best man speech ending jokes

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The 50 Best Jokes For Your Best Man Speech

As the best man, you’re tasked with giving the toast—maybe the most famous one of the evening. For the big speech, it’s important to have some jokes scattered throughout. The couple gets to be sentimental. Her father gets to be sad and nostalgic. You need to bring the funny like it’s showtime at the Apollo. That’s no easy task, either. Luckily, there are dozens of jokes that have already been written that you can plug your buddy’s name into and carry on. We compiled some of our favorites for you here. Good luck!

Good evening everyone. I’m so happy to preside over the only five minutes that the bride didn’t plan. Of course, I’m only kidding. We went over the speech 40 minutes ago in the hall.

It’s been an emotional day, even the cake is in tiers.

We’ve reached the moment in the evening where we get to watch the groom figet and worry in anticipation. Yes, everyone, I’ve been asked by the staff to give him the bill.

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Before I begin, I just want to apologize for not being an experienced public speaker. I’m probably going to spend most of the time looking at this piece of paper in my hands. Oh, it’s not my notes – it’s a picture of the triple Jameson I’m going to down as soon as this is over.

I just heard there was a lucrative pool on the length of the Best Man’s speech. I put my money on 40 minutes, so settle in…

Before I begin my speech, there’s just one order of business I’ve been asked to take care of. *Hold up pair of trousers with padlock on them* These are Jack’s Chastity Pants. I know he’s given keys out to various ladies over the years, but since he is now a married man, he’d like to get those copies back, so Jill is the only one with access. *Wait for the keys you strategically handed out to wedding guests to be brought up*

My name is Peter and I am the Best Man. Many of you would beg to differ, but shut up – I know your secrets.

Just a couple of rules before we begin. If you have a mobile phone – leave it switched on, entertain yourselves. And if anyone texts you any good jokes, kindly pass them up to the front.”

I’ve been told I won’t get away with a few thank yous and a quick toast. Apparently, as Best Man, I’m supposed to sing the Groom’s praises and talk about his good qualities. Unfortunately, I can’t sing and I won’t lie.

My speech today will be like a mini-skirt.  Long enough to cover the essentials but short enough to hold your attention!

Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen – Before I came here today one of my good friends gave me some advice on giving this speech. He said think of it like walking through a nudist camp, it’s only hard for the first minute.

Now he’s getting a bit older he’s turning his attention more and more to gadgets, constantly buying stuff from ebay, amazon and I want one of those dot com. I swear he didn’t have an interest in women until he overheard someone say the secret to women was knowing what buttons to press.

I read somewhere the perfect best man speech should last as long as it takes for the groom to make love. So ladies and gentlemen, please raise a glass to the happy couple!

Sally is a bright, charming, wonderful woman, who deserves a good husband. It’s such a shame Harry swooped in before she could find one.

I think the main reason we’ve lasted as friends all these years is because you’re geographically convenient…and you had a trampoline.

Jack is the kindest friend anyone could ask for; a man whose philanthropy knows no bounds. ‘Generosity’ should be his middle name. He would do anything for me; like helping write a section of the best man speech because you forgot about it until late last night at the bar!

Jack was in a pub when he proposed. No, really, it was actually very romantic – he got up on one knee.

It’s strange to be giving a speech like this one, because my parents always told me that if I had nothing good to say about someone, I should just be quiet.

Seeing the happy couple walking down the aisle earlier today, I’m sure we all agree that the bride looked simply stunning. The groom, on the other hand, simply looked stunned.

So I’m the best man, although I think I was picked by default since the groom doesn’t really have any other friends.

I can only say in my defense that Mike and I share a common sense of humor so if this speech is in anyway unfunny please “Feel Free to Blame Mike.”

I’d also like to congratulate Keith on a truly magnificent speech, I always knew it would be hard to follow, and I was right, I could hardly follow a word of it.

John did tell me that the vicar was firmly against sex before marriage. However, Jane did assure him it would only take a couple of minutes.

Rest assured though, unlike most traditional best man speeches, which are full of sexual innuendo, I’ve promised Dan and Anne that if there is anything slightly risqué, I’ll whip it out immediately …”

Although Ria did actually tell me Paul has always brightened up her life. Well, she actually said he never turned the lights off but it amounts to the same thing pretty much.

I’ll try to keep my speech short, because every extra minute I speak is an extra minute’s delay in witnessing how the Groom’s dance lessons worked out.

I do have to say though how lucky you are Dave, you’re leaving with a beautiful wife whom you love. And you, Miranda, you get to go home with such a nice new dress and beautiful bouquet of flowers, it’s great.

Jill, you are an amazing woman who deserves a wonderful husband. And I promise you I won’t rest until I get to the bottom of what’s gone wrong here.

Being asked to be the best man is about five minutes of glowing pride, followed by an eternity of panic and misery. Linda, I expect you had a similar experience when Paul asked you to be his wife.

I spoke to both Sally and Paul before the Wedding and I asked Paul what he was looking for in Marriage – he said “Love, happiness and a long life together.” When I asked Sally the same question – she replied – A coffee percolator!

Speaking of Jane, I would like to say how beautiful she looks today in that fantastic dress …Dan likes it too, as he told me in the church it will blend in just nicely well with the rest of the kitchen.

Someone once said that marriage is a 50/50 partnership, but anyone who believes that clearly knows nothing about women or fractions!”

When I saw Linda heading up the aisle with her father, I thought “At last she’s seen sense, and got herself a man with looks and money.”

Before proposing, Paul went to ask Linda’s father for her hand in marriage. He said that it was fine by him, providing Paul took the hand that had spent 20 years fishing into his wallet!

I recognize my place here; being best man at a wedding is like being the dead body at a funeral. You’re expected to be there, but if you say too much people start freaking out.

If you can’t hear me in the back, let the silence in the front assure you that you’re not really missing out on anything.

A Best Man is like a dog. You love him, care about him, and he’s only thrown up and ruined your upholstery twice.

I would like to start by saying what a pleasure it is to be Best Man at Jack and Jill’s wedding. Jack made me compete for this honor today, but I was able to beat Mark the Bartender over there in rock-paper-scissors, so here I am!

I found the speech length really difficult to settle on. At one point, it ran to almost 70 minutes, so I cut it down to a five-minute speech but I just felt like too many important things were being left out. So I came to a compromise – I’m going to read the five-minute speech. Then straight afterwards, I’ll do 70-minute one and you guys can tell me which speech I should use.

What can you say about a man who came from humble beginnings and is now rising to the top of his industry based solely on his intelligence, grit and willpower? A man whose charisma knows no bounds and who has already distinguished himself amongst his peers? Because I’m trying to write my Tinder profile and I’m having trouble summarizing myself.

When I sat down to write this speech I Googled “perfect best man speech”, but you had to pay to read the examples and I didn’t think it was worth it, so I’m gonna wing it.

I admit, I’m extremely nervous right now. As the people sitting near to me at the table can testify, it really is possible to smell fear.”

I must admit, I’m not used to speaking in public. Until now I thought a toastmaster was a kitchen appliance.

The trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you never get to prove it.

You know, it’s been said that being asked to be best man is like being asked to make love to Camilla Parker Bowles.. It’s a great honor but you don’t really want to do it!

I’ve been anxious about giving this speech for a while now. Fortunately last night I slept like a baby. Waking up every two hours and bawling my eyes out. Ten minutes ago, I had to ask a complete stranger to burp me.

Dave was telling me that the amazing meal this evening was charged on a cost-per-head basis, so, on the bride and groom’s behalf, I’d like to thank the following people for not coming…

What’s the difference between in-laws and out-laws? Outlaws are wanted.”

Leading up to today John and Jane were having an issue with the seating plan. Who would sit comfortably in here & who would have to get up and stand during the speeches so we decided to use wedding present list, biggest presents at front and work it back from there. So hopefully you can hear me at the back when I say on behalf of Jane and John thank‐you very much for the teaspoons.

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The Most Hilarious Best Mans Speech Jokes

Author: Hollie Bond

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Best Man Speech Opening Jokes

Jokes about the newlyweds, self-deprecating best man jokes, jokes to end the best man's speech.

Feeling the pressure to deliver a best man’s speech that will make every guest in the room laugh? Keep guests young and old entertained for the whole speech with these funny best man’s speech jokes.

It’s such an honour to be asked to be a best man and this VIP role comes with many fun and important tasks (if you’re not sure what they are check out our guide to being a brilliant best man here). One of the tasks many best men dread though is writing and delivering the best man speech on the wedding day. Unless you’re a natural public speaker or have spent time on stage, it can be a pretty daunting prospect, especially when you consider that the best man speech is traditionally known to be the funniest and most looked forward to of all the speeches.

The good news is, you’re not alone and thousands of other best men before you have sat and stared at a blank piece of paper for hours before finally getting the inspiration to write an awesome best man speech.

We’ve got a comprehensive guide on how to write a brilliant groom’s speech here to help you with the structure, format, and length. But, once you have the general gist and bare bones of the best man speech jotted down, it’s time to insert some funny jokes into each section, to keep all the guests chuckling with laughter from start to finish.

Remember you’re not expected to be a professional stand-up comedian, Michael McIntyre style, and a wedding is often an emotional day, so it’s absolutely fine to make jokes that are unique to the couple or situation and also to include a heartfelt sentiment or two in between all the gags. To help you on your way to going down in history as the best best man ever, we’ve rounded up some of the greatest tried-and-tested best man speech jokes and one-liners that’ll easily fit into most wedding speeches. Feel free to tailor them to fit the newlyweds you’re talking about. Good luck!

What shouldn’t the best man joke about?

When it comes to writing your best man speech, there are certain topics that are strictly off-limits. It’s important to spend time thinking about things that will come across badly or offend any guests and really consider every sentence carefully before it makes the final edit.

Mentioning the groom’s ex-girlfriends or a previous wife is a definite no-go, as is talking about the groom’s sex life in any way. So that means no mention of the impending wedding night too. Anecdotes about the groom can be best man speech gold, but you need to get to the punch line within a few sentences otherwise you’ll lose the audience and always make sure any anecdotes will amuse all types of guests.

The best man should always avoid joking about the bride too. Unless you’re really good mates with her and know her well enough to have a giggle with her, then it’s best to just say something heartfelt and lovely about her.

Jokes containing swear words should also be avoided. While the younger generation of guests might not flinch when you swear, older members of the audience could be extremely offended. Finally, it’s best to steer clear of making a joke about how long it took for the groom to propose if that was the case. Not only does it make the bride look like all she wanted was a ring on her finge, it also might be an area of contention between the couple so won’t come across as funny to them.

And remember, you’re not the next Al Murray or Michael McIntyre so you don’t need to pepper your speech with one-liners worthy of a stand-up routine. Only joke about things that are genuinely amusing and specific to the groom at the wedding you’re attending rather than anything too generic that you’ve found on the internet.

Starting the best man’s speech is the most difficult part. Once you’ve said a few words, shaken off those nerves, and realised the crowd isn’t full of people about to throw tomatoes at you, you’ll get into your stride, but those first few sentences can be pretty scary.

The trick is to get the audience on your side from the off with a short and easy-to-understand joke that sets the tone for the speech to follow. Here are some great opener ideas for best man speeches.

1) If there’s anybody here today who’s feeling nervous, apprehensive and queasy at the thought of what lies ahead, it’s probably because you’ve just married [NAME OF THE GROOM].

2) Good evening. I’m so happy to preside over the only five minutes that the bride didn’t plan. Of course, I’m only joking. She went over the speech with me half an hour ago in the bar.

3) Everyone here who knows Sophie will know that she is a wonderful and kind person, who deserves a good husband. Thank god Theo married her before she found one.

4) We’ve now reached the point in the proceedings when we all get to see the Groom shift uncomfortably in his seat and grip the tablecloth in nervous anticipation. That’s right, I’ve been asked to give him the drinks bill.

5) It’s been an emotional day, even the cake is in tiers.

6) I just heard there was a competitive sweepstake on the length of the Best Man’s speech. I put my money on 45 minutes, so settle in…

7) My name is James and I am the Best Man. Many of you would beg to differ, but you’d do well to keep quiet – I know your secrets.

8) I’d like to congratulate the Groom on a truly magnificent speech. I always knew it would be hard to follow and I was right – I could hardly follow a word of it.

9) Being asked to be someone’s best man is like being called up for jury duty. You don’t really want to do it, but know you have to. You’re made to dress in a suit and pretend to be an upstanding member of the community. The only difference is I didn’t have a say if the life sentence passed earlier today.

10) I did ask for a microphone but was told one wasn’t available. So if you can’t hear me at the back, the silence from the people at the front should reassure you that you’re not missing out on anything.

11) I’ve been told I can’t get away with a few thank yous and a quick toast in this speech. Apparently, as Best Man, I’m supposed to sing the Groom’s praises and talk about his good qualities. Unfortunately, I can’t sing and I won’t lie.

12) Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Before I came here today one of my good friends gave me some advice on giving this speech. He said think of it like walking through a nudist camp, it’s only hard for the first minute.

13) You’ve got no idea how much I’ve been looking forward to today. After all the time I’ve been friends with the Groom, he has at long last admitted that I am in fact the best man.

14) Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Before I begin, I just want to apologise for not being an experienced public speaker. I’m probably going to spend most of the time looking at this piece of paper in my hands. Oh, it’s not my notes – it’s a picture of the triple vodka I’m going to down as soon as this is over.

15) Firstly I’d like to say I’m very nervous about making this speech. In fact this must be the third time today that I’ve stood up from a warm seat with pieces of paper in my hand.

16) I don’t believe in roasting the groom on his special day. Therefore this speech won’t contain anything embarrassing or controversial about Matt. Instead I’ll refer only to the kind, funny side of his character. Thank you and goodnight.

17) It’s strange to be giving a speech like this one, because my parents always told me that if I had nothing good to say about someone, I should just be quiet.

18) Loyal, caring, sincere, honest, a great man… but that’s enough about me, I’m here to give a speech about Arthur!

19) For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Sam and for those of those who do know me…I apologise. My full name is actually ‘Sam-would-you-like-a-drink’. For those of you who I chat to in the bar later, I’d appreciate it if you could use my full name.

20) Please keep clapping and cheering to a minimum. I’m terribly hungover. I know, you shouldn’t drink the night before a wedding, but I couldn’t very well let the groom drink alone, could I?

21) Now, before I start, the venue manger has asked me to request that, for reasons of health and safety, none of you get up on top of the chairs and tables during my standing ovation.

22) I have no problem admitting to you all that I’m extremely nervous right now. And, as the people sitting near the front of the room can attest, it is actually possible to smell fear.

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Once you’ve opened the best man’s speech and given the guests an idea of the tone and also helped them relax, knowing that you’re not about to deliver a complete car crash of a speech, it’s time to get personal.

Remember, the best man’s speech is mostly intended as an ode to the groom and your friendship and to give the guests an idea of what the main man at the wedding is really like behind closed doors!

You can also include some jokes about the bride (or another groom at a same-sex wedding), although keep these minimal as the father of the bride will have spent a large part of his speech talking about his daughter. As well as these tried-and-tested quips, try to include a few jokes that are specific and personal to your friend, to ensure the groom and his guests feel like you do actually know and love him!

23) So where do I start about Ben? Well, for starters he’s handsome, witty, intelligent, he’s charm…sorry… Ben, I’m having trouble reading you handwriting. You can tell me the rest later.

24) The bride and groom have asked that I don’t talk about Mike’s mishaps, mistakes, embarrassing moments or ex-girlfriends. So thanks for listening everyone, that’s it from me!

25) I do have to say though Rowan just how lucky you are. You will leave here today with a wife who is warm, loving and caring. And Margot, how lucky you are as well. You leave here today having gained a lovely dress and a wonderful bouquet of flowers.

26) Helen please put your left hand flat on the table. Paul please place your hand on top of hers. Enjoy this moment Paul because it’s the first and last time in your marriage that you’ll have the upper hand.

27) We all know the bride is a wonderful lady who deserves the perfect guy. Too bad you don’t always get what you deserve.

28) Well, I do hope that Meghan and Harry enjoy their honeymoon in Wales. I assume that’s where they’re going anyway… When I asked Harry what he was doing after the wedding, he said he was going to Bangor for a fortnight.

29) I’ve been instructed by the bride and groom to keep this speech smut-free, so if I come across any innuendo, I’ll whip it out immediately.

30) Harry is the kindest friend anyone could ask for; a man whose philanthropy knows no bounds. ‘Generosity’ should be his middle name. He would do anything for me; like helping write a section of the best man speech because I forgot about it until late last night at the bar!

30) Seeing the happy couple walking down the aisle earlier today, I’m sure we all agree that the bride looked simply stunning. The groom, on the other hand, simply looked stunned.

31) I’ll try to keep my speech short, because every extra minute I speak is an extra minute’s delay in witnessing how the Groom’s dance lessons worked out.

If the groom is known to be a bit of a tech geek or a gamer…

32) Now he’s getting a bit older he’s turning his attention more and more to gadgets, constantly buying stuff online. I swear he didn’t have an interest in women until I told him the secret to women was knowing what buttons to press.

33) Being asked to be the best man is about five minutes of glowing pride, followed by an eternity of panic and misery. Jane, I expect you had a similar experience when David asked you to be his wife.

34) Someone once said that marriage is a 50/50 partnership, but anyone who believes that clearly knows nothing about women or fractions!

35) When I saw Kate heading up the aisle with her father, I thought “At last she’s seen sense, and got herself a man with looks and money.”

36) Before proposing, William went to ask Kate’s father for her hand in marriage. He said that it was fine by him, providing William took the hand that had spent 25 years fishing into his wallet.

37) I’ve been asked by many how I’m going to cope with my best friend being married and spending all of his time loved up at home. I’m thrilled! I’ll finally be able to talk to women without him cramping my style.

It’s a classic and winning tool in British humour – the self-deprecating joke, where you take the mick out of yourself in order to make the crowd both laugh and also get them on your side straight away. Here are some of the best ways to put yourself down in hilarious fashion.

38) I would like to start by saying what a pleasure it is to be Best Man at Charles and Camilla’s wedding. Charles made me compete for this honour today, but I was able to beat the barman over there in rock-paper-scissors, so here I am!

39) The trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you never get to prove it.

40) I’ve been worried about giving this speech for a while now. Fortunately last night I slept like a baby. Waking up every two hours and bawling my eyes out.

You’ll probably want to end the speech on more of a heartfelt note or with some sort of thanks and advice for the newlyweds, but there’s always time to get a couple of more jokes in at the groom’s expense beforehand…

41) Ryan was telling me that the amazing meal this evening was charged on a cost-per-head basis, so, on the bride and groom’s behalf, I’d like to thank the following people for not coming…

42) I’ve just got some last messages here to read out: one from Greg’s football team to Jacqui: “Apologies we couldn’t all be there today, good luck with Greg, we found him to be useless in most positions, but wishing you all the best for tonight.”

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Hollie Bond

Hollie is a lifestyle journalist with over ten years’ experience working in the wedding industry as Lifestyle Editor for You & Your Wedding magazine Also a Regional Editor for Muddy Stilettos, Hollie has written for Square Meal magazine, Family History Monthly, BBC History magazine and Homes & Antiques. In her spare time you can find Hollie in a dance studio practising ballet…

Learn more about Hollie Bond

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66 Creative Toasts to End Your Best Man Speech

• Posted by by Lisa Plaitt

As the best man, you will have the duty of writing a speech for the newlyweds. During this time, you can keep it lighthearted and playful, or opt for something straightforward and simple.

No matter what, you will have to make sure that you honor the bride and groom, and wish them a happy future together. 

While you might have the best man’s speech down to a T , how do you end it with a toast? In this article we have put together 66 different ways to give your best man toast that you can adapt and change.

So, whether you are looking to make fun of the newlyweds, or want to keep it serious, here are 66 ways to raise a glass to the lucky couple. 

Toasts to the Happy Couple

• “To my best friend [NAME] and his beautiful wife/groom [NAME] – here is to a wonderful future filled with lots of love and true happiness.”
• “It has been a huge honor to be your best man. However, it has become an even bigger honor to ask everyone in this room to toast the newly married couple. To the bride and groom!”
• “Let us all wish the bride and groom many years of love and happiness. May you be the kind of friends that only lovers can be. May you love each other in the way only best friends are able to.”
• “To the happy couple, may their love story unfold like a fairytale, with many a happy ending, and not a single wicked stepmother in sight.”
• “Here’s to the couple, may their love be like a cozy fire in the winter – warm, comforting, and always there to chase away the chill.”
• “To the newlyweds – may you always look at each other with the same sparkle in your eyes as when you first met!”
• “May their marriage be filled with love, laughter, and a mutual understanding that no matter what, they will always be each other’s wingman.”
• “Let us lift our glasses in celebration of the union of two remarkable individuals. May your marriage be a testament to how you both make each other stronger, more self-assured and madly in love with one another through the years.”
• “May your marriage never feel like hard work, but instead be full of moments that are as easy as breathing. May it bring out the best in you and give you even more reason to be thankful every day.”
• “Let’s raise a glass to a love that will make even Cupid jealous, and may their marriage be filled with laughter, adventure, and all the good things in life.”

Toasts to the Groom

• “Cheers to the groom, who has found a partner in life who can tolerate his witty humor and two left feet on the dance floor.”
• “A heartfelt congrats to the groom who finally found the missing piece to his puzzle, and I have to say, she fits him like a glove – a really pretty, elegant glove.”
• “To the handsome groom, may your love for your bride continue to be the anchor that steadies you both through life’s storms.”
• “May you, dear groom, be imbued with courage, wisdom, and love to be the best husband and partner you can be.”
• “Here’s to the groom, for having great taste in women! He found his queen among a sea of frogs and convinced her that she’s a real princess. May your love story last forever, and may you live happily ever after! Now, let’s raise our glasses and drink before she run away at midnight! Cheers!”
• “Here’s to the groom: he may have once been a single man, but now he’s got two bosses!”
• “Cheers to the groom, who is finally taking the plunge after years of dating! Now that you have found your perfect match, I just hope she doesn’t change her mind and leave you heartbroken. So make sure to stay on your best behavior – no more late nights out with the boys!”
• “In honor of this special day, I’d like to offer the groom some advice: As long as you two are willing to split the remote control and always make sure there’s enough toilet paper in the house, I’m confident your marriage will last forever.”

Toasts to the Bride

• To the beautiful bride, may your happiness be as radiant and timeless as the dress you wear today.
• Here’s to the woman who stole the groom’s heart and forever captured his love.
• Let’s raise a glass to the bride, whose smile brightens up even the dreariest of days, and who, today, takes her vows with the one she loves most.
• You have brought so much light and beauty into the world and today, as you marry your soulmate, you shine brighter than ever.
• To the stunning bride, here’s to a lifetime of love and adventure, of sharing everything, and always standing by each other’s side.
• “Here’s to the bride! A woman with an eye for detail and a heart of gold. She never fails to surprise us all with her words and actions, but most especially with the way she loves our groom.”

Toasts to the Future

• “Let us toast to the remarkable bond my buddy and his partner possess. Even though it wasn’t easy, they made it through and taught us that no matter what challenges stand in the way, true love will always find a way. Cheers!”
• “Let nothing stand between the two of you—not even time or distance—and may every day bring more love than the last. Congratulations to the bride and groom! May your future be bright, beautiful, and full of blessings. Cheers!”
• “Wishing you both a lifetime of health and happiness, where you can continue to explore all that life has to offer together as one. May you keep smiling with every struggle and crying with every joy – knowing that whatever comes your way will bring even more strength to your relationship.”
• “Here’s to the beautiful journey ahead – may it always be filled with genuine happiness in each other’s arms! Congratulations!”
• “Here’s to the couple as they begin this next chapter in their lives together. May they have strength to overcome any obstacles that come their way, courage to take risks when necessary, and compassion to understand one another despite life’s differences.”
• “Let’s toast to the special bond shared between this loving couple – one filled with trust, respect and admiration. Here’s wishing them a long and happy life together as husband and wife, surrounded by family and friends who can’t help but smile when thinking about them!”

Funny Best Man Toasts

If you have created a best man speech that has plenty of funny lines that will capture the room and cause lots of laughter, then you will want to end it that way too.

Here you will find a few examples to get your inspiration flowing.

Related read: 60 Funny Wedding Wishes for Newlyweds

• “Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to celebrate the union of my best friend and his better half. I’d like to take this opportunity to raise a toast to them on such an auspicious occasion.”
• “To my best friend, I’m so happy he has found someone who loves him just as much as I do!”
• “To my dear friend [Groom’s name], who I’ve known since we were kids, I must say, it’s about time you grew up and got married. I mean, seriously, what took you so long? But, in all honesty, I couldn’t be happier for you, my friend.”
• “May their marriage be like coffee: strong, hot and never bitter!”
• “To the bride and groom, may their love be like a game of chess – always evolving, never boring, and always ending with a mate.”
• “It comes as no surprise that we were not shocked when [NAME] asked [NAME] to marry them. We knew [NAME] had found the one when he stopped playing his Playstation. To the happy couple!”
• “To the bride and groom, may they never argue over who is the real boss in their relationship, but instead always play rock, paper, scissors to settle it.”
• “For the last time, I am going to ask everyone in the room to raise their glass and – if you are still able to – stand and wish the newlyweds a happy and bright future!”
• “If you had trouble hearing me at the back – I did ask to use a microphone, but the silence at the front of the room should help to reassure you that you are not missing a thing. Here’s to the bride and groom!”

• “Before I end this speech, I want to give some advice to the best man. Always remember to say the three magical words: ‘You’re right dear’. To the bride and groom!”
• “Let’s make sure this day is just as special as possible; after all, you only get married once – or at least we hope you do.”
• “May the newlyweds find prosperity in all aspects of life, excluding a receding hairline, which seems to be an unavoidable reality.”
• “I once read that the best man’s speech should always take as long as the amount of time it takes the groom to make love. So, here is to the happy couple!”
• “Thank you everyone for keeping the clapping to a minimum today. I have a terrible hangover. I couldn’t let the groom drink alone last night, could I? Let’s raise a final glass to the new Mr and Mrs [NAME].”
• “And now that I have come to the end of my speech, it has been great to have been a part of the only few minutes the bride wasn’t able to plan. Here’s to the happy couple!”

Best Man Toasts for Brother

Sometimes your best man is your brother. Here are a few ideas to end that toast.

• “It is with great honor that I stand here today and raise a toast to my wonderful brother – may the next chapter of his life be just as amazing as the last! Cheers!”
• “To my best friend, who also happens to be my brother, and his new wife. Let’s raise a glass to the many wonderful years that are ahead. Now, let’s dance, be merry, and eat cake!”
• “It is said that as my brother’s best man I am supposed to talk about what good qualities he has, and to sing his praises. However, I won’t lie and I cannot sing. To the happy couple!”
• “So raise a glass to my bro, who has more friends than Instagram followers – but just as many likes!”
• “It became obvious that my brother had fallen in love and found the one when he spent a lot more time with [BRIDE] instead of his Xbox.”
• “Here’s to my bro! A man who knows what he wants in life, except for a wife. He was so sure of himself until that fateful day when she said yes and turned his world upside down.”
• “This day has been a long time coming. My brother has finally admitted that I am the best man.”
• “May this marriage be the beginning of a brand new chapter in your lives, and may it bring lots of love and wonderful moments that you can share together.

Toasts That Include a Quote 

If you like a good quote, then find one that suits the occasion. Here are a few to think about: 

• “To end this speech, I would like to tell you some wise words that Socrates once said: ‘My advice to you is to get married. If you find a good wife, you will be happy. If not, you will become a philosopher.’ To the newlyweds!”
• “Oscar Wilde once said: ‘The man who says his wife cannot take a joke forgets that she took him’. To the bride and groom!”
• “Just before we raise a glass to [NAME] and [NAME], here is something Pauline Thomason once said: ‘Love is blind. Marriage is an eye-opener.’ To the newlyweds!” 
• “Just like Dr. Seuss once said: ‘You know when you are in love when you cannot fall asleep because your reality is finally better than your dreams’.
• “Emily Bronte once said: ‘Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same’. To Mr and Mrs [NAME].”

Toasts to the Bridal Party

While not traditional (the groom is the one who often toasts the bridesmaids), you can also compliment them too. Here are some examples:

• “I want to say a special thank you to all the bridesmaids. They have been wonderful and helpful throughout the process and today.
• “To the bridesmaids: Here’s to you all for being there with my sister during this exciting time. May your friendship remain strong as she embarks on this wonderful journey of marriage and new beginnings.”
• “Please raise your glasses to… The bridesmaids!”
• “Here’s to two of the best bridesmaids anyone could ask for! Without you, the wedding day would not have come together as perfectly and joyfully as it did. From helping with the dress fittings to doting on the bride during her special day, I want to thank both of you for your unwavering support and friendship.”
• “To the bridesmaids – may they always stay as beautiful and graceful as they are today!”
• “To a long-lasting friendship between these beautiful ladies, who have been by each other’s side through thick and thin. May your bond be strong for many years to come.”

Final Thoughts

Whether you choose a heartfelt, humorous, or nostalgic toast, the most important thing is that your words come from the heart and reflect the love and joy of the newlyweds’ union.

With these 66 creative and meaningful toasts, you’ll have the confidence and inspiration you need to deliver a memorable and unforgettable best man speech.

So, raise your glass and make a toast to the happy couple and their beautiful future together.

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Lisa Plaitt

Hello, I’m Lisa Plaitt and I have been married to my wonderful husband for almost five years. We met almost a decade ago now and I love him more everyday. But on my wedding day - the day that was supposed to be about celebrating us - I was far too stressed to enjoy it. My husband proposed to me in spring and it was a very lowkey setting, in our backyard without anyone else around to see it. It was a perfect proposal. But then everything got real, and I was suddenly thrust into planning mode.

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