be the best version of yourself essay

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Take Ownership of Your Future Self

• Benjamin Hardy

Change is inevitable — but it’s not out of your control.

Your personality, skills, likes, and dislikes change over time — but that change isn’t out of your control. What can you do to become the version of yourself that you most want to be? Start by acknowledging the differences between your past, current, and future selves. Next, imagine your desired future self: Set goals that are as clear and specific as possible to maximize your chances of achieving them. Finally, develop (and re-develop) an identity narrative consistent with the person you want to become — and share that story with others! Your identity drives your behavior, which over time creates your personality. So start acting like the best version of yourself, and you will become that person.

In his TED Talk “ The Psychology of Your Future Self ,” Harvard psychologist Dr. Daniel Gilbert explains a bias that almost all of us have: We tend to think that the person we are today is the person we will always be.

• BH Benjamin Hardy is an organizational psychologist and the author of Willpower Doesn’t Work and Personality Isn’t Permanent . His blogs have been read by over 100 million people and he is a regular contributor to Inc. and Psychology Today . From 2015-2018, he was the #1 writer in the world on Medium.com. He and his wife Lauren adopted three children through the foster system in February 2018 and, one month later, Lauren became pregnant with twins, who were born in December of 2018. They live in Orlando.

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Home » Personal growth » Be the best version of you

How to be the best version of yourself

We live in a fast-paced world. We’re always searching for the next big thing, and we always want more than what we have. Yet lately there’s been a trend toward looking inward for fulfillment rather than outward. We want experiences over possessions. We want flexibility over income. And we want to focus on becoming who we really are.  

What does it mean to be the best version of yourself ? Does it mean living up to your potential – or is there more to it?   

If you’re like most people, these are the questions you’ve pondered as you search for identity, confidence and fulfillment in life . When the answers you find fall short of your expectations, you need to start asking the really important questions that lead you to understand how to maximize personal growth and be the best version of you .

Crush your limiting beliefs to become the best version of yourself

What drives you to become the best version of yourself?

Authentic self-discovery isn’t easy. It takes courage and tenacity. To approach your essential self, you must turn away from distracting false beliefs that cloud or distort your self-perception. You need to reveal what drives you – not superficial things like money or power, but what really drives you. Your ultimate purpose in life.  

If you’re feeling anxious about self-improvement, remember: E very person is completely unique. Someone else’s life path cannot be your benchmark of success, since they have different dreams, passions and skills. There is also no roadmap or ideal outcome in life, because everyone’s path is theirs and theirs alone.   

Ultimately, what drives your decisions – and the key to becoming best version of yourself – are your values and your standards. Your values make you who you are, but your standards define what you’re willing to accept in life. Will you accept being anything less than your authentic, incredible, powerful self?

Identifying your values

Before you can be the best version of yourself , you must uncover your essential “you-ness” – the values, interests and passions that define who you are in life and the world. Have a conversation with yourself just like you’d have on a first date. Pretend that your ideal self is sitting there with you and ask that person: What activities do you enjoy? Who do you enjoy being around? What impact do you want to make on the world? What is your happiest memory? Be sincere and honest in your answers.   

As you continue the conversation, pay attention to your feelings. If you notice “negative” emotions like anxiety or anger, you’re probably telling yourself subtle negative messages that obscure your conversation. Dig deeper into what’s driving the feeling. Are you afraid you’ll fail at finding yourself? Are you afraid of what you’ll find when you dig deep?  

As tempting as it is to feel inadequate, the truth is that each of us is fully complete just the way we are. It’s getting in touch with this essential self that will free you to be the best version of you . 

Once you’ve identified the person you want to be, you can plan how to become the best version of yourself. Start with the end in mind – your ideal self – and take concrete steps to get there. 

1. Let go of limiting beliefs

You know who you are – but do you know who you could be? Most of us are held back by limiting beliefs : untrue thoughts we have about our intrinsic nature. By learning to recognize and let go of whatever limiting beliefs are keeping you from becoming the best version of yourself , you’re able to push forward and find the person you really are.

2. Turn your “shoulds” into “musts”

To be the best version of yourself, you need to live with no regrets. You need to get out of your comfort zone , take risks and fail – yes, fail – so that you can get back up again and succeed. Stop telling yourself what you “should” do and start doing it. Use what Tony calls the rocking chair test. Imagine yourself old and gray, reflecting on your life. What are you most proud of? What do you most regret? This will reveal your “musts.”

3 . Amplify your strengths

Focus on your strengths and you’ll get even stronger in those areas, becoming more fully yourself along the way. Focusing on your strengths is also essential when you hit roadblocks – which you inevitably will. When you amplify your strengths , you remember what you’re bringing to the table, and you’ll crush the obstacles in your path.

4 . Develop a growth mindset

No one is made up of only strengths. We all have pain points that require attention if you want to be the best version of yourself. Successful people tackle this by having a growth mindset . They believe that there are no weaknesses. There are only opportunities for improvement. Rather than focusing on what they do badly, they focus on how they can improve – and take action to get there.

5 . Throw out expectations

Our beliefs create our world – but unfortunately, sometimes our beliefs are not our own. Like most of us, you’ve built at least part of your identity on others’ expectations. The process of internalizing others’ values was unconscious, and bringing it to consciousness is the essence of learning how to be the best version of yourself . Your vision for who you want to be must be yours – no one else’s.

6 . Be willing to shed your old identity

When you determine to find your ideal self, you’re essentially raising the bar – for yourself and the people you know. Your “old self” will resist this due to feelings of insecurity and fear of the unknown. Resist the urge to cling to the familiar – the identity that’s been holding you back – and embrace a can-do attitude.

7 . Tame your fears

Fear is an insidious adversary that robs us of our courage and distracts us from the present moment. Taming your fears is possible, and is necessary to better yourself. When you feel anxious , identify what you’re afraid of and write it down. Then, write down an alternative explanation that’s less scary while still being realistic. Even if your feelings don’t change right away, your mind will register the rationale. In time, the process of fact-checking your fears becomes habitual and you become less swayed by anxiety.

8 . Prioritize outcomes

Since understanding how to be the best version of yourself requires looking inward for wisdom, you won’t find yourself by gathering tons of information. Let your ideal self set a goal. Pick something plain and achievable, like getting organized or reading more fiction. Making a measurable goal is one of the most effective ways to get out of your head and build confidence.

10 . Create empowering rituals

No one would argue that the world’s most successful athletes, entrepreneurs and leaders have become the best versions of themselves. There’s one thing they all have in common: T hey’ve developed habits that make them great . This could mean meditation, priming or goal visualization to put them in an empowered state of being. It always includes eating healthy and exercising. And more often than not, it includes practicing gratitude every day.

11 . Have compassion for yourself

Being the best version of yourself is about you – not other people. Stop comparing yourself to others and recognize that everyone is on a different path. If you’re not where you’d like to be, have compassion for yourself. You’re at a crossroads, and that’s fine. Instead of scrolling through social media or getting down about a recent setback, practice self-love . Get outside and go for a walk. Do something you enjoy. Always remember to check negative self-talk and replace it with empowering words. 

12 . Manage yourself effectively

Part of understanding how to be the best version of yourself is learning to be your own boss through effective self-management. Effective time management sets you free from stress, steers you toward your ideal self and relieves you of others’ expectations. To stay accountable and in control of your resources, check in on your progress monthly, quarterly and yearly. Becoming your own best boss makes you a better resource for your team. 

13 . Stay positive

As you learn how to be the best version of yourself , you’re sure to hit roadblocks and obstacles. Instead of getting discouraged, cultivate “positive” emotions like passion, curiosity and flexibility. Look at obstacles as opportunities instead of defeats. By staying positive, you’ll find creative solutions you’d miss if you had remained bogged down in self-defeating thoughts.

14. Give back

Contribution is one of our Six Human Needs and an essential element of what makes us feel fulfilled. When we give back to our communities , we feel a greater sense of gratitude and abundance in our own lives. Volunteering – whether by giving your time, skills, knowledge or money – is one way in which you can be the best version of you no matter who you are.  

Become the best version of yourself

Reach your highest potential today by attending Unleash the Power Within.

© 2024 Robbins Research International, Inc. All rights reserved.

How To Be the Best Version of Yourself

Ken Mazaika , CTO and co-founder of thefirehoseproject.org, answered the question, “What can I do to make sure I am becoming the best version of myself?” on Quora .

I identified 21 actions that could help you become the best version of yourself.

#19 is the most actionable of them all.

1. Just show up. Say you want to run a marathon, but have no prior experience. The first step is lacing up you shoes and hitting the pavement. Even if you only make it half a mile on your first training run, you’ll be about 2% closer to your ultimate goal than if you didn’t put in any work at all.

2. Start from the beginning. You don’t just happen to stumble upon the best version of yourself. You need to start from the beginning and take a high number of small steps in order to become what you envision.

3. Recognize that the best version of yourself should be your vision, not anybody else’s. Don’t waste energy trying to live up to what somebody else wants you to be.

Related from Quora: How can I be a superhuman in all areas?

4. Stop looking for a secret trick. There is no miraculous shortcut to the better version of yourself.

5. Use Twitter to network. It’s never been easier to get in touch with influential and powerful people. Earlier in my career, I reached out a high-level executive of a company I was interested in. He was hosting an AMA session on Twitter. I asked him for advice about how to get hired for his company, and not only did he reply with some helpful tips, he also connected me with specific people at the company about an open position.

6. Don’t sweat the details. Just make sure that you’re moving in the right general direction. You probably don’t have the knowledge you need today to know the shortest path to your happiness five years from today. But you probably have some idea about how to move in the right direction. Take those steps.

7. Recognize the opportunity at hand. The Internet has fundamentally changed everything. Previously, knowledge was locked away in the minds of industry experts and in the pages of books that you needed to buy or check out from a library. But now, it’s easier than ever to learn new skills. This is essential to becoming the best version of yourself.

8. Write on Medium . Translating your thoughts into written narratives pushes you to think about the ideas in your head at a much deeper level.

9. Don’t count the hours. They don’t matter. Think about the last time you ran on a treadmill. If you looked down at the timer every few seconds, you probably didn’t enjoy your run. In turn, this made it far more difficult to run far.

But what if you took the opposite approach? You plugged in your headphones, lost yourself in the music, and took it one stride at a time….while resisting any temptation to look at the timer at all. If you did this, you probably discovered that you enjoyed the run and made it pretty far. Counting hours just slows you down from reaching your goal.

10. Accept help from other people. Don’t let your pride get in the way. Most successful people needed help along the way, too.

Related from Quora : Which influential person, alive or dead, should I study (thoughts, dialogue, habits, ect.) scrupulously to become the best version of myself?

11. Launch a personal website. Maintaining an online presence of yourself pushes you to become the best possible version of you.

12. Write answers on Quora. Quora is an amazing place to help and inspire people at scale.

13. Ignore the social media scoreboard. People depict an extremely exaggerated version of life on Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, and other social platforms. We only share the good things, not the bad. So when you compare yourself to what you see on social media, you’re just hurting yourself.

14. Celebrate the small wins. Appreciating what you’re doing in the present gives you the motivation to keep making strides towards your ultimate goal.

15. Stop pretending to know things you don’t know. You’ll never learn anything if you pretend to already know everything.

16. Embrace failure. You can’t become the best version of yourself by playing it safe. Heck, getting fired could even be the best thing that ever happened to you, just look at Noah Kagan (employee 30 at Facebook).

17. Call your family. This is just the decent thing to do. But you can also learn lessons from your family that aren’t available through any Google search and aren’t accessible to pretty much anyone else in the world.

18. Exercise in the morning. Once I started doing this in the morning, I became far more focused and relaxed throughout the day. Science backs that up, too.

Related from Quora: How do I make sure I’m not overthinking?

19. Create a side project. Doing something productive outside of work that makes you happy helps you become a better version of yourself. So, whatever it is…an app, film, album, whatever….start doing it on your nights and weekends. And who knows? It might just turn into a full-time job that you love.

20. Help other people become the best version of themselves. Pay it forward. Doing so keep you motivated on your own path, and you’ll find that the lasting connections you build from helping others will greatly benefit you moving forward.

21. Launch your MVP early. If you’re not satisfied with the current version of yourself, then the quickest way to solve the problem is to begin working towards the better version today. There is no “right time” to get started.

It can be tempting to think about the best version of yourself as some intangible point in the future. You know, the one where you are:

• More successful
• Doing what you love
• Existing as an overall happier person

You see your current self as the regular season, and you’re just waiting for the playoffs to start before giving it your all.

But if all you do is wait for the best version of yourself to happen, you’re forever going to be stuck with the current version.

So, how do you launch the best version of yourself? Start making progress today .

Sometimes, you need to make a big change in order to unleash the best version of yourself. If one thought recently entered your mind, then it’s time to do it.

This question originally appeared on Quora : What can I do to make sure I’m becoming the best version of myself?

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10 ways to become your best self

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What does it mean to be the best version of yourself?

10 strategies to help you become the best version of yourself, how to find the motivation to be the best version of yourself, 3 extra tips to be the best version of yourself, moving forward.

Your sense of self is ever-changing, not static. There’s the person you are at home, which is likely different from who you are at work or school. How you act and present yourself in public may be quite different from how you are with loved ones. 

But which one is your best self? You may feel like it’s a combination of all those options mentioned above — or none of them at all. 

Learning how to be true to yourself is an age-old struggle. You may feel that your mind, body, and heart tell you to act one way, but society demands you to act differently. 

But exploring your authentic self can teach you how to be true to yourself in a relationship, to be comfortable in your own skin, and to live the life of your dreams.

Putting in the work can be overwhelming, but it’s worth it in the long run. That’s why we put together these tips, on how to be the best version of yourself.

Being your best self means living authentically. 

To be your best self, you need to stay true to yourself and your values. You also need to make sure you’re doing what brings you a sense of happiness, purpose, and meaning . Being your best self isn’t dependent on life being smooth or perfect — it’s about what you can control.

Also key: is sustainability. You wouldn’t want to trade your tomorrow for the way you’re living today. Being your best self means understanding and unlocking your potential.

Tune out unhelpful comments from others, in favor of focusing on your needs and setting goals . This mindset applies to school, your career, relationships, health, and personal development.  

Your best life will be different than someone else’s. There’s no “one right path” to living authentically and finding your true north .

There are no high school courses titled “how to become the best version of yourself 101,” so it may seem overwhelming to figure out where to begin. To get started, here are 10 tips to be the best version of yourself:

1. Don’t delay

Thinking about running that marathon? Register today. Eager to pursue that degree? Start preparing your application. 

The first step to doing anything worthwhile is beginning. And while it can be quite challenging to make that initial leap, without kicking off the process, you won’t get anywhere.

2. Prioritize what matters to you — not others

You’ll never feel fulfilled if you live trying to meet someone else's expectations. Instead, channel your effort and energy toward what matters to you.

That may be your family, travel, or reading a good book regularly. Only you can determine what’s most important to your happiness and sense of purpose in life. 

Spend time around people who encourage positive self-talk and make you feel good about yourself.

3. Don’t sweat the small stuff

Unexpected events will undoubtedly arise as you go through life. You’ll make errors and embarrass yourself. That’s okay. Learn from your mistakes and setbacks and be grateful for the progress you’re making.

4. Accept help from others

Your pride can hold you back from accepting praise and evolving. Try to work against this, and accept help rather than denying it. 

There’s no need to travel the road to find your best self alone. BetterUp coaches are here to help keep you accountable and provide the perspective you need to carry on when the going gets tough.

5. Take a break from social media

Platforms like Twitter, Facebook, and even Linkedin are deeply embedded in our lives. But even as social media keeps us connected and informed, it can lead to comparison and self-doubt . 

If you find that scrolling your feeds leaves you feeling down, not uplifted, try to establish boundaries. And if you feel inadequate as you browse social media, remember people tend to post their highlights, not low moments.

6. Celebrate small victories

The little things matter. 

Celebrating even small wins will give you the motivation to keep going until you reach your final goal. If you’re focusing on one big goal, try splitting it into steps so that you’re seeing progress. Don’t forget to reward yourself as you hit benchmarks and milestones!

7. Exercise daily

Exercise brings a wealth of positive effects to your everyday life:

• According to a study from 2017 , exercise creates better blood flow to the hippocampus region of your brain — a region that’s crucial for your memory. This translates into better working memory and focus. You’ll be more productive and efficient.
• Physical activity also clears your mind and delivers a rush of oxygen to your tissues that helps your organs work more efficiently, which gives you more physical energy .
• And, of course, exercise makes a big difference to your long-term health, helping prevent chronic health conditions such as type 2 diabetes and high blood pressure, according to the Mayo Clinic . Your best self is a healthy self.

8. Speak up for yourself

Your opinion is important. Stand up and speak up. It may be nerve-wracking, but the more you practice, the more confident you’ll feel.

9. Embrace failure

 In order to experience growth, you’ll need to get out of your comfort zone.

You’ll never develop new skills, discover new interests and passions, or experience personal growth without risks.

Failure can be the best teacher if you take the time to reflect and do the work to learn from it.

10. Stop looking for short-cuts

These don't exist when it comes to self-improvement. It takes patience and hard work. Period.

Finding the motivation to do daily tasks is tough. Summoning up the drive to make a big change — like choosing to live authentically — is even tougher. You’ll be more likely to succeed if you uncover why you want to create the best version of yourself.

That way, you’ll avoid sabotaging yourself before you even get started. Staying disciplined is easier if you can clearly see the rewards ahead. 

Humans can be intrinsically or extrinsically motivated. Intrinsic motivation means finding motivation within yourself. You can tap into this if you enjoy challenges or like learning new things.

Extrinsic motivation means that you do something either for a reward, like praise or a good grade. It can also be to avoid the consequences of not doing it, like being reprimanded at work.

You may find that you need to find both extrinsic and intrinsic motivators to keep you working toward being your best self. If you’re struggling to feel ambitious, try taking a break to recharge. Or, talk to someone about how you’re feeling.

As you strive toward authenticity and being the best possible version of you, it’s wise to remember the following:

1. Your values

Whether it’s family, trust, loyalty, hard work, or kindness, what you value is at the core of what defines you. Your personal values define how you view the world and others in it.

2. Your strengths

Everyone has both hard and soft skills and is capable of accomplishing a ton. Focus on developing your strengths — these will help you overcome hurdles.

3. The importance of self-compassion

You may feel like you’re traveling in a completely different direction than others, especially if you’re not where you want to be. Take a moment to appreciate what your mind and body do for you. You’ll get there.

Learnin g how to be the best version of yourself i s a life-long journey. You’ll grow and change at each new chapter. But, with these ten tips, each iteration will be better than the last. It’s a lot of work, but your personal growth is worth it.

We believe that everyone is capable and deserving of this transformation. We’ll help you cultivate and balance that go-getter hustle with smart moves to ensure that the steps you take will sustain your health and happiness. If you’re willing to put in the work, we’re here to support you.

Transform your life

Make meaningful changes and become the best version of yourself. BetterUp's professional Coaches are here to support your personal growth journey.

Elizabeth Perry, ACC

Elizabeth Perry is a Coach Community Manager at BetterUp. She uses strategic engagement strategies to cultivate a learning community across a global network of Coaches through in-person and virtual experiences, technology-enabled platforms, and strategic coaching industry partnerships. With over 3 years of coaching experience and a certification in transformative leadership and life coaching from Sofia University, Elizabeth leverages transpersonal psychology expertise to help coaches and clients gain awareness of their behavioral and thought patterns, discover their purpose and passions, and elevate their potential. She is a lifelong student of psychology, personal growth, and human potential as well as an ICF-certified ACC transpersonal life and leadership Coach.

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Home — Essay Samples — Life — Personal Growth and Development — How People Around Are Helping You To Become The Better Version Of Yourself

How People Around Are Helping You to Become The Better Version of Yourself

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Published: Sep 19, 2019

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Define the Best Version of Yourself, and Work to Achieve It

• Take some to define what success means to you, and what it will look and feel like when you achieve it. From there, create a list of the different ways you can achieve this success. Then, narrow down your list to the 3-5 options that you're most energized to go after.

• Try not to compare yourself to others and think they are better than you. Instead remember that there are so many people who are unfortunate and that you have better circumstances than them. That would help a lot.
• Also, try not to get easily angered by anything, but if you do, try to forgive who ever angered you. This doesn’t mean that you’re weak and that it’ll be like nothing bad ever happened; on the contrary, what happened still happened but you’re strong enough to relieve yourself from the heavy weight that was keeping you down, now letting you heal.

Design a meaningful life that you feel good about living. "The challenge of life, I have found, is to build a resume that doesn't simply tell a story about what you want to be, but that tells a story about who you want to be."

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Dhruv Gehlot

Jul 5, 2019

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11 Ways to Become the Best Version of Yourself

1. take responsibility for you.

• What kind of things do you enjoy doing?
• What kind of food do you eat?
• What kind of people do you spend your time with?
• What life decisions have you made?
• Did you make those decisions quickly or did you hesitate, talk it over with half a dozen people, think more, and then decide what to do?

2. Be Present in Every Moment

3. teach your brain, 5. take a chance, 6. be honest, 7. prioritize.

• Sleeping in an extra hour
• Practicing yoga
• Waking up early and meditating
• Drinking coffee while watching the morning news

8. Say “Yes” to Life

9. have balance, 10. be thankful for this amazing life, 11. love yourself, related articles, gleanings from the bhagavad gita: life lessons for peace ..., rest in the arms of love, explore and restore: the path of self-discovery and conne..., bring balance to your inbox.

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3 Tips for becoming the best version of yourself

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Alex Deschênes is a specialist in John Paul II’s theology of the body and founder of Ignis, a Canadian organization dedicated to “form and counsel young people, couples and parents by helping them to embrace an authentic masculinity or femininity, to discern and pursue their vocation.”   Here, he shares with Aleteia some tips on becoming who we really are made to be.

“If you are what you should be, you will set the whole world on fire!” This was a powerful statement made by John Paul II (inspired by St. Catherine of Siena) at the closing of WYD in Rome in 2000. He also used to like to repeat this injunction of the Greek poet Pindar: “Become who you are.”

That sounds good, but how can we do that? Simply by giving yourself, by loving. To whom can we turn as models in this matter? The saints. Alex Deschênes explains why.

1 TO BECOME YOURSELF, LET YOURSELF BE TRANSFORMED BY GOD

“God is the one who knows us most intimately,” Alex Deschênes says, and He wants to reveal our identity to us. We are his children and He, as our Father, wants us to know Him and to be like Him.

This closeness comes through prayer. “The more I converse with God, the more I resemble him.” God has the power to transform us. “To become ourselves, let us allow God to transform us, allow Him to do the work in us.” Just like the saints!

Indeed, the saints have allowed themselves to be transformed by God. “They are the most unique people in the world! People who follow what’s fashionable are all alike!”

God comes to enlarge our hearts, to transform our wounds into places of healing, of witness, of joy, in order to make us more like Him. “Being holy means becoming the best version of ourselves.”

2 TO KNOW YOUR WORTH AND DIGNITY

To become who I am, I must first know who I am. No one can take away from us what we are: we are beloved children of the Father. God has made us His children and we are worth more than anything else in His eyes.

It’s good for us to know that we have infinite value in God’s eyes, that we are unique and irreplaceable. In fact, what we have to give, no one can give in our place. Mother Teresa used to say, “Give yourself entirely to God. God will use you to accomplish great things on the condition that you believe much more in His love than in your weakness.”

3 LOVING, GIVING YOURSELF

Love is the royal road to becoming yourself. It is by loving and by practicing virtues that the saints became themselves.

Virtues are like muscles, moral forces within us that must be worked and practiced daily. Everyone is called to develop generosity, courage, respect … “The more I practice a virtue, the more it becomes a part of me, and the better person I become.”

Jesus transformed the world by giving His life. Being a gift, giving yourself, means really becoming who you are. “You become a gift to others when you love as God loves you.” It’s an invitation to love, whatever your vocation in life: in marriage, celibacy, or the consecrated life.

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