faith put in a lot of hard work preparing for a special Shabbat service at their synagogue, in which they read aloud from the Torah and sometimes lead prayers or chants, too. Traditionally, bar mitzvahs are 13 years old and bat mitzvahs are either 12 or 13. It’s becoming more common for adults to become bar/bat mitzvahs, too, but no matter what the age of your recipient, they will appreciate your recognition and the time and thought you put into giving them a card.

From words of pride to blessings to congratulations, there are all kinds of messages that work well in bar/bat mitzvah cards. And it’s fine to write a little or a lot, depending on how well you know the bar/bat mitzvah themselves. The message ideas below are divided by theme, but you can mix and match to come up with the words that feel just right for you to send.

• Mazel Tov Congratulations
• Pride and Compliments
• Faith and Tradition
• Funny Messages
• Warm Closings

Mazel Tov Congratulations  

Literally translated, the Yiddish phrase “mazel tov” means something closer to “good luck,” but it’s more commonly used to congratulate someone. A short mazel tov message by itself works well for a recipient you don’t know as well, but you could also use it to round out a longer message.

• “Mazel tov, Bar Mitzvah!”
• “Best wishes and mazel tov to you as you celebrate your bat mitzvah!”
• “Congratulations and mazel tov, Bar Mitzvah! (I’m so proud of you, I had to say both.)”
• “This day is so meaningful, and you’ve worked so hard for it. Mazel tov.”
• “Congratulations on what you’ve achieved and on stepping into your faith community as an adult today.”
• “Congratulations! Your bat mitzvah marks a huge accomplishment—but it’s only the beginning of all a young woman like you is going to achieve.”
• “Mazel tov! What a happy and unforgettable day this is for you and for all of us who’ve had the joy of watching you grow to be a man.”

Helpful tip: Even for those of us who don’t come from a Jewish faith tradition, “mazel tov” is one in-culture phrase that’s easy to say or write without feeling awkward or like we’re trying too hard. But go with your gut—if “congratulations” feels more you, then go with that.

Wishes  

A heartfelt wish is another great thing to write in a bar/bat mitzah card. You could make it a wish for the big day itself or go bigger and make a hopeful wish for the bar/bat mitzvah’s future.

• “Wishing you so much happiness as you celebrate your bat mitzvah!”
• “May the wisdom you’ve learned studying for your bar mitzvah guide you all your days.”
• “We wish you an unforgettable bar mitzvah celebration and all the best in the exciting years ahead of you.”
• “Love, blessings and best wishes to you, Bat Mitzvah!”
• “Hoping your bar mitzvah day is a proud and happy one for you!”
• “Mazel tov, Bat Mitzvah. May you continue to grow in wisdom and faith from this day on.”
• “Wishing you a great time celebrating your bar mitzvah…I hope it’s a day you’ll always look back on with pride and happiness.”

Helpful tip: First timer? If so, you could make an added connection by mentioning that in what you write: “Your bar mitzvah is the first one I’ve been lucky enough to be invited to. It’s such an honor to be a part of it. Thanks for including me in your big day!”

Pride and Compliments  

One does not become a bar/bat mitzvah simply by showing up on the big day. There is diligent study and preparation involved, and that’s worthy of a callout. You might choose to highlight all the hard work and schvitzing (sweating) with a message of pride or with a compliment for the bar/bat mitzvah.

• “So proud of the dedicated way you’ve prepared for this day. Great job—and mazel tov!”
• “We were always proud of the girl you were, and we’re even prouder of the woman you become today.”
• “No one could have worked harder or done more to deserve this day. Way to show what you’re made of!”
• “I hope you feel proud of yourself as you wear the tallit and read from the Torah. And I hope you feel how proud you’ve made everyone around you, too.”
• “A bar mitzvah is more than a party. It’s an important step in your faith and a big accomplishment, too. So mazel tov and hats off to you!”
• “It’s so much fun to congratulate a bat mitzvah as smart and talented as you! Celebrating you today and looking forward to watching your life unfold in amazing ways.”
• “If ever a bar mitzvah deserved a great party, it’s you! Enjoy it! You’ve earned it!”
• “It’s no easy thing to stand up and be the center of attention on your bat mitzvah day, but we know how hard you’ve worked, and we know you’re going to do yourself and your family proud.”

Helpful tip: If it’s helpful, you could think of a bar/bat mitzvah as a little like a graduation. Of course, a bar/bat mitzvah has a spiritual significance that graduations don’t have. However, the sense of a worthy goal achieved, of pride in hard work and of a young person moving on to a new stage in their life—all these things hold true for both occasions.

Faith and Tradition  

Celebrating the faith and deep-rooted traditional aspects of a bar/bat mitzvah is another great way to go with your message. And luckily, you don’t have to have a rabbi’s understanding of the occasion to write something that’s both honoring and meaningful.

• “Here’s to you, Bat Mitzvah—shining bright today and carrying the light of faith into tomorrow.”
• “What a joy it is to welcome a young man like you to our community of faith. Mazel tov.”
• “Warmest congratulations on your bar mitzvah. It’s inspiring to think of you taking your place in your faith community and carrying on such an enduring tradition.”
• “Mazel tov, Bat Mitzvah. God bless you and guide you today and always.”
• “Today you follow in the footsteps of so many generations who came before you…and step into a future made brighter by your love for your faith, your family and your community.”
• “Blessings on you as you celebrate your bat mitzvah.”
• “Hoping you learned lessons that will always stay with you as you studied and prepared for your bar mitzvah. May the Torah’s teachings continue to guide you and bring you happiness throughout your life.”
• “Congratulations on your bat mitzvah! What a wonderful way to honor your rich heritage and celebrate your faith.”

Helpful tip: As part of the occasion, a bar/bat mitzvah will sometimes declare a cause that they plan to advocate for. It’s one way of embracing their new adult status and doing some real good with it. It’s a very cool thing—and it may inspire some new thoughts for you as you think about what you want to write.

Funny Messages  

Even though a bar/bat mitzvah is a serious occasion, there’s still room for a little good-natured humor—especially if you know the bar/bat mitzvah well and have a good sense of what they’d find funny. Money is a customary gift for a bar/bat mitzvah, so it’s an especially easy way to infuse a little humor into your written message.

• “Today you begin your journey into womanhood…but somehow you still have a 10 p.m. curfew. Oh well. One step at a time, right?”
• “Happy bar mitzvah! Have the most fun a guy can have with all your family right there watching your every move.”
• With money/gift card enclosed: “First of all, so proud of you! Second—and more importantly—here’s a little something to show you just how proud.”
• With money/gift card enclosed: “Hope the happy bat mitzvah glow just lasts and lasts. (This little gift is meant to help with that!)”
• With money/gift card enclosed: “For all that extra wisdom you’ve stored away in your heart…here’s a little extra cash for your pocket. Mazel tov!”
• “There’s never, ever been a bar mitzvah quite like you! (That’s supposed to be a compliment, in case you couldn’t tell.)”
• “Okay, so great new dress, cute shoes, awesome party…I’m a little jealous that I didn’t get all this when I was 13. Okay, a LOT jealous. But I’m still so happy for you! Mazel tov!”

Helpful tip: Joking about gifts and celebrating is one thing. Summoning up offensive stereotypes or poking fun at Jewish culture is another—and should absolutely be avoided. When in doubt, skip the funny and keep your message straightforward.

Warm Closings  

A warm closing before your signature provides a nice finishing touch for your bar/bat mitzvah message. Choose one of ours or come up with one of your own.

• Congratulations,
• Warmest congratulations,
• Lots of love,
• Love always,
• Much love to you,
• All my/our love,
• All the best,
• Proud of you,
• With pride and best wishes,
• greeting card messages

Shop This Idea

You may also like, graduation what to write in a graduation card.

Hats off to graduates! Whether they’re earning a diploma, a program certificate, a degree or even a cool new professi...

Valentine's Day 100+ kids valentine messages: From kid-to-kid, for teacher and more

Refrigerator doors everywhere will soon be covered with valentines from kids. The right message added inside can make...

Christmas Christmas wishes: What to write in a Christmas card

Get sample messages, tips and watch our new video guide to write the perfect Christmas card.

Mother's Day What to write in a Mother's Day card

Chances are you know at least a few moms who deserve a shout-out on Mother’s Day. If you’d like some creative ideas f...

Valentine's Day Valentine messages: What to write in a Valentine's Day card

Back in the day, when you had to come up with a valentine for everyone in your class, it was enough just to sign your...

Father's Day Father's Day messages: What to write in a Father's Day card

Find just the right Father's Day message to tell Dad just how much you appreciate him.

Card Ideas Card messages for kids: What to write in a kid’s birthday card

After the birthday party, when the calm has returned, is when my kids come back to their birthday cards. The cards ar...

Card Ideas Card messages for kids: What to write in a kid’s holiday card and more

My 3-year-old was having a hard time at preschool drop-off. Dragging his feet. Asking to stay home. This went on a fe...

Birthday What to write in a birthday card

Some people have no problem coming up with what to write in a birthday card. Just hand them a pen and they’ll effortl...

Card Ideas What to write: Message ideas for Administrative Professionals Day

Everyone knows that behind every well-run office is a great administrative assistant, and Administrative Professional...

Care & Concern What to Write When Trying to Reconcile With a Loved One

Being estranged from someone hurts, plain and simple. And in today’s society, it’s increasingly common. According to ...

Card Ideas What to Say When Someone Loses a Pet

My first cat died when I was 8 years old. His name was Barnabus—after the soap opera vampire—and he was a handsome bl...

Card Ideas What to Write: Birthday Messages for Your Wife

No matter how long you’ve been married, you know that words mean a lot. And sometimes, the right words at the right t...

Encouragement Encouragement Messages: What to Write in an Encouragement Card

Everyone can use a little encouragement now and then. Sadly, both inner struggles and external setbacks are an una...

Card Ideas What to write: Messages for grandparents

Nana, Bumpa, Gam, Pop…such short names for people who hold such a big part of your heart! Maybe it’s because they spo...

Card Ideas What to Write: Birthday Wishes for Sisters

Our relationships with our sisters can be beautiful, fun and funny, complex and complicated, and even messy things. S...

Card Ideas What to write: 238 short, sweet and funny gift card message ideas

There are some people who are inclined to say that gift cards are impersonal. But we’re here to offer the opinion tha...

Sympathy What to Write in a Sympathy Card

Signing a sympathy card isn’t easy. We search for words. We wonder what would be comforting to hear. We worry abou...

Thank You What to write in a thank-you card

Express your gratitude with these thank you messages and ideas from Hallmark card writers.

Card Ideas What to Write in a Teacher Appreciation Card

Teachers have one of the most demanding jobs on the planet—educating and caring for entire rooms full of children who...

Added to your cart

We're sorry.

There was an error adding this product to your cart. Please close this window and try again.

A Special Bat Mitzvah

Jerusalem : Compass of the Diaspora Jew

5 (spiritual) ways to beat the heat, shema hashem: remembering the toulouse tragedy, three awesome hamentashen recipes.

Our weekly email is chockful of interesting and relevant insights into Jewish history, food, philosophy, current events, holidays and more...

A great idea that should be part of everyone’s celebration.

Something wonderful happened to me the other day. It wasn’t something big. It wasn’t something dramatic. It wasn’t something expected. But it was something lovely and wonderful – a small gesture that made a big difference.

I went to a Bat Mitzvah the other night, a celebration for my friend’s daughter. It was a beautiful and moving occasion, as a Bat Mitzvah should be. And perhaps it was even more emotional because the couple had struggled a Bat Mitzvah’s worth of years (as the father put it) to give birth to this child. There was extra joy in the air.

But there was something else also, something much more basic and much more important. There was gratitude.

Now we’ve all heard many Bar and Bat Mitzvah speeches. Everyone thanks their parents (right after the out-of-town relatives and a list of where they came from). Some people (not nearly enough) thank the Almighty. Sometimes it’s heartfelt. Sometimes it’s pro forma. Sometimes it’s somewhere in the middle. And sometimes it’s hard to tell if they really mean it.

But this young girl did something special and unique that clearly emanated straight from her heart. She wrote a thank you note to each of guests – before she received her gifts! Because the note wasn’t about the presents, it was an expression of what this particular attendee means to her. And it wasn’t brief, a mere line or two. It wasn’t generic. It was a few paragraphs describing the role our family had played in her life, reliving some shared experiences and memories and expressing gratitude for the very specific ways in which we had enhanced her life.

It was unbelievable.

There were 115 guests (I know because I set the tables!) so you can imagine the time and effort involved. It was very impressive.

Much as we try to avoid it, most Bar Mitzvah boys and Bat Mitzvah girls get a little (or a lot) caught up in themselves. With all that focus and attention, it’s hard not to.

This is a great way to avoid the trap of self-centeredness. It’s the perfect way to teach our children about showing appreciation. It’s a powerful means of giving our children an understanding of the meaning of community, that it really does take a village.

The party was a lot of fun. The speeches were simultaneously funny and moving (we expected no less since the father is a writer). But what impacted me the most were those notes. When the rest of the evening fades, I’ll remember those kind and thoughtful missives. I was touched by what the guest of honor wrote to me and really taken with the idea.

I think it’s something we should all incorporate into our children’s Bar/Bat Mitzvah celebrations. I wish I’d thought of it before my girls had their Bat Mitzvah celebrations. It would have enhanced and deepened everyone’s experience of the day, and no one more so than the Bat Mitzvah girl herself.

RECOMMENDED NEXT READ

• Human Interest

• Torah Portion
• Ways to Wisdom
• Holocaust Studies
• Prayer & Kabbalah
• Ask the Rabbi
• Legacy Giving
• Shabbat Times
• Aish World Center
• Israel Programs

• Weekly Torah Portion
• Prayer and Kabbalah
• Western Wall Camera
• Jewish Name & Birthday
• Candle Lighting Times
• One-on-One Learning
• Submit Articles
• Contact Aish
• Privacy Policy

Login or signup

What to write in a bar/bat mitzvah card.

More popular now than ever, Bar and Bat Mitzvahs are a very big deal for the participants, their families and friends. These happy occasions celebrate the coming of age of 12 and 13 year old girls and boys in the Jewish faith community. The event includes a religious service, which is often followed by a large celebration, such as an elaborate dinner, party or reception. And the young celebrants often receive money, gifts and lots of cards to congratulate them on becoming adults.

If someone you know is celebrating a Bar/Bat Mitzvah and you want to send a card but are not quite sure what to write in the message, we’ve got you covered. Just take a moment and check out our handy guide for some inspiration and top tips, so you can write a message that hits the spot perfectly.

What is a Bar/Bat Mitzvah card?

Bat and Bar Mitzvah ceremonies mark the transition into adulthood for young Jewish boys and girls aged 12 and 13 years old. This is when they become accountable for their own actions: before this age, parents will traditionally assume that responsibility.

Bar and Bat Mitzvah blessings are thought to date back to around the 5th century and even earlier; however, the first official ceremony was recorded in France during the 13th century. It would have looked a bit like a modern day celebration, with many of the elements that we would recognise in today’s modern day ceremonies present by the Middle Ages.

Those celebrating their Bat or Bar Mitzvah will have worked hard before the ceremony, which is called a Shabbat service. They’ll have learnt texts and chants, and on the day they will read aloud from the Torah and lead some prayers during the service. They will also usually make a speech, and the parents and other family members may also participate by saying blessings and making speeches too.

Why send a Bar/Bat Mitzvah card?

This day is a huge moment for any young adult – a celebration of them, their Jewish faith and the new responsibilities they are expected to take on in the community. A Bar or Bat Mitzvah is generally followed by some lavish festivities organized and attended by lots of family and friends who also bring gifts. 

A Bar Mitzvah card is a recognition of the event and a perfect way to contribute to the celebrations – something that the participants can keep forever to mark this important moment in their lives.

Writing something heartfelt

As a huge occasion in the Jewish faith community, this is often an emotional one too. Parents, family members and friends will be proudly watching and rooting for their youngsters throughout the service, hoping they are word perfect. And there are often plenty of happy tears. 

As a really significant moment in life, it’s one that deserves a message from the heart, so your Bar/Bat Mitzvah card message could reference how the star of the show has grown over the first 13 years of their lives and how excited you are to watch their rite of passage into young adulthood.

Here are just a few examples:

“It’s been such a pleasure watching you grow on your journey towards this momentous day. Mazel tov!”

“Congratulations on your Bat or Bar Mitzvah! I’m so proud of your accomplishments and look forward to watching you achieve wonderful things in the years to come.”

“Good luck and blessings as you journey into adulthood. We will be wishing you happiness, love and good fortune as you celebrate today.”

Writing something funny

A little humor never goes amiss – and it might even help alleviate any nerves, pressure and stress your friend or loved one is going through on the run up to their big day. Why not crack a PG joke and remind them of all the funny memories that you have shared? Think of something that will make your celebrant smile and chill out.

“Mazel tov! Today you will be officially grown up, so you can let me know what that’s like later!”

“Gifts, parties, cake and money – what’s not to like about a Bar/Bat Mitzvah?”

“Now you’re officially a man, does that mean we can’t put fake mice in your sister’s bedroom anymore? Only joking! Congratulations and have a great day.”

Writing something generic

You might not be very close to the person celebrating their big day, or you may not be of the Jewish faith yourself. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t send a Bat/Bar Mitzvah card with a message of support to let them know that you are wishing them well. 

If you are a little uncertain of the best message to include, here are a few ideas for you to consider. Also, if you are unsure about salutations, mazel tov is the Jewish way to say congratulations, and either is acceptable in your card – whether you are Jewish or not.

“All our best wishes and mazel tov as you celebrate your Bar Mitzvah today.”

“Our sincere congratulations and best wishes on your Bar/Bat Mitzvah. Have an amazing day.” 

And if you are still not quite sure what to write, how about saying congratulations and including a quote or saying in your Bar/Bat Mitzvah card instead?

“And the boy grew up, and the Lord blessed him.” – Judges 13:24

The perfect Bat/Bar Mitzvah card message

A Bar/Bat Mitzvah is a hugely significant event not just for the one who’s celebrating, but for their parents, family and all their friends as well. Help them celebrate by sending a memorable card to mark this key event in their lives, and wishing them every happiness and success as they make this momentous move from childhood into adulthood.

Recent posts

Start sending now